Thursday, July 26, 2007

Personal Objections

So the blog Polygynous Blessings appeared on today, so I took a look; I've read it before and never really bothered to try to comment. But I wanted to comment on something which appeared recently--apparently, free comments aren't allowed. So I'm just posting my comments here. The post, Ibn al-Qayyim on Polygyny, supposes I guess to give a scholarly perspective on the issue. That's not good, because it means I'm going to get flack for contradicting him.
The woman - because of her free time, slowness, and absence of what will keep her busy from the fulfillment of her desire - might be overtaken by her desire, and will not find that which would oppose it.
I disagree, totally. This is one of those stereotypes, I think, that men wish to be true but that can be easily contradicted just by asking women. That's what I think. Nobody asked me for my opinion anyway. Plenty of women who do not have free time, who are very busy and "distracted" from fulfillment of desire still find it strong enough to overtake them. This suggests that women are only passionate because they are bored, while clearly women who are not bored are passionate as well.

The woman, on the other hand, if the man fulfills his desire with her, she becomes exhausted, and does not seek to fulfill her desire with any additional man within that time frame.

Again, I disagree. "Within that time frame" appears to be in that night, a single night. A man fulfilling his desire on a woman hardly need exhaust her, and does not suggest at all that she would be unable or uninterested in seeking to fulfill her desire again in the same night, even multiple times more. Any exhaustion a woman feels is more or less equivalent to that of the man, and quite temporary.

The rest of the post didn't bother me so much, but I do tend to question the whole thing if part of it bothers me. A lot of the points made are fine; I don't really agree or disagree. It just seems like an attempt to justify polygyny and despite having a considerably favorable opinion towards it, I have yet to see a justification I find convincing. This post didn't do it for me.


Safa said...

Assalaamu alaikum....

Well no flack from me about your post. Interesting concept about the woman becoming exhausted....hmmmmmm. Don't think that's ever happened to me. I think women are ready to go ahead with round 2 much faster than most men...HAHA!!

I'm also one of the Polygyny bloggers. Although I'm definately not as GUNG HO as Mizazeez. (not many are) Come visit!

Amy said...

I'm also one of the Polygyny bloggers. Although I'm definately not as GUNG HO as Mizazeez. (not many are) Come visit!

I do keep a regular (lurking) eye on your blog Safa, and just don't comment. :-) Thanks for stopping by, and I'm glad you agree.

Anonymous said...

As'salamu Aleikum,

Msha'Allah, you have got nice blog :)

I'll try to post your comment on Ijtema

Umm Yusuf said...

I think sometimes it's easy for men to talk about women's issues. Though, in my guess, I should certainly hope those men have never been women thus have mixed up ideas on how we feel. I feel it is far more productive for a woman to talk about women's issues.

Polygny has its perks. It is a man's right. I don't oppose polgny. But to make blanket statements about women's drives and feelings is absurd. I certainly agree with Safa.....MANY women are more insatiable than men.

Modern Muslimah said...

As salaamu 'alaikum,

I'm not surprised by his quotes. Throughout history, men (Muslim and non-Muslim) have thought that women have much less sexual desire than men or at the very least, we're suppose to be (even though this idea is not supported by the Qur'an). I guess we have to remember that scholars are still people who are influenced by various factors such as time, class, gender, etc. I admit that I laughed at his quotes but then I wondered how many Muslim scholars still hold this opinion today.

Hasna said...


I do not believe polygamy is a man's "right", rather I believe polygamy as mentioned in the Quran, is an option, and more importantly, a protection for women. Culture, Scholars, and men in general (not all), have twisted this meaning to suit their own agendas, then attempt to persuade women into believing their version of what is or is not acceptable in the name of religion. Why do men assume to know more about women than women themselves?