Dragon Breath

I remember the first time I ate "Pakistani" food. It was at the ICNA Convention last summer. I remember it because it didn't go so well. Prior to then, I can't recall any gatherings with Muslims anyway, especially with food involved. So like I said... it didn't go so well. hehe. But I ate nothing but that for the entire weekend, and by the end all was well and I've not had any real problems since. Now, I'd say I can't get enough of it. I now love spicy food, though my family can tell you that I gladly shied away from any kind of extra seasoning, save a little salt and pepper. (Or maybe a lot of pepper, in the case of green bean casserole...) But moving out "into the world" as it were, I've explored all new varieties of seasoning food and I like it.

I've discovered that Abou Ganouge downtown Raleigh has the best curry chicken... ever. It used to be called BabaGannouj which makes more sense, but now it's under new ownership. However, this later name is actually a chain of stores, there's one in Cary and also in Apex. I've discovered that the one in Apex, even though it sells curry chicken and it looks the same... it's not. It's very bland. Although, I have it on good authority that the Apex store is spicy as well. I should say though, that I don't just like to eat there because the food is spicy but Muslims own and run the stores. It's nice to have a greeting (salaam) before and after lunch or dinner... plus really tasty food.

There's one store not far from here that actually serves halal meat, called King Kabob. Bangladeshi, Pakistani, and Indian food, they advertise. Some of my friends used to eat there on Fridays because they have a buffet.... mmmm. Dangerous, that is. But I stopped by there last week to get some byriani... it was delicious. And just this weekend at the seminar, they had ordered lunch for us on sunday and... yes, it was byriani again!! And there was some leftovers so being the starving college student working two jobs (ok, I'm not starving, but there's a reason I work two jobs...) I took some home with me. No, I wasn't the only one to do that but alhamdulillah it is helping to feed me this week. Alhamdulillah for many things. Byriani among them.

So I wonder when I eat all this spicy food, really, how awful my breath must smell!! I find that terribly amusing and I can't help but laugh. Rawr.

Seminar II: Session 1

About the Arabic seminar. This one was much much better than the last. It was about the same temperature inside the masjid, 85-90F, as the last one. But it was much more enjoyable. (Perhaps now I'm more adjusted to it?) It took me a little bit of time but I think I finally started catching up. And I'm doing ok, you know? Catching on, albeit slowly. I have a lot of reviewing today.

Although, for anyone who is thinking about studying Arabic language, my advice is merely this: start yesterday.

What I learned even in the first day was invaluable, and what I know now is just amazing. Subhanallah, I learned 5 ayaat in the Qur'an a few weeks back, knowing the meaning of every single word. Now I can understand even better than I did then and to be able to listen in salaah and comprehend even a handful of words is something really special. To understand a phrase is wonderful, entire sentences, amazing. This is an experience that non-Arabs long for in their prayer really... and it adds another dimension. So to anyone--study Arabic.

And the teacher seemed much better today than before. Perhaps his nerves were frazzled the last time anyway. (He had good reason; he'd missed his flight the first day and most of the class wasn't too happy with him.)

Mostly we covered verbs, and I just realize I have a ton of things to review, loads to memorize. Charts to make. He said something interesting. To learn these rules, to make it habit of knowing the harakat basically for the grammar, had to learn by pen, by our ears, and by our tongue. So by writing it over and over, listening over and over, and speaking over and over. And generally that's the natural way I suppose, repetition. So he suggested we make recordings of ourselves saying these things, then play them all the time. At home, in the car, at work, in the bathroom. He said we should be speaking, living, breathing Arabic. All the time.

I must say, that doesn't seem like a bad idea.

Mundane things

He's been sleeping in my bed... and he peed on the carpet, so now the gate is up and I won't let him back down the hallway to sleep with me anymore.

It was really cute, though, after he peed on the carpet. Like he knew it was bad. I was playing the piano in a back bedroom and he came and sat by my feet. (It's annoying because it gets in the way of the pedal, but it was cute.) He'd walk around the piano, my chair, maybe whimper a bit. I didn't even know, at that point... then later I looked out the hall. Haha. Like he wanted to be cute for me so he wouldn't get in trouble. Then I saw it... and he cowered. He looked so pitiful, so I didn't yell or do anything. (Not like it'd do any good.) I talked to him while he stood there, halfway laying down almost, tail between his legs, not making eye-contact... cute. Then cleaned up the mess and replaced the gate. So now he doesn't come wake me up at 3am trying to sneak under the covers.

For now I'm staying at my parents' house. It should be good... they don't have cable so I'm less inclined to watch tv, but I just spend time on the net instead. I have been slightly more studious. Although, tomorrow I apparently have a quiz at the arabic seminar that I'm not prepared for at all. I'm still irritated at them for changing the time of the seminar.

If you tell people 4pm-9pm, saturday and sunday.... shouldn't they expect and plan on 4-9, saturday and sunday? Apparently not. Apparently they reserve the right to change the time, at the last minute, to 10a-3pm on one of the days. Not that they'll tell you which day until a week in advance. I don't get a day off you know. I work every single day of the week, 4 hours each day of the weekend. So I have to take off when they change the schedule like this and it would really help to know in advance!! But either way.. quiz tomorrow on some words.

And you know... the really sad thing is, I'm irritated with the change in timing, I'm irritated the instructor missed a day of the last seminar and now we're behind, I'm irritated that the instructor didn't cover much material that day in the first place, and I'm irritated at his teaching style which I find to be uniquely rude to the "hijabi" side. It all makes me consider him, fairly or not, incompetent to teach. Not to mention even his english leaves something to be desired. Sigh. Frankly, I'm irritated, and I don't want to go. Can you believe it? I actually don't want to go learn Arabic. Am I irritated because I don't want to go? Or do I not want to go because I'm irritated? I want to learn Arabic, I love learning it, and I love studying it. But I do not like that new instructor and I don't like his seminars.

I have verbs to learn.

Responding to Lies and Other Buh......

Remember how I mentioned recently I found a book my mom had been reading? Voices Behind the Veil? Well, I found another book. The The Politically Incorrect Guide to Islam (and the Crusades). By Robert Spencer. (Evil Islamophobe!) And I feel no shame calling him that, after going through this book. Convinced at the outset, months ago, just by reading the cover, that it was a book filled with nonsense and hate propaganda against Muslims, I decided to open it up. With a pen and some sticky notes. Let me share the Table of Contents reading, so you can imagine for yourself what kind of book this is (oh, btw, politically incorrect guide forms the acronym PIG. may I call the author that please?)

Part I: Islam

1. Muhammad: Prophet of War


2. The Qur'an: Book of War


3. Islam: Religion of War (hey wait... I'm sensing a theme?)


4. Islam: Religion of Intolerance


5. Islam Oppresses Women


6. Islamic Law: Lie, steal, and Kill


7. How Allah Killed Science (a3udhubillah)


8. The Lure of Islamic Paradise


9. Islam--Spread by the Sword? You Bet.

Part II: The Crusades

1. Why the Crusades Were Called


2. The Crusades: Myth and Reality (err... reality, then myth?)


3. What the Crusades Accomplished--and What They didn't


4. What If the Crusades had Never Happened?


5. Islam and Christianity: Equivalent Traditions?

Part III: Today's Jihad

1. The Jihad Continues


2. "Islamophobia" and Today's Ideological Jihad


3. Criticizing Islam May be Hazardous to Your Health


4. The Crusade We Must Fight Today (excuse me, but WTF?)

So the book goes like this: first, set up Islam as an evil, hateful, intolerant, oppressive, pseudo-religion. Convince the reader that Muslims were initially out to "get" everyone, like a plague or a virus that just sort of attacks anything. Or maybe like the Borg. Yeah, just like the Borg. Then, after sufficient fear and loathing has been inspired for Muslims, explain that really, Christianity's crusades--those were the good guys and they were just fighting back against those wretched Muslims who were like the Borg trying to take over Jerusalem. (Remember how the Enterprise had to go back in time to stop the Borg from taking Earth in First Contact?? Yeah, something like that.) So not only were Muslims just evil to start with, they were manifesting that evil by attacking Christians, and the noble Christians were fighting back. (I'm getting a bad taste in my mouth...)

Then, once you've set up the good vs evil precept, with the Christians (and in a small way the Jews because we have to be at least a little bit Zionist and heartily American) as the good guys, and the Muslims as the bad guys, then you propose action. You say, look, they are fighting us! They've always been fighting us! They're still fighting us! And they're being sneaky and they're trying to get our more intelligent leaders (like Condi Rice or Kofi Annan) to believe that Islam really isn't evil, it's nice and peaceful. Insidious Muslims! People are starting to think Muslims might be good and people might actually want to start tolerating them (yah, really God forbid?) so we must fight back! We must, is his cry.

What a moron. Yeah, I have no need to be polite at this point. This guy thoroughly ticks me off.

So, armed with a pen and some sticky notes, I attacked the book. Primarily the section labelled "Islam Oppresses Women" because it's certainly the topic of them all I know the most about. I replied to the following subtopics:

• the great islamic cover-up: spencer informs the reader that muslim women have to cover... is that bad or something?


• child marriage: spencer claims men can marry pre-pubescent women and have intercourse with them, based on a ayah about what to do if a woman is divorced before her period starts


• wife beating: says that women who complained about bad husbands were "not the best" that's right, he said the women were not the best. erk. gives an example of hadith that mysteriously has no source


• an offer they can't refuse: calls women property


• don't go out alone: cites shafi'i opinion (so he says) that men may forbid their wives to leave home


• temporary husbands: mocks the ruling on three divorces being permanent


• prophetic license: claims Muhammad saws had concubines in addition to wives, which he somehow thinks is unfair (as if the women had no choice?)


• temporary wives: mut3a


• rape: four witnesses needed: i've had it to here (my arm up high) with this topic, which has been hammered to death again and again on whyislam. it's completely and utter nonsense, a total fabrication


• female circumcision: says muslims think it's part of religion even though he acknowledges most don't practice it. points out it's an african thing, but neglects to mention that non-muslim africans do it too and it's almost entirely cultural. says men clip women to reduce their sexual pleasure. that's sick, what man would do that, really? how dumb.


• long term prospects: dim

I have at least one post-it on almost every page of this chapter, sometimes refuting, sometimes commenting on the sheer stupidity of the comment, sometimes explaining the context. If/when whoever bought this book decides to read it, they'll get a mouthful from me. I made a few additional comments throughout the rest of the book. Overall, I'm disgusted, and disappointed.

I don't know what to do.

"Where are you from?"

Where do I look like I'm from? (Minus the fabric on my head.)
Where do I sound like I'm from? (Minus the occasional Arabic greeting.)
Where do I act like I'm from? (Minus the fact I don't shake hands.)

Or is it so rare inside my town to find people who were actually born here? Beats me. I started summer school a little late, not making it into my communications class until the 4th university day, which was actually the 3rd day of class. For some reason, "because I wasn't there the first day," I was asked to tell the class where I was from.

Me: Raleigh.
Prof: Really? Raleigh?
Me: Yeah, born and raised. (Looking like "What, do you think I didn't mean it?")
Prof: So you went to Wake Co. School System schools?
Me: Yeah... (um, Raleigh is in Wake Co. so how could I avoid it?)
Prof: Wow, a native.

I've lived in or near Raleigh my entire life, mind you, and never seemed to get such befuddled looks when I say where I'm from. Since I still live in Raleigh, and we are all in Raleigh who were present... why is it so bizarre? I felt kind of like a freak.

Today, though, everybody joined in. Apparently the class was falling asleep... I wasn't, oh no, I was dutifully making a list of things I want to do in August, or sometime in the not-so-very-distant future. But we had to pick a partner and say our names and where we were from, and the partner would report. Let's call my partner Billy. Billy is from Middlesex, which is apparently near the border of Nash County. Nash County and which border, I'm not exactly sure. I know I pass it on I-40 or I-95 but never kept track of which road it was on or how to get there... I don't think I'd like to say I stopped for gas in Middlesex... not to mention it's probably at least 2 miles off the highway. (The interstates in Eastern NC go through "nowhere.") And then he reports, Amy is from Raleigh.

Prof: Oh that's right! I remember, you're a native!

So now I'm thinking, you single me out in the class to ask where I'm from, the only girl in a room of 12 boys, apparently a freak in more ways than one, and I'm supposed to be impressed you remembered where I'm from? I don't know if I mentioned it before, but this is the same professor who pretended to be electrocuted by a wall outlet during class... And this isn't communications like speaking and writing--it's electrical communications theory for cell phones and radio, etc., and well, we do probability and fourier series; what could be cooler? I heart convolution.

Anyway, the question reminds me of all the times lately I've been asked regarding my origins. Yes, the white hijabi is quite a rarity. All hijabis, but since I don't look "A-rab" one must ask I suppose. When I was visiting New York, I stopped in the hotel's little convenience shop to buy sunglasses, and the Bangledeshi clerk was very polite in giving me salaams and asking... "Where are you from, sister?" I mean, very polite but... and we had a nice littler conversation and he seemed so proud I wore hijab. (Immigrant men tend to be this way when they see converts covering, while their wives do not.)

Last summer at a diversity training workshop, I remember one guy in the class asking me as we were out to lunch (it was a group from a coastal county I was eating with). When I said I was from Raleigh he asked dismissively, "No, I mean where are you from?" I explain. Then, "What religion are you?" Isn't that cute?

Perhaps it's a Southern or maybe exclusively Carolinian dialect that allows a person to be a religion.

Where are you from?
What religion are you?

People are funny, I'll just leave it at that. I'm likely to get these questions for the rest of my life so I reckon I oughta get used to it.

Heat Lightning

When I was in 7th grade or so... 7th to 10th probably... I remember sitting outside on summer nights near my home with some friends. We'd stay outside after dinner until way late at night, 10 or 11pm in the summer. Of course the sun doesn't seem to set until after 9pm that time of year. In this part of the country at least, the summers are hot, and humid, and known for frequent random thunderstorms.

Air and water vapor heated near the earth's surface move up quickly and form large clouds when the water condenses. When enough water condenses it starts to fall (sometimes in frozen form) and all that water moving up and down, droplets rubbing against each other, causes something called charge separation. Kind of like when you rub a latex balloon against your hair... sort of... anyway. The cloud having a very negative charge near its bottom causes objects on the ground to sort of polarize, which ends up creating a really huge electric field that keeps getting bigger... until it is so big that the air practically breaks down. It starts to behave kind of like a metal (remember learning how metals had those "electron clouds?") with "free" electrons that are poised to... conduct electricity between the ground and cloud basically. And BANG, you short the cloud, the air conducts current briefly while heating up to some superhot temperature (in fact, it might not even be air anymore... let's call it "plasma.") Now air expands when it heats up, and in the case of lightning creates a shockwave--thunder. And yes, thunder can be dangerous if it's close enough.

So, if you feel clever and tell someone you're praying she gets struck by lightning... keep the process in mind... maybe you really don't want her struck by lightning. And to anyone who finds someone else praying you get struck by lightning... run for the hills before you wonder if you've truly lost your heart and mind and anything else personal you might like to hold on to. It's too late for me now, but I don't mind. That's because it's too late.

.

But anyway--what is heat lightning? It's the same as regular lightning, only it's far away. My observer-friend (we would observe and comment on various astronomical phenomena like 13-year old girls tend to do... don't give me that look) informed me that this lightning we were watching one night was "heat lightning." I spent a few years wondering why it wasn't just regular lightning... before I realized it was just regular lightning but someone who didn't know better thought it something else. The only thing is that it's so far away you can't hear the thunder. There is thunder, you just can't hear it. It's not an atmospherical trick that when it's hot you can have lightning without thunder. I should've trusted my intuition on that one.

So as the summer heats up and the thunderstorms come, I think about "heat lightning" and tricks of the summer. On the road I can get a good view of the horizon and just the other night I saw some dark clouds in the distance, lighting up in shades of orange. And for the rest of the night, until I went to sleep I thought about it. What is it about summer--the mindset, the heat, the random frequent thunderstorms--that adds a bit of passion to our lives? My favorite season of the year is definitely fall, but there's something about summer that can make you feel very alive and very intense. And just when you're about to burn-out... it rains.

For me, "heat lightning" is a calming and comforting sight on the night horizon. Safely far enough away to not bother me with a shockwave, but something worth looking at for sure, and proof that the world extends beyond what all my senses can perceive. And who knows, maybe it's headed my way? I could go for some heat lightning right now.

So where is the passion when you need it the most? It's right there on the horizon, just out of reach. But it's coming... inshaa-Allah, it's coming.

How does this happen?

Yours truly in a Jewish newspaper. Not my name, alhamdulillah, but my photograph. I'm not posting the image or the article here... of all the images, why that one?

I'll tell you why, because it's got two Muslim women and two Jewish women in it, yeah and we're smiling and all. I just really didn't like the picture because my hair was coming out of the hijab a bit. (Well, I didn't really have a mirror to keep adjusting and I was moving around a lot so... it slips...) Just some hair in the front but it was unintentional so I was somewhat embarassed by the photograph which is now, yay, being distributed to the entire local Jewish community.

Whoops!

On Birds

One of the more popular sorority interview questions I've heard (after why are you a member, what do you like most about the sisters, etc., and other boring ones) is the following:

If you were an animal, or if you could be an animal... any animal, what would you be?

Oddly enough, it's not a question I've had to think about. I'd be a bird. Why? Birds fly, so naturally, I'd be a bird, as fascinated as I am by flight in general. Taking to the air is a passionate fancy of mine, a special experience I treasure. But I'm not writing this to say I like flying.

The first time I found my affinity for birds developing from my Islam was upon reading this ayah of the Qur'an:

Do they not see the birds held (flying) in the midst of the sky? None holds them but Allah. Verily, in this are clear proofs and signs for people who believe.

It struck me then and... still... the power of this ayah. As someone who had spent some time toiling over exactly how a wing or a body can create lift to stay in the air, I found this a powerful, a moving and beautiful description of flight--being held by Allah.

On whyIslam I had as my signature for a while, the quote, "Oh God, the sky is so big, and my airplane is so small," as well as a transliteration that I can't remember, nor know accurately in Arabic to reproduce here, but meaning "I put my trust in Allah." Being in the air truly impressed on me the necessity of trusting Allah--I was not Muslim then, but I can tell you the feeling of having nothing but an aluminum can and a few thousand feet between you and the ground stirs awe and wonder at more than just the created beauty of the scene. Indeed it reminds us of the glory of the Creator. Subhaanallaah.

Today I came across a particular hadith (incidentally while looking for another one) and it got me thinking about the use of birds as a metaphor in Islam. So let me share this one, and my train of thought.

Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Prophet saws said: "A group of people (both men and women) whose hearts will be like the hearts of birds, will enter Jannah." (Reported by Muslim.)

What on earth could that mean, the hearts of birds? Well after the hadith (I'm reading this in Riyadh us-Saliheen by the way, it's chapter 7, hadith 77) reads "It has been interpreted that such people are those who put their trust in Allah; another interpretation is that these people are tenderhearted." The commentary includes two notes, specifically.

The first note of commentary says that these are valuable qualities, having trust in Allah and kindness of heart. When I read this, the thought which immediately springs to mind is--this is who I want to be. I have mentioned trust above, but let me say again that trust in Allah is, for me at least, the most rewarding aspect of my faith. Anyone who has been reading my blog for a while has seen on numerous occasions I have nothing to do but to turn to Allah and always things turn better than I expected. Things always work out, and I am not left wanting. So I pray that my trust of Allah increases and that I don't hesitate even an instant before laying my affairs before Him. As for being kind-hearted--I couldn't say such a thing about myself, not without a fear of being proud. Yet I pray too that Allah makes my heart one of kindness. I have been very stubborn at times in my life, but determined. Kindness fell by the wayside I think, but I pray it is something I can acquire, tenderness in my heart for others.

The second note of commentary is more familiar to me--I've heard this line of thought many times in fact. There is a well-known hadith which describes how birds find their provision with Allah. They leave their nests and return with sustenance--Allah has provided for them. Yet they did have to leave the nest to find it. And they do not horde it, but they take only what they need. There's a lesson in that--one, that we might have to leave our comfort zone to find sustenance... yet we can trust in Allah that He will provide for us, and He is the Provider.

So there are lessons in the birds... lessons for me as one who loves to fly, but these are not lessons of flight but lessons in imaan. So I pray for Allah to increase me in imaan, and make my heart like the hearts of the birds.

Da'wah Via Powerpoint

Yes, yes, one of the first steps for a group committed to educating the non-Muslim population about Islam is to devise a powerpoint presentation, a script and slides to match, as a guide for novice presenters to give a little speech explaining the highlights of Islam.

The da'wah committee at my masjid, a committee I'm now apparently on, has been meeting recently to do just that. The only thing is, there is already the presentation, we're simply fine-tuning it. It has some issues, largely cosmetic to be honest, but for the most part the content is fine--assuming, of course, that the person presenting actually knows what they are talking about, and what they are supposed to be talking about.

The problem we have then, as we "fine-tune" the presentation, is people disagreeing about what should be said, what should be on the slide, etc... To start with, there is the existing presentation that has been in use for a while now, designed years ago by someone else who is not even much into giving it any more. The two current heads of the committee are well-rehearsed on the presentation and what they say, and what is good to say (i.e., helpful) and what is not (i.e., confusing.) But there are some people in the room who I imagine plan to give this presentation one day, who have completely different ideas. Of the two current chairs, one is born Muslim, and the other is his wife, a convert. I for one think they do a fabulous job, and more fabulous the more I learn about what they've done. But... everyone's entitled to their opinion.

A week or so ago we were discussing which bullets to put on a slide about salaat. Should we say wudu? Should we say purification but not wudu? Should we (this is one of the later slides, by the way) eliminate all Arabic transliterated words from the presentation now!? Should we not mention this aspect of purification at all?

It was then that I realized people are getting tired. I've done this once before, learned the presentation, learned the script. I have an opinion on what should be on the slide too. But what I didn't exactly understand was the reasons people wanted to keep things off the slide. This is a generic presentation, multi-purpose.

Sometimes, it will be given to a 7th grade class studying eastern religions and cultures. They will probably be familiar with practices if not beliefs. Sometimes it will be given to law enforcement--they will not know anything, probably, and will be most helped by learning some useful information about the practices of worship. It might be given to a church group, who would probably be most intrigued and benefited by examining the beliefs.

So everyone had to say--should wudu be on the slide or not? I say yes--I consider it an essential part of the prayer that at least deserves mention, and I think ought to be on the slide because, quite simply, it is essential, it is commonly observed and is worth explaining briefly when mentioning the prayer. I'm not picky what word they use, but I think it's a concept to mention to many of the different audiences. Yet another position was that we should not mention at all how Muslims pray (i.e., that we recite Qur'an and bow and so forth) but only why. Now that's a point which needs to be emphasized... that's why 80% of the presentation is spent discussing beliefs, what Muslims believe. Why do we pray? Because Allah told us to. And that point may be elaborated, I suppose, the value of stopping during the day to remember one's faith. But also, the "how" is pertinent information. Especially since in many cases we are trying to explain that it's not harmless, it's a quite simple and benign act which Western culture might not actually understand (since prayer is no longer a common thing.) So what it looks like, the purification beforehand, the call to prayer... I think it's worthwhile to mention, when explaining salaat. I guess that's my opinion but... if they are entitled to one, so am I.

Yet I know, that when I give the presentation, I'm the one who can say what's important. And hope that what I say is taken with as much or more weight than a silly slide.

Fake News?

Just yesterday I happened to turn on the television news, and was listening distractedly to their reports. A news clip may be only 10-15 seconds, and they cover several... most are devoid of any real information, but what was disturbing to me most was how it seemed like... TV. As if I were watching a TV show or a movie, and this was the news a character was watching. A very bizarre sensation. Yet it seemed that even the news wasn't real. Maybe someone just made it up. A fire in some neighborhood--news that should be devastating seemed hardly out of the ordinary. A hurricane (or is it now a depression?) threatening the gulf coast. A Caribbean terror plot on JFK airport. That was the very funny one. The media, you see, have already mistakenly identified said alleged terrorists (who incidentally happen to be Muslim) as Muslim terrorists, as if their little scheme had anything to do with Islam. I question whether it was really a plot at all--all it seems to amount to in my mind is evil wishful thinking on the part of some South American fools.

I hate to say it, but I wonder if this was another in a line of manufactured terror plots designed to instill fear in the American public. To support that suggestion, let's consider what the news reports insist upon including... mostly, how bad such an attack could have been, assuming it could have ever happened. They seem reluctant to admit that there was absolutely chance of it ever happening. What are we to think?