Transformed By the Qur'an

I usually insist, when people ask me why I embraced Islam, on the importance for me of reading the Qur'an myself. While there are less relevant details I try to omit--why I felt compelled to read it in the first place, for instance--I focus on this point because it is truly what changed my heart.

Obviously, I read a translation. And even then, there's much I read which I still didn't understand. But from the first page, I read voraciously, daily, whenever I had the time. I didn't read a passage here or there, or hear random quotations fired like bullets by a preacher, but I had a personal, intimate dialogue with the Qur'an myself.

I don't think it's possible to have a similar dialogue with any other book--the miraculous nature of the Qur'an and its compelling inimitable rhetoric capture the mind and the heart of the reader. And so it's not surprising that those who hear the revelation and disbelieve in it are so scorned. At the same time, can I ever be grateful enough to have been guided by means of the Qur'an? That my heart was opened to its call?

Preparing for Your First Ramadan

If you have embraced Islam sometime in the last year, then you're probably preparing right now for your first Ramadan. If you've not grown up with exposure to Muslim cultures, then you might discover many new customs, habits, clothes, and foods these days. Hopefully you'll make many new friends in addition to all the spiritual benefits and blessings that come with the month of fasting.

But while many Muslims look forward to Ramadan months in advance, if this is your first you might be feeling anxious--so I'd like to offer a few tips to help ease any worries ahead of time.

Intention


Much can be said about the importance of intention (niyyah) in Islam. We're told that we need to "make intention" before beginning any act of worship, like wudhu or prayer, and this goes for fasting too. But when it comes to Ramadan, and fasting in particular, you might find that with the correct intention, you are able to focus on and commit to an act more than if you were just doing it for yourself. So remind yourself that you are fasting for the sake of Allah, to follow His commands, and to seek His mercy and forgiveness.

Tips

• Make your intention at the beginning of Ramadan to fast for the month for the sake of Allah, seeking His forgiveness. 
• Renew your intention daily before fajr to remind yourself why you're fasting. 
• While you make intention, take an opportunity to review the start and end times of the fast for the day on your timetable. 

The Days of Ramadan


As soon as you can, get your hands on a prayer timetable. You're going to want to keep track of a few things during Ramadan (and all year round, so if you can get a yearly table for your area, you should.) For Ramadan, you'll want to know when it starts, the dates of certain days and nights, like which are even and which are odd, and when the 27th is, for example, when it ends, the time to start fasting and the time to stop fasting, and all prayer times throughout the day.

The First Day
It's not always possible to know ahead of time when exactly Ramadan is going to start because Muslims follow a lunar calendar for determining religious holidays. But you can have a pretty good idea. Each one of the 12 months is 29 or 30 days long, and the month before Ramadan is called Sha'ban. You'll want to find out from your local mosque when they expect Ramadan to be.

A note on moonsighting--it's unlikely that all mosques in your area will have the same start and end dates of Ramadan, because some use different criteria for sighting (or not sighting) the moon. You should pick one that you trust and stick with it. 

They might have a date confirmed already based on astronomical calculations, so you'll know when to start fasting. Or, they might tell you when the 29th of Sha'ban will be, after which they will wait to see if the moon has been spotted. If it is spotted, then Ramadan officially starts that night. You'll want to check their website or call someone who might know in order to find out, if you're not able to attend maghrib and isha prayers at the masjid yourself.

In a Muslim calendar, the night precedes the day, so the first of Ramadan will start at maghrib prayer, and taraweeh prayers will begin on that night after Isha prayer. 

If it is not spotted, then it means Sha'ban is lasting 30 days instead of 29. So do not fast on the 30th, but Ramadan will begin at maghrib the next day without any question of moon-sighting.

And don't forget to make your intention to fast for the month of Ramadan!

Tips

• Find out when Ramadan starts by contacting a local mosque. 
• Get a hold of their prayer timetable as soon as you can--they might publish one before Ramadan, but should definitely have one afterwards. 
• Make plans for finding out if Ramadan has started--know which website to check, or number to call, if the date isn't already set. 

The Night of Power

The Night of Power, Laylat al-Qadr, is a special night in the last 10 nights of Ramadan when your du'aa are most likely to be answered, so you definitely want to catch this night in prayer. It will be on the last odd nights of Ramadan, so you should keep an eye on your calendar/timetable. Many people believe it is on the 27th so you might find even bigger crowds at the mosque on those nights. Be prepared, and arrive early!

Tips

• Make a small list of things you would like to make du'aa for, either before Ramadan or when it starts. 
• Use it to remember what you want to ask for throughout Ramadan and especially on the Night of Power (and all the nights it might be.)
• Try to arrive early at the mosque in the last days of Ramadan--consider breaking your fast there!

The Last Day and Eid
The end of Ramadan comes with similar confusion, unless your mosque has already determined the dates. If the moon is sighted after the 29th, then Ramadan is only 29 days, and the following day will be the holiday Eid al-Fitr. If not, then you'll fast one more day and Eid will be after that. There's no fasting on Eid but lots of takbeer--saying Allaahu Akbar.

When You're Fasting

Starting the Fast
Another reason you'll want a timetable is to know what time in the morning the fast officially starts. It begins at the start time of the fajr prayer, so on your timetable that might be labeled as Fajr or possibly as Imsaak. This is probably going to be pretty early in the morning (especially during these longer summer days) but you still should get up to have a small snack or meal (called suhoor) before beginning the fast. Be sure that you're done by the time the fast begins.

A note on prayer times--they are based on the location of the sun in the sky and they will change daily and vary geographically. If you are travelling during Ramadan, you'll need to know the prayer times for all locations you'll be. You can find this online if you don't know of a mosque in the area. Many smartphones also have apps with prayer times, which you can adjust by changing your location. I use Guidance for my iPhone. 

It's a good idea to renew your intention to fast at this time as well! The food you eat at suhoor is going to last you through the morning. Drink plenty of water and avoid having too much sugar early on. If you have a habit of drinking caffeine, you might want to drink some coffee with your suhoor to avoid getting headaches during the day.

Tips

• Drink plenty of water at suhoor time to stay hydrated throughout the day. 
• Avoid sweets for suhoor which will make you hungry later on. 

During the Fast
While fasting you need to abstain from all food (even gum) and water, as well as marital relations. You can resume all of this at night while you're not fasting.

A note on medical conditions--if you need to take regular medications, or have an illness which might prevent you from fasting, you should see a doctor to make sure it is safe, and see if you need to adjust your medication schedule. If you are still not able to fast, then you might be able to make up the days later if it's temporary, or feed a hungry person for each day if it's permanent. 

Tips

• Be extra-conscious of your behavior, and avoid lying, backbiting, gossip, and useless talk while fasting. 
• Use the fast as a chance to tell people about Islam. 

Ending the Fast
As soon as the adhan is called for maghrib prayer, at sunset, you can break your fast. This is called iftaar.  There is a du'a that you should make, and it's recommended to break your fast with dates and water. Then pray maghrib and enjoy your meal, and don't forget to thank and praise Allah and ask Him for forgiveness.

It's likely that you will have many opportunities to share an iftaar with other Muslims, and I would advise you to take advantage of these opportunities as much as possible. Many mosques host iftaars, sometimes donated and sometimes for a small charge. Look out for community iftaars, or if anyone invites you to a dinner at their home. This is a great way to learn more about Islam and Muslims through interaction, time to spend with Muslim friends you know, and to make new friends, while you share in the blessings of Ramadan.

Tips

• Learn the du'aa to say when breaking the fast. 
• First break your fast with dates and water, and then pray maghrib before eating your meal. 
• Eat light and small quantities of food so you still feel fresh when you go pray taraweeh!

Taraweeh


Every night of Ramadan (starting with the 1st night, which will be before you've started fasting) there will be Taraweeh prayers during which the Qur'an will be recited, basically cover to cover over the 29-30 days. This starts after ishaa prayers at night, and will be either 8 rak'ahs or 21, recited in units of 2. There will probably be a short break after the first 4, and some people might leave after 8, or after 11, if the congregation is performing the witr prayer at that time. You can leave then, if you want, and pray witr in the masjid with the group or at home before suhoor. Or you can wait for the completion of 20 rak'ahs, followed by the 21st which will be the witr.

A note about witr--the word means "odd" and is basically a single unit of prayer, usually following 2 or more units, often separately but sometimes attached. (I.e., 2+1, or 2+2+1, etc, or sometimes 3.) This is a highly recommended prayer, in addition to the mandatory 5, which is prayed at night. It can be prayed anytime after ishaa prayer before fajr comes in, but it's recommended to pray it later, after sleeping. 

Praying Taraweeh can be really rewarding, even if this is your first Ramadan and you don't understand a word of Arabic. Try to attend as much as you can to listen to the Qur'an being recited. To help understand what is being recited, read the translation before you come. And it's a much more rewarding experience than, say, watching TV. If you have some regular shows you watch, plan ahead to record them or stream them after Ramadan, so you can spend as much time as possible during Ramadan in worship.

Tips

• Read a translation of the passage before coming to the prayer so you'll understand more of what's being recited.
• Bring a bottle of water to help you hydrate between the prayers. 
• Come early so parking won't be a problem. 
• You can pray witr at home when you get up for suhoor if you didn't pray it at the mosque. 

Days of Not Fasting


It's a reality that most women will not be fasting for a few days in Ramadan, and it's nothing to be embarrassed about. You can still attend iftaars--the other ladies will understand why you won't be fasting. For days of menstruation, you'll need to make up the fasts later in the year, before next Ramadan, so keep track of how many days of fasting you missed.

A note about menstruation--as soon as you notice it, you should break your fast. Do not pray salaah or fast during this time. You can resume fasting on a day when your period has completely finished before the time of fajr, but you can resume praying as soon as you make ghusl. 

If you are pregnant or nursing, it might be best to check with a scholar for the ruling on making up fasts missed due to pregnancy or nursing. There is agreement that it is permissible to break the fasts, but different opinions regarding whether to make them up or feed a person for a missed day.

If you are travelling or too sick to fast for a few days during Ramadan, then you should make up the days later in the year.

Tips

• If you're not fasting and need to make up days, mark the days on your calendar or timetable so you know how many to make up. (Don't throw it away until you've made them all up!)
• If you're attending an iftar and haven't been fasting, let others go first in getting food as they have been fasting. 

Eid al-Fitr


The holiday at the end of Ramadan is called Eid al-Fitr. The festivities begin after maghrib once Ramadan is officially over, by praising and glorifying Allah. It is good to repeat lots of takbeers at this time, until the Eid prayer in the morning. You should find out ahead of time where and what time the Eid prayer will be--and expect to arrive early. Whether at a mosque, convention center, hotel, or fairgrounds, traffic will probably be a problem. Planning to arrive early (at least 30 minutes before prayer time) is a good way to ensure you have enough time to wait in the traffic, park, and walk to the designated area.

The Takbeer
What you'll hear people repeating from maghrib the night before, up until the gathering and time of prayer, is the following:
Allaahu Akbar Allaahu Akbar Allaahu Akbar (Allaah is greater x3)
Laa Ilaaha Ill-Allaah (There is no god except Allaah)
Allaahu Akbar Allaahu Akbar
Wa Li-llaahi-lHamd (And to Allaah is all praise)

Feel free to join in!

The Prayer
The Eid prayer is much like a regular two-rak'ah prayer like fajr, prayed in congregation, though the takbeer phrase "Allaahu Akbar" will be repeated in the prayer more times than usual. The imam will usually explain this before it starts--just follow what he and the congregation do. After the prayer will be a short sermon, which you should sit and listen through before greeting everyone around you.

The Festivities
Try to find out about Eid activities in your area--there might be Six Flags visits, fairs for children, parties, and other activities to celebrate on Eid and the following days. Have fun!

Ramadan Mubarak!

I appreciate your feedback as comments and by email. If you have additional tips or recommendations, can correct any mistakes, or would like to re-post the article, please do let me know! Anything good is from Allah. 

How to Keep Women Out of Your Da'wah Project

I feel connected to American Muslim Da'wah Projects, having found Islam and grown as a Muslim with the help of volunteers working for Islam here in the US. Through networks of da'ees spanning the country, and even the globe, I've seen countless people find and embrace Islam. And the diversity of people seeking information about Islam requires a diverse pool of volunteers who can connect with them.

Unfortunately, now and again a da'wah project, or a voice within one, might seek to promote homogeneity among volunteers. But a da'ee in the USA is likely to face both men and women from different races, countries, and cultural backgrounds, and I think that an organization that doesn't include diversity in its volunteers is going to have trouble reaching an American audience. Specifically, a volunteer base that doesn't include women won't be effective in reaching women.

A majority of converts to Islam are women, so it seems strange to me that anyone giving da'wah would try to impede the participation of women in the da'wah effort. And it seems outright hypocritical to suggest that it's not appropriate for a Muslim woman to engage in dialogue about Islam--if it's wrong for a Muslim woman to talk to men to give da'wah, then how is it okay for a Muslim man to talk to women for the same purpose? Clearly the best approach is for women to be available to speak to women, and for men to be available to speak to men. And given that Islam is frequently under attack regarding its treatment of women, isn't it much more powerful for women themselves to dispel the common myths fueling those attacks, rather than men whose attitudes may inadvertently confirm them?

With women embracing Islam at three times the rate of men or more, we need more women giving da'wah, not less, who can answer the questions and provide follow-up to women learning about Islam. But I've still seen women prevented from being effective in da'wah by policies and more frequently by other volunteers who oppose their participation.  Here's some signs it might be happening in an organization you're working with.


1. Women are not invited to participate. 
This could happen a number of ways--is the organization really only open to a select "boys' club" of friends and colleagues, without inviting the community to participate generally? Is advertising restricted among a male-only circle via email, or in a masjid? If only men are being contacted to participate as volunteers, or serve on the board, then the crucial input of the community's sisters is being neglected.

2. If women come to your meetings, they must sit in another room. With the door closed. 
Segregation can go too far. Picture a board meeting taking place in one of two adjoining rooms, where all the male board members sit except for one sister who is expected to sit in the other room with the door closed--she can neither see the other board members nor hear them well, and cannot be seen or heard herself. I'm sure that in a professional setting, these men wouldn't dare suggest that their female coworkers sit in another room, so why ask it of female board members? Separation prevents a few flow of ideas and places a barrier not just to seeing the opposite sex but from their contributions. Literally locking women out does not encourage them to participate or to voice their ideas; it devalues their opinions. And even if they try to participate, physical barriers prevent them from being heard and taken seriously by other members. This is not professional, and it's not the way an organization should conduct itself. Meetings should be open for fluid communication where everyone's voice can be heard equally.

3. The email list is used to express disapproval with women's participation in the organization.
Politics do not belong on mailing lists--it's unprofessional and immature--and the mailing list of an organization or a da'wah project should be treated with utmost professionalism. Are the members not representing Islam, after all? Using the mailing list as a means to voice one's opinion cheapens the discourse and turns people off. Using it to protest the contributions of women is not only offensive but can sabotage the productivity of the organization. Sending articles to promote segregation and marginalization of women in other countries, for example, only serves to isolate and attack women volunteers. The way men and women are separated in Saudi Arabia, for instance, might work fine for the Saudis but as a model won't translate well in the USA. Arguing about how the Saudis do it is neither relevant to the work of da'wah nor beneficial to an American da'wah project.

There are many da'wah projects tailored to American audiences, taking into account the different culture and attitude volunteers might face here in the USA rather than in Muslim countries they might have come from. Participation of women is one factor that American da'wah workers need to consider--if they want to keep women out, I'm sure they can. A bad attitude and behavior like I mentioned will keep many away--myself included. But what kind of da'wah is that, really?

Finding Dignity in Hijab

I wear a hijab now. Hijabs are cool.

That's a line that should ring familiar to Doctor Who fans--the Eleventh Doctor (played by Matt Smith) likes to justify his odd clothing choices in this fashion. For instance:

Yeah, it's cool, bow ties are cool. (The Eleventh Hour)
It's a fez. I wear a Fez now, Fezes are cool. (The Big Bang)
I wear a Stetson now. Stetsons are cool. (The Impossible Astronaut.)

And the hijab line? It's been making its way around Twitter recently, apparently showing that even hijabis think Doctor Who is cool. But with recent headlines about the hijab, maybe it's time to give the iconic Muslim headscarf a PR makeover, of sorts.

We've heard France banning face veils, thinking to save women from male oppression. We've read NPR's story about some women's choice to remove the hijab, patting them on the back for fighting against what is still seen as male oppression. An article by Leila Ahmed appeared this week at foreignpolicy.com challenging the idea that hijab represents patriarchy. And last week I had to monitor a chatroom discussion about hijab, and listen to women from a variety of backgrounds parrot the same idea they've been fed--that hijab is about male domination, a symbol of suppression.

And I recall the quirky wisdom of a local sister who once remarked that if men were really setting the dress code, women wouldn't be veiled, they'd be wearing bikinis. Some men feel possessive about their female relatives and might want them to be dressed modestly, sure, but the rest of womankind? Ever hear of a place called Hooter's?

Now if a woman understands this about men, that they are generally attracted to women and given the option would like to see whatever bits they can, then she has two options, as I see it. First, she can give men the responsibility and control over her body when she decides to freely display her flesh. She can say that they're responsible for what they see, what they think of her because of what they see. Some might be responsible, then--they might do as the Qur'an says, and avert their gaze. Or they might hoot, holler, and harass her when she walks by.

Some might say it's the man's responsibility anyway--he's responsible for looking, or not. And I won't argue with that. But frankly, if the woman doesn't want to be looked at, then she has a responsibility too. And the second option is to take that responsibility, to take charge of her dignity and cover whatever she doesn't want any passerby to see.

One of the first feelings I had when wearing full hijab for the first time was dignity. Covering didn't make me feel cowardly, or weak, but strong and dignified. And I think this word--the one I've used three times in the past three sentences--should be the new word to associate with hijab: dignity.

If we see a picture of an impoverished young woman in a war-torn country wearing dirty clothes and fraying fabric to just cover the top of her head as well, does she symbolize the oppression of patriarchy? Or a symbol of preserving the last vestiges of dignity, despite oppression?

Many of the arguments I have heard from hijabis in defense of covering relate to dignity. Have you heard the sisters with advanced degrees tell how covering forces coworkers and peers to treat them based on their competence instead of their appearance? Dignity. Or have you heard some college students frame it as their form of feminism, representing the strength of their character against social pressures to conform? Dignity. Or ladies who insist on reserving their beauty exclusively for their beloved? Dignity. And what does it take to choose to dress differently than everyone on the street, to explicitly identify with a maligned minority (in non-Muslim countries), to be prepared to take a stand on faith, while anyone else is free to keep quiet? Dignity.

That's what hijab is. Dignity.

Tips for Converts

Yesterday a great post appeared at the suhaibwebb.com blog, including a list of 12 Tips for the Convert Muslim by brother Alex. I wanted to expound on some of the brother's advice. If you haven't yet read that article, I would encourage you to do so before reading this post, to gain perspective on my comments herein.

To start with, I think points 1 (Practice Islam as much as you can) and 11 (Stay away from extremism) might need to go hand in hand. The over-zealous convert is a common story, where a person dives head-first into Islam and leaves everything else behind, and adopts rigid opinions about food and clothes. But like the brother says, "Keeping up with your devotional practices is something that will strengthen your faith immensely." So in the practice of Islam, especially in the beginning, I'd qualify the first tip by saying focus more energy on the devotional practices--prayer, reading Qur'an, fasting if it's Ramadan--and less on external things like food and clothes.

His second point (respecting parents) was one of my crucial mistakes as a convert--I really wanted to debate my parents, instead of just trying to improve myself. It's now one of my biggest regrets--thankfully, my relationship has been improving now that I've backed off and just tried to be a good daughter.

As for his third point (finding a teacher), I'm afraid it might not be practical for everyone, and I suspect that it's probably much easier for brothers than sisters, and might be harder in some communities than others. Sometimes an imam might offer classes for sisters, or even open classes for the community, which are important, but a sister can't visit socially with a male teacher. And finding female teachers is sometimes difficult--not that the women are lacking in knowledge, but are usually busy taking care of their families. And finding time to visit with a teacher on a daily basis isn't something that most people will be able to do. So I would advise for sisters especially to try to find any ongoing classes at the masjid--especially ones geared towards sisters, if available, where they can meet other converts or other women in the community. Finding a casual halaqah might also suffice, if no teacher can be found. Here in Dallas there are tons of programs for Muslims at every stage, and plenty of teachers as well. Not everywhere has that advantage, and sometimes taking classes online (not just reading websites and watching videos, but real classes with a remote teacher) might be another alternative for Muslims in more isolated communities. (Or living in areas where the nearest mosque is hours away.)

For his fifth point (learning Arabic), I'm thinking it might be easier said than done. Being in a full-time Arabic study program myself, I know it's not easy to commit to learning Arabic. Finding a good class locally might be the best way to go, I think, and not putting too much pressure on oneself. For a new convert, especially older converts, things like learning how to pray can be really overwhelming, with just that small amount of Arabic. I might advise not to rush if Arabic seems intimidating, and find a class moving at a comfortable pace. I do think Arabic is important, but not a priority soon after converting.

As for his seventh point (maintaining identity) I think this is much harder for sisters than for brothers. In fact, it's something I still struggle with. I don't even know for sure what my "identity" really is. When I converted to Islam, I was active in a sorority and hanging out with my friends frequently included alcohol. That's not an "identity" that can be preserved inside Islam, I think. But for a sister, donning hijab will inevitably cause identity issues. Whereas a brother can cover himself, and even grow a beard, without it becoming obvious to anyone that he's a Muslim. When a woman starts to wear hijab, her entire wardrobe (which for me, is also a reflection of my "identity," I think) is going to change. What she can wear in public might be drastically different than before, and the scarf itself is an obvious indicator of her conversion. It might even make her feel isolated from her friends and family--they might not want to spend time with her, if she dresses that way. I don't mean to sound all doom and gloom for anyone considering adopting hijab, but these common fears are based in reality.

So maybe it's correct to say to a convert that he/she doesn't have to abandon his/her culture entirely, and to try to find ways to incorporate the good parts of their non-Muslim lives into their lives as Muslims, and to find a balance in their identity. Because some things are going to change, at some point or another.

As for his eighth point (attending the masjid) I know this is definitely going to be easier and more worthwhile for brothers than sisters. With women frequently marginalized at the masjid, and rarely in attendance, praying at the masjid regularly is going to take a long time to pay off, for a sister. She won't be joining a row of regular musalleen* but might be one of only a handful who happen to have stopped by the mosque on the occasion. She won't see regular faces, and might not even be able to benefit from talks after the prayer. (At one mosque I've been to, for instance, the brothers will turn off the mic and sisters have no opportunity to hear the short lecture after the salaah, as they're in another part of the building.) She might even find brothers (or sisters) who discourage her from attending, or criticize her. Attending on Fridays will have a greater benefit, but it might take a while to see it. It's true that the more one visits the mosque, the easier it will become. But for women, I would advise they try to attend classes and lectures as much as they can, and try to find other women in the community who can assist them.

I heartily agree with the remainder of his points. It's a great post (if you still haven't read it, you should) and offers some practical advice. Converting to Islam might be hard in the beginning, but Islam as a way of life is for our benefit and the reward is beyond imagination.

(musalleen--people who pray salaah)

Learning to Pray

A good friend of mine found these videos online a while ago, and mailed the list to a group of convert sisters. I also shared it with someone who was struggling with learning how to say the Arabic parts of the salah and she found it helpful too. So I'm posting it here for anyone else who might be looking for help in learning and memorizing the prayer, and needs a tutorial that goes very slowly.

1. Introduction and Surah Al-Fatihah (Chapter 1 of Quran, recited 17 times total in our 5 daily prayers):

http://www.islamictube.com/watch/9187da8e5ed4f7a6ea4c/1-Learn-Salat-s-Arabic-Recitation-Fatihah

2. How to begin the prayer with "Allahu akbar" (Allah is the Greatest) + Surah al Fatihah + bowing

http://www.islamictube.com/watch/f2ce038b3b0f82c7d6fb/2-Learn-Salat-s-Arabic-Recitation-Fatihah

3. What to say when bowing (rukoo) and prostrating (sajda)

http://www.islamictube.com/watch/c590ffbf1295ce92258d/3-Learn-Salat-s-Arabic-Recitation-Rukoo---Sajda

4. Learn first Tashahhud (what you say when sitting after 2nd rakat/cycle)

http://www.islamictube.com/watch/35058b1ef7b0ac1e11b6/4-Learn-Salat-s-Arabic-Recitation-Tashahhud-1

5. First Tashahhudd (continued)

http://www.islamictube.com/watch/98bfbdc8a619bef7b8f6/5-Learn-Salat-s-Arabic-Recitation-Tashahhud

6. Second Tashahhud (what you say in the last rakat/cycle of prayer while seated)

http://www.islamictube.com/watch/40027581047db105f334/6-Learn-Salat-s-Arabic-Recitation-Tashahhud

7. Second Tashahhud (contiued)

http://www.islamictube.com/watch/7de48a31f6b669e7ba26/7-Learn-Salat-s-Arabic-Recitation-Tashahhud

8. Dua (supplication) you can say after "Allahu akbar" and before Surah Al-Fatihah; and Surah Al Asr (Chapter 103; 2nd shortest chapter in Quran) to recite after Al-Fatihah

http://www.islamictube.com/watch/6b70f378a3a03d0c2638/8-Learn-Salat-s-Arabic-Recitation-Dua---Asr

9. Surah al-Ikhlas (Chapter 112) to recite after Surah Al Fatihah

http://www.islamictube.com/watch/ed14eb1e9c2580056a98/9-Learn-Salat-s-Arabic-Recitation-Surah-Ikhlas

Reverts and their Muslim Communities

One of my articles, recently published by OnIslam.net. You can visit the article to vote and leave comments if you wish.

Isolation is scary, and it’s not easy to face troubles alone. Sometimes converting or reverting to Islam is one of the easiest steps, belying a difficult journey ahead. But the converts who stay on their own and avoid the 

community are the most likely to lose their way. 

In Surat al-Fatihah, we read about a Siraat al-Mustaqeem, a Straight Path, and we ask Allah to guide us towards it. Let’s think about the way this path is described for a moment. Though there are other words for “path” in the Arabic language, the word Siraat, refers to a path which is straight, long, dangerous, wide, and unique. If a path is wide, that means many people can take it at once, and unique in this context means that there is no other path available to the destination. In other words, it is the Path to Salvation, and there’s not an alternative route. But because it’s a wide path, we don’t need to go alone. In fact, when we pray this du’a every day in our salah, we ask Allah to guide us to the Straight Path. We don’t ask individually, or say “Guide me,” but we make du’a collectively—we declare that we worship Allah, and we seek His help, and then we ask Him to guide us, at least seventeen times a day in salaah.

Imagine being lost in the woods, and you come across a path like this—straight, long, wide, etc. And imagine that the path is crowded with people, some even carrying flashlights. It’s easy to join in and follow along. But if you hang back, or walk on your own, you might get lost going down a detour—not the right way, and off the Straight Path. Similarly, in Islam we have a group walking together, and scholars to guide the way. But when a convert leaves the group, even intending to keep going the same way, it becomes more difficult to stay on the Straight Path.

Islam is not a religion to be practiced in isolation—it demands community. Remember that when the Messenger of Allah (saws) moved to Madinah he spent the initial months establishing brotherhood and a masjid. For today’s new Muslims, integrating with the community is similarly important. And the community revolves around the masjid. The Muslim community can be a means of support for a convert or revert who has become isolated from family members, a means of education and instruction in practicing Islam, and a means of constant companionship.

But as our individual identities are often tied to the communities that raised us, entering a new community as an adult can be a daunting experience, notwithstanding the community’s ability to welcome new members. And it’s as important for a masjid to offer programs for local new Muslims as it is for the converts and reverts to involve themselves as much as possible.

Iman will go up and down throughout a person’s life but what might keep someone from leaving Islam altogether is support from other Muslims, and guidance that they wouldn’t have access to on their own. A healthy community should aim to provide its new Muslims with ample social as well as educational opportunities. Informal events offer people a chance to connect with each other and cultivate relationships, while classes and seminars offer knowledge guidance in new terrain.

And just as it’s important for the community to provide the opportunities, it’s as important for the new Muslims to get involved. The Internet can’t substitute for real social interaction, for brothers and sisters who can demonstrate how Muslims really live, day-to-day. And search engines are terrible scholars. Our imams and teachers know (or should know) how to explain things without overloading the listener. As important, they can offer advice tailored to an individual. A website full of fatwas doesn’t know the details of a person’s particular situation. So while the Internet can be a great resource, it’s still critical for new Muslims to involve themselves in their communities, and also for local Muslims to reach out so nobody becomes isolated, and consequently left behind.

Sometimes, the first experience a convert has with a community is a visit to a mosque. The critical first impression might be negative if the convert isn’t able to connect with anyone. This especially happens with sisters who aren’t even able to find women at the mosque, or if they do, the women can’t speak English. Sometimes new Muslims have too many expectations of their community, but there are some steps the community can take to help make things easier for them. For instance some problems could be reduced or eliminated if the community is able to well-publicize its events. An easy-to-see event board and an active website can be important ways for a convert to learn about events. And though it does require effort from some volunteers, properly publicizing events through websites and posters at a mosque are crucial to letting new Muslims learn about activities. Since they are not usually regular in praying at the mosque, announcements after the salaah might not reach them. In particular, because women are in general infrequent at mosques, they might not know about activities even if they are asked.

Also, a simple point of contact might be all that’s needed to break the barrier keeping a new Muslim from participating in events. Dedicated volunteers should be encouraged to specifically welcome new Muslims by directing them to beneficial programs and other Muslims in the area who can befriend them.

Some ideas for a masjid to reach out to new Muslims:

· Community Potlucks

· Book Clubs

· Play Dates for kids

· Iftaars in Ramadan

· Weekly halaqas geared towards new Muslims

· Classes on Essentials of Islam and Beginner Arabic

· Q & A Sessions with an Imam

· Dedicated volunteers for outreach to new Muslims

But what can a convert do? First, take Islam seriously and cherish it, and secondly start looking for ways to meet other Muslims (especially converts who know what you’re going through) and to learn more about Islam on an ongoing basis. It might require making time in your schedule, or driving across town. I offered a class one time that several sisters had trouble attending because they didn’t have cars. But some other sisters offered to provide rides and the end result was that they kept coming and they formed a close circle as well, supporting and encouraging each other. Look for activities at the local mosque and try to contact active volunteers for their advice about local events and activities. Look on websites for local organizations, mosques, and even on event posters—it shouldn’t be hard to find a contact.

Make use of whatever resources are available, and make a commitment. Islam is a journey that doesn’t need to be made alone. Join the community on the Straight Path.

Taking My Own Advice

A few years ago I posted some thoughts about being a recent convert in Ramadan. In my first few Ramadans, meeting many new people (at iftars, at the masjid, etc.) made a huge impact on me. So I would strongly encourage anyone who can to try and invite new Muslims when hosting iftars. It's a great time to help them learn more about Islam by observing, rather than reading.

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to host any iftaars myself for the last few years because of my living arrangements. So this is my first year hosting--and I did take my own advice and host a few this Ramadan. And alhamdulillah, it's been a lot of fun. I announced my own iftars at other events and a mailing list for local sisters, to have a sisters-only iftar. I've had three, the last one tonight, and saw a different crowd each night. I've also seen many of the same sisters at other iftar events.

Alhamdulillah, the sisters in Seattle already recognized the importance of having iftars for converts and singles who wouldn't otherwise have anyone to celebrate with, and already scheduled weekly iftars. These were another opportunity for me to meet even more people.

It's sad that I'll be leaving soon and won't see these sisters again until next Ramadan, but I'm looking forward to it. And now I'm much more optimistic about stabilizing once I get back from Texas inshaaAllaah, since I feel much less like an outsider than I did even a few weeks ago.

Weird Attacks

Do you ever hear weird comments from the enemies of Islam? For instance:

that Islam isn't a real religion, but just a cult, and referring to it as a "so-called religion"

that if people only read the biography of Muhammad they'll understand why Syrian Shari'ah makes a woman burn herself

that face veiling is just "Arab culture" and has no basis in religion

that Muslims try to "sugarcoat" Islam and they don't actually follow the Qur'an?

I've heard each of these over the past two days and I just get confused. The first one I've seen in two places, so maybe it's getting popular (on forums and blogs, anyway) to say that Islam isn't a real religion. It's kind of a crackpot statement, since it's the world's second largest religion (by number of adherents) and the world's largest purely monotheistic religion. The characteristics which define Islam should be defining for any religion--Islam should be the standard, really, as it's so pervasive globally. So to say it's not a real religion? It requires the logic-defying arrogance equivalent to declaring the earth is flat.

The second one I heard on NPR on Friday, during an interview of a particular published enemy of Islam whom the host didn't bother to ask any meaningful questions. The woman hails from Syria--which she upholds as a bastion of Islamic idealism, even Shari'ah (I find this particularly laughable, since Syria is well-known to be quite far from Shari'ah and actually makes it more difficult for Muslims to practice Islam there than here in the USA.) And then bases her entire argument against Islam on an emotional appeal--the tragic (if true, it was indeed tragic and inexcusable) suffering of a female relative. She then bizarrely tries to claim that abuse and oppression of women is based in the biography of Muhammad (pbuh) and encourages listeners to read it in order to verify her claims. I find that pretty odd since I would encourage listeners to do the same thing--read his biography--to see through her weak and unsupported argument.

To be more specific, she highlighted an instance of forced marriage--yet in a clear hadith a woman is permitted a divorce simply because she was married without her consent. In fact, the woman went to the Prophet himself and asked her the question. So she wasn't locked up, forced to stay at home, not allowed to talk to men, or considered to be shameful by the Prophet (pbuh) to speak to him about her husband and to question the marriage.

Then she (the aforementioned enemy of Islam) pointed to the marriage of the Prophet (pbuh) to his wife Aisha, who she claimed to be 6 years old. Again, actually reading the biography would clear up that matter as well.

The third point above comes from a discussion about the burqa banning and arises from Americans who I can only imagine feel that if 20 or 30 women in their city choose to cover their faces, that society is going to collapse, their wives will be cowed into submission to male dominance and forced to wear a suit that looks like--actually, I won't even say how it was described, lest I offend my sisters who choose to wear it. In short, those fears are totally baseless, and I can't see them as anything other than pure bigotry. Moreover, it seems to be a convenient excuse for those who do hate the face veil to pretend that veiling actually doesn't belong to Islam. Without delving too deeply into the religious argument for the veiling of the face, I will say that we have clear evidence that the wives of the Prophet (pbuh) covered their faces, and as that is true, who on earth has the right to prevent a woman from aspiring to such nobility and modesty as maintained by the mothers of the believers?

The last remark is the most curious of all, though I know it's not new. In fact, it's a remark which brought me to Islam five years ago--when someone claimed that the Qur'an promoted violence which Muslims were just hiding. I have relatives who still believe this to be the case. But the difference between me and them on this issue is that I have actually read the Qur'an. The obvious result is that now I am a Muslim. So if anyone is going around claiming that, the refutation is simply to actually read the texts.

Why doesn't the truth speak for itself? Because society likes to watch the shadows on the wall instead of looking at reality and the light of day.

Ramadan Confusion

Want to be confused? Read different fiqh opinions regarding Ramadan. It will just blow your mind.

After being volunteered to talk about the fiqh of Ramadan at an upcoming workshop (in addition to just Eid), I've spent a lot of time over the last week reading different fiqh opinions on Ramadan, and am terrified of presenting this weekend, and unsatisfied with the ability of Shaykh Google to clarify matters.

So what is confusing?

The time to start fasting--at fajr, is obvious. But should you start 10 minutes before "to be safe?" Some say yes, some say no. Can you finish eating or must you spit it out if fajr time comes with food in your mouth? I've heard both.

What should pregnant and nursing women do if they break the fast for fear for themselves or the baby? Make it up? Pay a ransom? Both? All opinions exist.

What about injections? Definitely yes because it introduces something to the body? Definitely no because it's not a normal way of eating food? Yes if intravenous but no if intramuscular? Yep, heard all of those too.

What if you accidentally eat or swallow something, though you knew you were fasting? (I.e., you didn't forget.) One school has the opinion that even accidental swallowing can break your fast, while others disagree.

And I guess what bothers me the most about these is that the stricter opinions tend to not make any sense, but just seem like they exist "to be on the safe side." But it just makes things seem so complicated. In reading these opinions, though, it seems like they all sort of bash the other opinions, insisting that they are wrong, or even "bid'ah" (innovation.) So what if people as me questions about these subjects? "Go ask a scholar, and Allah knows best."

Learning or Teaching Arabic?

Alif, Baa, Taa, Saa, no, Thaa...

Learning Arabic to understand the Qur'an didn't seem like that big of a deal to me until I attended the 10-day Bayyinah grammar course (Fundamentals of Arabic, I think) a few years ago back in North Carolina. And afterwards I didn't really see how anyone could think otherwise about learning Arabic.

Consequently, it surprised me when I found new Muslims who wanted to learn conversational Arabic--local dialects to speak with their Arab friends--instead of focusing on just the Qur'an. But why should they, if they don't even know what kind of a treasure trove the Qur'an is for students of classical Arabic?

So when I started a class for new Muslims myself, a lot of the early feedback was that they wanted to learn Arabic. Nothing fancy at first, but they needed somewhere to start--how to read the language at least. And while teaching Arabic, my focus was learning the alphabet with the sole purpose of learning to read the Qur'an.

Over the past few weeks my attempts to teach have been plagued with various hurdles, including inconsistent attendance and lack of any practice or study between meetings. I'm thinking that the first problem should be fixed by having a class devoted to Arabic for a shorter duration (in terms of weeks of meetings) but with greater frequency, instead of having it appended to a class teaching Islamic studies. Students should know that they have to go a little bit "beyond" to learn Arabic--they need to study it, I can't give it to them.

The second problem could possibly be fixed by having weekly assignments, somewhat like back in second grade. Draw the letter, match it with the name, match it with the connected form of the letter, for instance. That might encourage students to pull out their notes between class times and review--the only way they'll learn it.

Since my in-laws are staying at my home right now (alhamdulillah, it's such a blessing) I've had the opportunity to work on Arabic with my nephew, who is about 5 years old. He's using a standard book that just teaches kid to look at each letter, say it, identify any markings on it (like a madd, fatha--zabur in Urdu, tanween) and then sound it out accordingly. And he's doing a pretty good job of reading and identifying. All he struggles with is proper pronunciation of some of the sounds, especially since many of the letters appear in the Urdu alphabet he's more familiar with but have a different sound in Arabic than in Urdu.

The new Muslim students I've been teaching Arabic are at a completely different place, but I wonder if it wouldn't be best to teach them the same way? Just looking at blocks and reading: alif-fatha "a," alif-kasra "e," alif-dammah "u," and so on. I really worry that I'm just confusing them more than helping them. I've expected that they will review during the week but when we meet again some students are missing, the rest haven't practice, and I feel like I'm back at the beginning. And the next week, it's a different batch of students and I have to repeat, without moving forward (or else leaving almost everyone behind.)

So it's become abundantly clear to me that I'm not qualified to teach Arabic, at least not yet anyway. I can help my nephew review but really I'm not teaching him very much, just reading with him and making him practice. I was teaching a student privately for a few weeks, and by meeting more frequently with her she was able to progress rather quickly as compared to the class. But the only reason she was able to at first was because she practiced everything we went over together during the days we didn't meet.

Any students of Arabic who are just getting started should keep that in mind--they'll only get out of it what they put in, and putting in an hour of class time once a week isn't nearly enough. But practicing and reviewing regularly, that will make the lessons stick so the student can progress to reading and eventually understanding inshaaAllaah.

Anyone have any tips for me for teaching Arabic to adults? The class is pretty much over, but suggestions are welcome.

Celebrating Eid and Ramadan

In about 10 days inshaaAllaah I'll be giving a talk at a Ramadan workshop for new Muslims about celebrating Ramadan and Eid. I'm thinking it's probably the easiest part of the worskhop--other speakers will be talking about the virtues of Ramadan, the fiqh of Ramadan, and making the most of the spiritual blessings of Ramadan, topics that are deeper and carry much more weight in Ramadan discussions. But I get to tackle the little afterthought--it seems that way after 30 days of fasting and worship--called Eid. So I can't really treat it like an afterthought, can I?

Looking back through some old blogs I saw that when talking about Ramadan and Eid, some people commented that they didn't really know how to celebrate Eid, and despite having been Muslim for a while had never actually been to an Eid prayer or celebration. Thinking back on my own experience now, I realize that I was tremendously helped by other sisters who reached out to me and invited me (or drug me along) to various activities and gatherings. In fact, not only on Eid but throughout Ramadan I was able to experience a new level of sisterhood than I had previously.

So I think that I will spend some time talking about the Eid prayer in such a way that attendees feel encouraged to attend the Eid prayer. And then to talk about socialization to prepare them to actually celebrate the day of Eid instead of letting it pass by as a footnote.

Some suggestions I've heard are to mention a gift to neighbors or friends, like an "iftar bowl," a a festive, decorative bowl or box full of dates or fruits with which people can break their fast, but also including the du'a for breaking the fast prominently displayed. Another suggestion about "eid baskets," giving gifts to friends and family--several gifts grouped together in baskets for each individual.

Any other ideas?

Ramadan Over-Planning

I just found out that on the same day I offered to help teach in a Ramadan workshop for new Muslims, there's an even better Ramadan seminar going on in another part of town. There's a very small bit of overlap, so I might go from one event to the next--should I suggest everyone do the same, I wonder, if they come to the first?

There's a big difference, I think, in the quality of a presentation offered by a da'ee, versus that by a shaykh. I hate to see Muslims having to compete with each other when events are offered at the same time (although this kind of seems to be directed to different groups of Muslims.) But it's one side effect of a larger community.

This Ramadan will be my first in Washington and I'm still learning about how things work here. There will be some different challenges here than I had in Raleigh--being further north, maghrib times comes much later, and so does isha, while fajr comes earlier, making taraweeh an even harder sacrifice. But I won't be working or in school this year so I should be able to be more flexible. (Sleeping during the day, for instance.)

Last year I saw one of my friends offering a weekly iftar for a group of convert sisters which seemed to me to benefit all of them. So I'm hoping to do something similar this year, here in Washington, by hosting a weekly iftar for ladies, especially new Muslims, and offering a short lesson before maghrib. Since in the Compass class I'm teaching we've covered salah, I thought it would help to review four different surahs, one each week, to explain the meaning and work on memorizing. So inshaaAllaah we'll do Al-Fatihah, mostly as review, then Al-Ikhlas, Al-Falaq, and An-Naas from the end of the Qur'an.

But again, I hope that my little iftar won't conflict with other events (iftars) that the sisters might like to attend, but there's only so much I can do. For me, visiting people for iftar in my first Ramadan was one of the best parts--I met so many new sisters and it really helped to increase my iman. Now that I have a place with my husband (who is totally supportive of my idea), I'd like to host other people and help make this Ramadan good for them, and a means towards an increase in iman and taqwa.

Moving to Eat Zabihah

Since I became a Muslim, I followed a fairly lenient approach towards eating meat. While zabihah (properly slaughtered according to Islam) meat was available, I never purchased any at the meat market, and didn't make a particular effort to abstain from non-zabihah options, as long as I knew there was no pork or alcohol contained or served with it. But since my husband has always eaten zabihah meat exclusively, even since moving to the USA from Pakistan, we agreed before marriage that we would only have zabihah meat in the house.

And so my transition to eating zabihah has been relatively simple. I haven't decided to wholly exclude non-zabihah meat from my diet, but since I almost always eat at home, and when we go out there are almost always zabihah options, the occasion when I don't eat zabihah is pretty rare.

Since I have been on a high protein diet of sorts for several months now, you might think that choosing zabihah might have been harder--since I actually eat quite a lot of meat. But alhamdulillah, it has been incredibly simple.

Partly this is because my husband and I have a tacit grocery arrangement--usually I will buy all the other groceries and he will buy the meat for me. I've not yet gone to the halal meat shop (I should soon, to feel comfortable going there) but my husband has been able to find for me any cut of meat I wanted, ground beef and chicken, plenty of boneless skinless chicken breasts, and even halal turkey bacon. And as long as my husband takes care of the meat, making sure I've got whatever I need, I haven't felt the need to make any major dietary changes by switching to zabihah meat.

Also, I love seafood in general so it's not a problem for me to enjoy seafood entrées at restaurants if zabihah is not available--although my husband and I usually, if we do eat at a restaurant, opt for halal shops run by Muslims.

One of the few exceptions is when we eat on the road, and "fast food" is the only option. Because of the diet, it's important for me to have lean proteins, but if we pass a McDonald's or Burger King, the only fish on the menu is a fried filet. And while my husband will take that option, I find it healthier to order grilled chicken. Though I do usually pack snacks and meals for when we are on the road to avoid this occurrence most of the time.

Since the vast majority of my meals (I'd say all but one or two in a month) are zabihah, I feel like it would be relatively simple to decide to entirely restrict my diet, but I haven't done so. It has felt like a healthy and easy transition at this point, rather than an unforgiving change I might give up. Certainly, everything I cook and prepare at home is zabihah, and I know now that sticking to zabihah can be relatively easy (at least, as long as you live in a place with plenty of Muslims who demand zabihah and halal options.)

So rather than ever suggesting that someone make an immediate change in this regard, I'd say take it easy, and get there gradually. It can be easy.

Losing Touch?

Alhamdulillah, I have been a Muslim for almost five years--just one month shy, actually. I've had time to avail myself of opportunities--classes and socials--for new Muslims, Muslim youth, and general Muslim communities here in Washington and back in North Carolina, not to mention a few events I attended out of town. My perspective on Islam has changed a little in that time, so that Islam is more comfortable to me and less intimidating, and I'm afraid that I might have lost some of my initial passion for the faith.

But what concerns me today is whether or not I'm out of touch with the needs of new Muslims. This issue in particular is one to which I've devoted many, many blog posts over the years, but something hit me today: I still am overwhelmed by thinking about the problems other converts face.

I know what my own problems were (and are) and how I faced them--for better and worse. And I feel somewhat equipped to discuss them with other converts facing similar issues. But since I've come to Washington, I've spent a lot more time with new Muslims--even now working on a class specifically for new Muslims--and I'm reminded that people do take different paths and face different challenges. And some issues facing other new Muslims just leave me overwhelmed, without any sensible advice or response to provide.

It's why I feel that I might have "lost touch" with new Muslims and the experiences they have, after spending so much time trying to get out of the "new Muslim" phase myself. So the last few weeks have been pretty enlightening for me, reminding me of the difficulties that people face when coming to Islam and also the dedication they have to their faith. And the amazing way Allah provides them with the resources to overcome their challenges.

Every challenge is a test--and we aren't tested unless we have what we need to pass the test. Knowing that, and knowing that with every difficulty comes ease (Surat Ash-Sharh.) I read this chapter to a Sunday school class one time, and I read it to myself pretty often as well.

So even though I can't solve anyone's problems, and often don't even have much in the way of advice to give, what I can (and should) tell new Muslims is that they can always turn to Allaah, and that they should always turn to Allaah, and He is the One who will ease their difficulty and reward their patience in dealing with it.

Calling on Allah

I figured I would start the Compass class by talking about du'a. With agreement that Salah is the most important thing to teach new Muslims, I decided to first explain the concept of du'a, of calling on Allah. Essentially salah is both du'a and istighfar, a means of cultivating one's relationship with Allah. Our relationship with Allah is that of slaves and master--we worship Allah. And the very essence of worship is du'a.

We should understand that our salah is a way of calling on Allah, and that we can call on Him anytime we want--and really, the more the better. Just making requests of Allah implies and fosters our belief and reliance on Him alone. Asking Him means we recognize His Hearing, His Knowledge and Power, while also acknowledging our powerlessness. So it seems that du'a is a fitting place to start.

We can call on Allah whenever we want, and know that He hears us.

And when My servants ask you, [O Muhammad], concerning Me - indeed I am near. I respond to the invocation of the supplicant when he calls upon Me. So let them respond to Me [by obedience] and believe in Me that they may be [rightly] guided.

Moreover, we have the benefit of Allah's response to our supplications. Firstly we might get the thing we are asking for. But if not, if Allah withholds it from us, then instead He may protect us from some other hardship we might have to face, or else it will become a reward for us on the Day of Judgment. So there's no reason not to make du'a--it's a win-win-win scenario.

But in case a person's du'a is not accepted, there may be a sin from which the person has not repented. In which case, the solution is to repent. Repentance is a topic on its own, but briefly this means the person should acknowledge the incorrect or sinful behavior in which he is or was engaged in, and correct it, ask forgiveness from Allah for it, and abstain from it in the future.

There is also an amazing story from the time of Moses and the Children of Israel. While they were wandering in the desert and suffering from a drought, Moses prayed to Allah for rain. But instead of rain it only got hotter and dryer. And then Allah revealed to Moses that one man among the Children of Israel had been sinning against Allah for some 40 years, so Moses was instructed to have that man leave the group before Allah would bring the rain.

So Moses went to the people and explained--he didn't know who the man was, but asked that the man, whoever he was, would leave. But imagine if you were that man? You knew your sins but nobody else around you knew. How hard would it be then to expose yourself? But yet if you didn't, then you and everyone else might die of thirst. And he recognized that all this time Allah had covered his sins. So he prayed, sincerely, to Allah for forgiveness and for Allah to continue to cover his sins. And then it started to rain.

But Moses asked Allah why the rain was coming even though the sinful man had not left. And Allah revealed that the same man had repented of his sins so Allah had allowed the rain for all of the people. Then Moses wanted to know who the man was, because of whom all of the Children of Israel had been first deprived of and then blessed with rain. But Allah refused, telling Moses that He had hid the man's sins for 40 years, so would He now expose them after repentance?

It's such a beautiful story and filled with loads of reminders for us today. That no matter how long we have sinned, Allah still accepts repentance. That our sins might not just be affecting us, and that if we find our prayers not being answered, perhaps we should try to correct ourselves and ask for forgiveness. And remember that we may call on Allah at any time for any need, and we should. It confirms and strengthens our belief in Allah and as an act of worship it can nurture our relationship with Him. And once we understand that, we can discuss salah with an appreciation of it as an act of submission and worship and so much more than a simple ritual.

There is much more that can be said about du'a--be patient for the result instead of hastily anticipating it, or declaring that Allah didn't answer; the best times to make du'a are after performing a good deed, like after salah or before breaking one's fast. The last third part of the night is also a great time to make du'a, as is while one is in salah during the prostration. Moreover, there are some etiquettes about making du'a in the first place which I think I will not include in this part of the class. Mostly, I don't have very much time, and I also don't want students to feel bogged down in "rules" when it comes to du'a. Is there something I'm omitting but I should include? Please let me know!

Married Life

As soon as I got married, people started asking me all the time "How's married life?" as if I might have some cute quip about it. I never did have a good answer, but now I've had some time to think about it, at least. In the CD set 'Fiqh of Love,' Sh. Yaser Birjas mentioned how silly of a question this is to ask someone newly married. But as I said--I've had a little bit of time to think.

My married life--maybe not anyone else's, but mine--is fun.

It's been fun getting to learn more about Pakistani culture, as well. And I have nothing but praise for the women I've met here among the wives of my husband's friends. They've been very welcoming, considering that I don't speak their first language, know very little about their culture, and come from a completely different country. So I've had the opportunity to attend many weekly dinner parties--a new experience for me--and even a cook-out.

I never really had any experience going to dinner parties growing up, and even after Islam they were mostly with just single women, so the segregation in dinner parties was new. I'm sure that for Muslims who have grown up seeing adults segregation naturally it's not weird at all. For me it was just a little bit of adjustment, though I'm not sure it bothered me as much as it might some people (example).

The segregation makes things a little bit more complicated--you need an extra set of serving dishes, and there's never enough chairs, not to mention communication (we need more rice) barriers and who's going to ferry the food back and forth. For us it also meant hanging curtains in hallways so men couldn't see the women as they came in.

But I'll say that even though American apartments don't necessarily make it easy, I think desis have this concept right about segregation at dinner parties, keeping the men and women in completely different rooms. I don't think it's necessarily right for all gatherings (especially classes in the masjid, committee meetings, khutbahs and the like) but for a purely social engagement, what need is there that men and women be sitting and talking with each other?

I'll admit that at first it was awkward to be in social situations with complete strangers--since my husband wasn't around--but I got along, met new people, and now I am comfortable with them and they're not strangers any more. And, if I'm going to a dinner party to socialize, why would I want to socialize with my husband (who I see at home?) And there's no way I really want to socialize with the other men.

So I'm coming around to view it as the best, even though the first few times I was pretty chicken, not having my husband there to hold my hand. But now, thankfully, I'm over that stage (most of the time) and have a pleasant time visiting with some new friends--very kind, welcoming, hospitable people.

Compass: A Guide For New Muslims

After finding and choosing Islam, many new Muslims are left with a community ill-equipped to help them fully embrace their new faith. Instructions following their shahadah might include tips on where to buy halal meat, or how to tie a hijab, which to the giver might seem like practical advice.

But stepping into the world of Islam can be overwhelming, with questions arising at every turn. These questions--from simple things like how to pray, to more complex issues about marriage and Islamic law--need answers, and explanations. To a new Muslim, even a simple khutbah (Friday sermon) might be misunderstood without the ability to recognize common Arabic words. Imagine someone mistaking "Rasoolullah" for "Allah," and the implications of that mistake.

Some communities of Muslims might have ongoing organized programs to accommodate new Muslims, by educating them in the religion and providing social resources, while others might have a loose social network that new Muslims might find shy to penetrate. When I was a new Muslim, I really wanted to be able to learn as much about the religion as I could--scattered bits of information were difficult to put together. I've seen other converts struggle with similar problems, and without having access to a basic guide about Islam to launch them towards their goals, and prepare them for the challenges they might face as a Muslim.

So I've given thought to the idea of classes specifically for new Muslims, or at least geared primarily towards new Muslims, and am hoping to implement one such class here locally in the coming months. I have some other ideas about providing resources for new Muslims, particularly in conjunction with the planned class--including a blog devoted to the project, podcasts, and maybe even a mobile app. Right now the project, which is going to be called Compass (logo above), is just getting started. But for now and in the future, helpful ideas and guidance from others who are approaching similar issues will be invaluable.

I have high hopes for this project--that inshaaAllaah it can continuously benefit new Muslims across the country, available as a resource and a path to help them understand and implement Islam.

Learning to Read

It can be intimidating for a new Muslim to be told that the Qur'an has to be read in Arabic when he or she can't make heads or tails of the Arabic script in the first place. So learning not just letters but pronunciation, grammar, vocabulary seems a daunting task.

But if I may say so, it is one of the more rewarding endeavors in which a person can dedicate his time. And in actuality, it's not as difficult as it might seem at the start. In fact, throughout the Qur'an, Allah describes Arabic and the Qur'an as easy.

So, [O Muhammad], We have only made Qur'an easy in the Arabic language that you may give good tidings thereby to the righteous and warn thereby a hostile people. 19:97

Verily, We have made this (Qur'an) easy, in thy tongue, in order that they may give heed. 44:58

54:17, 22, 32, 40 And We have certainly made the Qur'an easy for remembrance, so is there any who will remember? 54:17, 22, 32, and 40

So before we start complaining about it being hard, we should remember that Allah, the Lord of the Worlds, is making it easy for us. Making it easy to learn to read Arabic, to speak it, and to understand it in the Qur'an.

Now, for some people the motivation for learning Arabic is more to learn spoken Arabic--perhaps to communicate with Arab Muslims, maybe new family members. In that case, I can't promise it will be as easy, but the person whose intention is solely for the sake of Allah, to learn the Qur'an, I know will have the help of Allah.

I think it's sad that to see Muslim who have had years of opportunities to learn and still haven't made any progress regarding the Arabic language. Do they know the blessings they are missing out on, that they can't even read the Qur'an in the original Arabic?

Moreover, I know many converts struggle in trying to memorize the Qur'an, and we know from a hadith that Allah will reward their struggle. But for years to go by having memorized only one or two surahs? Is it necessary to spend hours listening to audio over and over and over to try to pick up the sounds? For anyone who wants to start memorizing more Qur'an, I would say they should focus their energy on learning to read Arabic. I can say from my own experience that memorizing became much faster, easier, and fulfilling, once I could read the Arabic. Sounds became words, words became phrases and phrases took on meaning. Being able to read the Qur'an in Arabic while trying to memorize can only facilitate memorization.

So I have come to the opinion that one essential component of any program for helping new Muslims must be helping them to learn the Arabic language--not for speaking, not for conversation, but to start reading the Qur'an. And the minimum responsibility should be to teach them the letters--recognition and pronunciation--and proper recitation of the Qur'an.

A class for new Muslims to teach Arabic, starting with letters, should actively involve the students--reading writing words as soon as they know the relevant letters. Seeing letters on a board or in a book is not enough to learn them. Worksheets, tests and quizzes are good motivational tools to keep the students practicing the letters consistently. Consistency is the only way to make it stick--constant use.

For students trying to learn the Arabic alphabet, flashcards are an exceptionally useful tool. Correcting the pronunciation requires a teacher with a good ear and lots of practice. The articulation of some letters is an acquired skill--children can learn easily, but with dedication adults can become equally proficient and should not be deterred because a letter is difficult or not present in their native language.

But a person cannot stop their Arabic after learning the letters--they must progress immediately to learning tajweed. This is to correct and improve their articulation, and to help them begin in reciting Qur'an. When able to actually read and recite the Qur'an, even if only for barakah (without understanding), a person is at least establishing a connection with the Qur'an, and is consistently practicing the Arabic already learnt. This "practice" keeps the knowledge (of the alphabet, articulation, tajweed, etc.) in the front of a person's mind, building a skill that will undoubtedly brighten his or her heart and mind. It is a skill that opens up the Qur'an, and opens the heart to the Qur'an.

So I would suggest for new Muslims who haven't started learning any Arabic yet, to make it a priority. And for anyone involved in educational programs for new Muslims to incorporate some Arabic into those programs to help our communities build and strengthen their relationship with the Qur'an.

Should Women Attend Mosques?

Yes. And I'll explain why.

Having lately moved to a new Muslim community, the subject of women in mosques has been giving me some thought. My recent post, A Mosque for Women Too, brought up a few of the issues on my mind, especially after reading another article discussing one facet of the problem, behavior and treatment of women in mosques, examining a cause and effect relationship. (I.e., the treatment resulting in the behavior.)

But lately it seems I have taken for granted the obvious reasons for women to be at the mosque in the first place. Or, in other words, it seems other people take for granted the need and benefit to involving women in mosques, and are oblivious to the damage resulting from their absence.

Allow me one disclaimer: I am not referring herein to societies in Muslim-majority countries, where a Muslimah is likely surrounded by other Muslims and Islamic resources. I'm more specifically discussing the situation occurring in Western non-Muslim countries, like the USA.

Inside our communities, there are basically four categories of women who I say should be attending mosques, either because they can directly benefit from attending, can provide benefit others, or might get lost in the unIslamic dunya. Moreover, the involvement that various women need might fulfill educational, social, financial, or emotional needs, but I think every woman has educational and social needs the mosque should meet.

Among the women, the categories I mentioned are as follows:

1. Non-Muslim women
2. Muslim women who practice a little or none at all
3. Practicing Muslim women with some knowledge and some weaknesses in practice
4. Muslim women who are strong in knowledge and practice

1. Non-Muslim Women

Firstly, I start with non-Muslim women, and make that a category, because it is not a rare occurrence for a non-Muslim woman to visit a mosque seeking information about Islam because she is considering embracing the faith of Islam. There are other reasons non-Muslims visit mosques, like school projects and to interview Muslimahs, but perhaps the most pivotal visits are for those women who are considering embracing Islam. Because she is considering becoming a Muslim, she'll want to ask questions and make observations, so is looking for both education and social interaction with Muslim women. These integral steps help her seek more information about Islam to determine whether she is being guided to convert.

Having spoken to many women in that position, and having been there myself, I know how critical this stage is. What if the woman finds no women at the mosque to help her? What if she is turned away, or even insulted by the men who are there? Do you think she is likely to ever return?

A couple weeks ago a woman visited a local mosque around the time for Friday prayers--she didn't know where to find any women, where to go, how to dress, whom she could speak to or what to say. She found brothers who were willing only to take her number to pass on to some sister who could follow-up later. A precious opportunity could have been lost! Alhamdulillah, this woman encountered another Muslimah while she was leaving, who invited her inside to listen to the khutbah and observe the prayers, and who continued the da'wah with her from that point on. Had that not been the case, the woman might have been turned off of Islam forever, and disinterested when she finally got a phone call or email. And the only reason this woman was able to meet that Muslimah in the first place is because women were allowed to come to the mosque, and had a place (though not ideal) to listen to the khutbah and pray.

The mosque is a should be a central pillar of the community, and a key location where someone considering Islam should feel safe to visit, either to observe, meet Muslims, or have their questions answered. If the prospective convert is a woman, she will need other women to talk to, and there should be classes and social events, not to mention regular services, which women can and do attend. These are the needs of a non-Muslim woman at the mosque.

2. Non-Observant Muslimahs

In addition to being open to non-Muslims, the mosque should be a welcoming place for Muslims who are not yet knowledgeable or observant in the practice of Islam. Suppose a young Muslim woman, who has been spending her weekends going to bars and partying, takes a step to improve her spiritual condition by and deciding to forego the club, and visit the mosque instead. In her mind she is doing a righteous thing--visiting the mosque--though she might not know the expectations regarding her dress and behavior while she is there. What would be said to a young Muslim woman walking into the front door of a mosque, dressed like she is going to a party? She might find someone yelling in her face, directing her to leave immediately.

Even though she came to the mosque looking for guidance, for help from the Muslims, she was rebuked, probably insulted, and essentially kicked out. She is looking for more knowledge about Islam to get on the right path, and to make friends with Muslimahs who can help her in practicing Islam, as her old friends were steering her astray. She had two primary needs, educational and social, for which she visited the mosque, assuming it to be the natural place to fulfill these needs. And if she is turned away, where will she go? More than likely, she'll be going back to the bar without any interest in returning to the mosque, and with less guilt about her behavior, thanks to how she was treated.

3. Observant Muslimahs

The third case pertains to women who might have once been in a previous category, but who now, maashaaAllaah, are learning about Islam and practicing what they learn. They already have some Muslim friends who they can socialize with, so do they still need to go to the mosque for social interaction? They already know the basics about Islam, so do they still need to go to the mosque for education? The answer in both cases is yes, and doing so will strengthen their connection to the mosque and to the Muslim community. They should be trying to constantly improve themselves in knowledge, and develop ongoing relationships with other Muslimahs in the community, offering support when needed.

The Qur'an is not silent on the importance of seeking knowledge:

Is one who is devoutly obedient during periods of the night, prostrating and standing [in prayer], fearing the Hereafter and hoping for the mercy of his Lord, [like one who does not]? Say, "Are those who know equal to those who do not know?" Only they will remember [who are] people of understanding. [39:9]

And among people and moving creatures and grazing livestock are various colors similarly. Only those fear Allah , from among His servants, who have knowledge. Indeed, Allah is Exalted in Might and Forgiving. [35:28]

In fact, if a person is struggling with weakness in iman, a common prescription is that they should increase their knowledge, and with knowledge comes taqwa. A person cannot simply arrive at a level of knowledge and assume that it is sufficient for the rest of their lives--rather, we should all spend our lives trying to improve ourselves. Women have even fewer opportunities to go study Islam full-time than men do, but the best option for them is ongoing education through classes and halaqaat with local 'ulama--and where else should these take place but in the House of Allah, the masjid? So the mosque should serve as a school and a source for the women to learn more about Islam even as their lives are busy with other responsibilities.

As for the social aspect, these women should still try to socialize with other Muslimahs on a regular basis, learning from those better than them, and helping those who are not. In particular, it is important for these women to form a connection with the mosque to cement their connection with Islam, and to protect them against diversions. While it is possible to socialize at places other than the mosque, meeting at the mosque strengthens the bonds of the community, establishing the mosque as a pillar of the community, uniting rather than dividing it.

4. Knowledgeable & Observant Muslimahs

The last category of women are those who have been blessed with knowledge and iman. Maybe classes at the mosque have little to offer them in the way of fresh knowledge--but at least they can be a reminder. But the greater reason women in this category need to attend the mosques is in the benefits they can offer to their sisters, as a good example. They can perhaps teach or just lead with their actions, and they can offer support to other Muslimahs. In this way, a community is not left with the blind leading the blind. With her knowledge, a woman becomes responsible for helping others (by teaching, volunteering, etc.), and doing so also benefits herself, by improving her own knowledge and as she does righteous actions which will benefit her in the Hereafter.

Children and the Mosques

After talking about the immediate reasons why women should attend mosques, it's important to mention children as well. I constantly hear Muslims wondering why their "youth" are not attached to the mosque--is it any wonder when they and their mothers, the people most directly responsible for raising them, are not welcome at the mosque in the first place?

If women are not attending mosques, then it stands to reason that children won't be attending either, at any age. That is, unless or until they begin going with their father. And in that case, if women are not welcome, it's likely that sons will benefit from the mosques but any daughters will be left behind with no incentive to attend. And if a girl doesn't attend as a child, why would she start attending as an adult?

On the other hand, if a child's mother does attend the mosque--for any reason--it offers him (or her, as I am talking about boys and girls here) an opportunity to socialize with other young Muslims, forging bonds with Muslims that will serve him as he ages. He also has the opportunity to observe how adult Muslims behave, to learn the etiquette of the mosque (more), to learn respect for the salah and the reading of Qur'an. And if children are coming to the mosque, it's likely their parents will try to have classes established for them to learn the Qur'an, Arabic, and Islamic studies with other children their age.

So with a mother attending the mosque, her children are already getting a foundation in Islam, and making a connection with the mosque that will support them throughout their lives. Because children grow up to be the men and women of our communities in years to come, we can't ignore them when they are young, unless we want them to ignore us in their maturity.

In this way, women's presence at mosques benefits not only themselves but the entire community, while their absence harms not just themselves but also the entire community. It is not sufficient, especially in Western non-Muslim societies, for women to seclude themselves from society in general, content to let others speak for them. That French people want to ban face veils, thinking that Muslim women are forced to wear them (rather than that they choose to do so) shows what can happen when Muslim women are silent and not active in their larger communities. And how can we as Muslims expect an entire nation to listen to a voice that is not heard, not even present in the mosques? If women are kept out of the mosques, kept from learning about Islam, then they are kept silent, and have no recourse against the oppression which will inevitably befall them.