Ramadan Confusion

Want to be confused? Read different fiqh opinions regarding Ramadan. It will just blow your mind.

After being volunteered to talk about the fiqh of Ramadan at an upcoming workshop (in addition to just Eid), I've spent a lot of time over the last week reading different fiqh opinions on Ramadan, and am terrified of presenting this weekend, and unsatisfied with the ability of Shaykh Google to clarify matters.

So what is confusing?

The time to start fasting--at fajr, is obvious. But should you start 10 minutes before "to be safe?" Some say yes, some say no. Can you finish eating or must you spit it out if fajr time comes with food in your mouth? I've heard both.

What should pregnant and nursing women do if they break the fast for fear for themselves or the baby? Make it up? Pay a ransom? Both? All opinions exist.

What about injections? Definitely yes because it introduces something to the body? Definitely no because it's not a normal way of eating food? Yes if intravenous but no if intramuscular? Yep, heard all of those too.

What if you accidentally eat or swallow something, though you knew you were fasting? (I.e., you didn't forget.) One school has the opinion that even accidental swallowing can break your fast, while others disagree.

And I guess what bothers me the most about these is that the stricter opinions tend to not make any sense, but just seem like they exist "to be on the safe side." But it just makes things seem so complicated. In reading these opinions, though, it seems like they all sort of bash the other opinions, insisting that they are wrong, or even "bid'ah" (innovation.) So what if people as me questions about these subjects? "Go ask a scholar, and Allah knows best."

Top Question

A few days ago my fiance asked me what question I am most frequently asked about when I talk about Islam. And after answering, I thought it might make a good blog post.

Without a doubt, the number one question people ask me whether I'm in a booth, giving a presentation on Islam, or speaking about Islam in just about any capacity, is how my family took my conversion. It's rare I get away from a presentation without someone asking me about my family.

And at the same time, it's the question I am most reluctant to answer. It's probably really interesting, but on the other hand, it doesn't include the nicest things to say about my family. And out of respect to them, it doesn't seem correct to discuss in public whatever issues we might have had. The people who know me well, and who knew me several years ago, might know the extent to which my conflict with my family has upset me personally, and might also know that some of it is my own fault. So the question has a complicated answer, and one that can't be quickly glossed over in 1-2 minutes during a presentation.

I wonder how other converts feel discussing their families. And I wonder why almost every audience I speak to wants to know about my family. And also, how do other converts discuss their relationship with their families after their conversion?

Responsibility of Da'wah

In my last post, I mentioned that I had lost an opportunity to give da'wah, when I was seemingly mistaken for an Orthodox Christian woman from Russia. In hindsight, I think about how I should have told him that I was a Muslim, and taken the opportunity to mention something about Islam. And I didn't do that.

That made me remember something I learned at the Shepherd's Path seminar I attended in Maryland. The shaykh told us that the early companions of the Prophet (saws) all felt the responsibility of giving da'wah, the responsibility of working for Islam.

In my time as a Muslim, as I've tried to learn Islam and practice it the best i can, I've heard people comment that converts to Islam seem like "better" Muslims than those born Muslim. I don't really think it's true, but it is interesting that converts to Islam take such an active role in working for Islam that people even have this impression (assuming it's not true, but even if it is, how much more interesting?)

Just this past Friday, I heard the khateeb mention that something like 70% of converts to Islam learned Islam because of another convert. I don't know the source of that statistic, but it just seems even more interesting to me, showing that converts are taking such an active role in spreading Islam.

The analogy that comes to my mind then is that the early Companions, who had to embrace Islam from their previous practices, took up this responsibility of working for Islam. But so many generations later, that feeling of responsibility has dwindled--but so has knowledge about Islam, in the first place.

When a person decides to convert to Islam, in many cases that person has spent a long time studying the religion and deciding whether or not it makes sense, and whether he believes in it. And when he embraces the religion he is accepting its teachings, willfully. Maybe it's true that many people raised in the religion never learn the teachings of Islam, and never make a conscious decision to accept those teachings--so of course they don't feel any responsibility to spread them, or sometimes even adhere to them.

So maybe, if we want to raise a generation that is willing to take up the responsibility of working for Islam, then knowledge is the key?

Dhikr Station

For last Eid al-Fitr, someone gifted me a CD set of an "in-depth study" of Al-Fatihah, by Jamaaluddin Zarabozo. I've recently started listening to it--but I haven't yet gotten past the first CD. Actually, it was a while before I even got past the first track--the introduction!

Because after introducing what the CD set is and the publisher, etc., there is a recitation of the surah that is just so clear and beautiful, I didn't want it to stop. I listened to it over and over and over and over and over...

Isn't that strange? I mean, we read al-Fatihah so many times in a day--and in Ramadan so many more times. And yet in the last couple days I haven't been able to get enough of just hearing the recitation of Al-Fatihah. As soon as it starts, I can just feel myself calming down, and my mind clearing and focusing on the recitation with all of my attention.

After all these years of listening to Al-Fatihah, every day, I felt like all of a sudden I had never heard it before. And this is not after listening to some 25+ hours of lecture on the surah, but rather before listening; rather, just acknowledging that Al-Fatihah is important enough for me to begin a CD set of such magnitude on such a short surah.

It was really an amazing feeling, to have some recitation of Qur'an strike my heart that way--like I had never heard it before even though I thought I knew it like the back of my hand.

I had listened to it so many times that without even being entirely aware of it, I was sort of reciting it under my breath while at the gas station last night. So consumed was I with the beauty and flow of the words that I didn't realize the woman at the pump beside me. So I was a little bit shocked when she said "As-salaamu Alaykum!"

Having learned in class just hours before that we should always return a greeting with what is equal to it, or better than it, so I replied with a smile, "Wa alaykum as-salaam!" And I asked her if she was a Muslim--since I have been greeted as such by non-Muslims before, but she informed me that she was a Muslim though reluctantly admitted that she did not practice like she should.

So we talked for a minute about how beautiful Islam is as a middle path--comprising both outward manifestations through the law, and inward aspects of spirituality, and that it accommodates people of all nations and races and even with physical disabilities.

It was just a reminder to me to be grateful not just that Allah has guided me to Islam but that He has made Islam a part of my life, every day. So even while I was whispering al-Fatihah under my breath, I was blessed to remember that Allah did guide me. And that only makes me cling desperately to that guidance, and to beg for more.

Seerah vs. the Superbowl

It is with a strange sort of pride that I admit to not discovering until 8:30pm Sunday night who was actually playing in the Superbowl. It didn't much matter to me, since I had no intention of engaging in any sort of Superbowl festivities. You see, I had intended to spend the day at the masjid.

First I had my 9th grade Sunday school class, just after noon, followed by dhuhr salaat, which was then followed by a class aptly named Essentials of Islam. It's a class designed to help Muslims who feel their basic knowledge of Islam is insufficient--new Muslims, or those who wish to start taking their deen more seriously, those who never had the benefit of Sunday school, or else forgot what they learned. So I sat in on that class today to offer help as needed, and then after 'asr salaat and a break to eat I went back to the masjid for maghrib and another class on the seerah (biography of Muhammad) which was of course followed by isha salaat.

So I got to pray four out of five prayers today in the masjid. (That's a nice feeling!)

But here is something interesting. After praying maghrib I went up to the classroom, where the girl students started to gather. We'd nearly filled up our space when the shaykh arrived. Then we started to wonder if any brothers were coming! Because up to that point, none had showed up. Then only one walked in with the shaykh. Today was the first session of this class, and we sisters sitting there began to wonder if the boys had ditched in order to watch the superbowl.

Did they? Did they choose to watch a game of football instead of taking this opportunity to learn about the life of Muhammad (saaws) with our beloved shaykh?

Nope!

After just a few more moments, they all filed in collectively, filling up their space as well, and getting out even more chairs. May Allah forgive us for our mistakes and for our sins, protect us from the Shaytaan, and increase us all in knowledge.

The Smell and Taste of Knowledge

Have you ever caught a whiff of something that smelled really tasty? Maybe walking down the mall past a Cinnabon store, or early in the morning while your mom cooks breakfast? Maybe a coworker's lunch while you're fasting? It can be frustrating at times, to be able to smell something you know you can't taste, especially when it smells so delicious that it makes your mouth start to water.

A few weeks ago I asked a person of some knowledge a question about Arabic grammar--and to be quite honest, I didn't understand his answer. I felt like I could smell it but not taste it. I kind of knew what it would take to try to understand it--I vaguely remembered hearing the terms before, although I couldn't quit reconstruct their meanings in order, in step with his explanation. But I did really want to understand. I felt like it was right there in front of me and I just couldn't grasp it. Like some sweet-smelling food that I just couldn't taste.

I think many Muslims are this way--that their experience with knowledge is only at that level where they are exposed to it. They can smell it, for instance, and get the gist of what it's about, but they don't really comprehend it. They can't taste it, chew it, and digest it--so they aren't able to really benefit from it.

But the more knowledge a person acquires, the more he is able to grasp. I've heard an example, about a book describing chess strategies were given to two groups of people, one being expert chess players, the others not knowing anything about chess. Now you might think that the second group, which has the most to learn regarding chess, would benefit the most. But really, it's the expert chess players who benefit most because they are able to understand what the book is talking about and apply the strategies described therein. Whereas the novices had no background to help them understand the material in the first place.

So when people take the path to acquire knowledge (and here I mean specifically knowledge about Islam), they start filling in the gaps little by little, and when they are presented with something new they can do more than just smell it. They can taste it. And they can chew it--by chew it, I mean they can think it over, ponder and reflect on what they have just been exposed to. And then they can digest it--and by digest it, I mean that they can take that knowledge and benefit from it, the same way that food nourishes the body. So they aren't just smelling it, they are actually able to benefit from it.

On the other hand, I think the average Muslim who goes to Jumu'ah khutbahs, and goes to conferences and seminars, really only gets to smell the knowledge. He can tell it's there, and he can appreciate it at a somewhat superficial level--and it can either attract him or repel him.

And then there are some people who have a little more knowledge who are able to taste it--and sometimes, you know what? I think they spit it out, and decide they don't want to benefit from it. And sometimes they will take it and reflect on it. They will consider it from all possible angles and perspectives, and try to grasp the fullest possible meaning of it. And then it can nourish them, spiritually, as they are able to completely digest and benefit from it.

So I could smell that knowledge, the answer to that Arabic grammar question. And I really want to taste it, instead! I want to reflect on it, and I want to benefit from it.

Oh my Lord, increase me in knowledge! And oh my Lord, let it benefit me.

Arabic Pronouns

I came across this neat blog today, which was recommended to me by Google Reader. How did he know I'm trying to learn Arabic? Anyway, the blog has a cool image of a hand with the Arabic pronouns on them so you can learn them (if you don't know them.)

I remember when I was taking the Bayyinah 201 (Arabic Grammar) class with Br. Nouman, we had to learn these pronouns. And alhamdulillah, much of what I actually learned in that class I can still remember and grasp when reading Qur'an--including pronouns.

One exercise we did in the class to learn the pronouns was that the brother would recite the Arabic pronoun (for instance, "huwa") and the class would recite the meaning (in this case, "he.") Now mostly the class was Desis and some African-Americans but mostly Desis. I mean, why should Arabs need to take a class in Arabic grammar? So if you can imagine listening to a class full of desis following along after the instructor like this:

Huwa-->He

Huma-->Those 2

Hum-->Them

Heya-->She

Huma-->Those 2

Hunna-->Those women

Anta-->You (m)

Antuma-->You 2

Antum-->Y'all

...

Welcome to North Carolina. :-)

Dealing with People

I think that everybody should read How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.

Especially Muslims... in particular, those Muslims who want to give da'wah. The best of people who called to Islam didn't need a book like this--and if we follow his example (saws) then we wouldn't need it either. But it's my view at least that this book can help people (like us) understand better ways of dealing with other people.

Even though its title, How to Win Friends, sounds sinister and deceitful, like you're trying to get something out of another person, the book seems to me more about good manners and etiquette than sales. (And I do hate to compare da'wah to sales.)

You see, one problem the Muslims seem to have today is that they tend to offend and arouse resentment in other people whenever they talk about Islam. Maybe they are berating in public (rule: always let the other person save face,) or shouting "Haraam, Haraam!" (rule: don't criticize) , or never owning up to their mistakes (rule: admit your wrongs quickly & emphatically.)

So I see the book as being incredibly useful in trying to deal with other Muslims and non-Muslims. And I mean useful when organizing events, on committees, in dialogues or debates, when trying to encourage someone to adopt a religious practice (e.g., prayer, hijab), or abandon something that is forbidden (e.g., alcohol, interest), and not just in standard da'wah.

Some of the tips in the book (you can view a summarized list of them here: Summary) struck me as being especially relevant in giving da'wah, so I want to post about them. One brother I know even recommended this book as part of a da'wah training program, at the first or second level, as he thought it was important enough for anyone calling to Islam to understand these techniques in dealing with people.

No Posts in a Week? What!?

My bad...

Seriously though, I have been busy. Doing what, you might ask? Well, it's a good question. I did have a test this week (and after recently re-discovering the joy of getting A's on tests I wanted to actually study.) I also had a little bit of homework to catch up on, something neat in my Microwave Engineering class called a "Smith Chart." That's what the funny looking circle chart thing is at the top of this post.

In fact, it's so neat what you can do with this nifty little chart. And even though the engineers use language that might make you think it's complicated (like "impedance matching" and "shunt inductance") it's really such a neat tool that in all my years of studying engineering, I'm still kind of marvelling at the simplicity of it. You get to use it by printing off a chart like that (takes up the whole page) and drawing even more circles on it with a compass.

But school wasn't my main concern this week--I was part of a team that was giving presentations to some freshman college students visiting the mosque. The entire freshman class has to take this particular course, and so we get about 250-300 girls each semester, about 1/3 each night over three nights. So this week, we hosted them on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday evenings.

We start with an overview about Islam based on a presentation we have created, which is supposed to take 30 minutes or less. They have to read about Islam beforehand so the presentation is less a descriptive study of Islam, and more a normative one, talking about what Muslims believe about Allah and the Qur'an for example. And then we usually have a sister who has converted tell her story about becoming Muslim. (That was my role this week, each night.) And then they will observe the prayer with a brief explanation about the importance of prayer in Islam, and answer their questions.

It's always fun to see the different questions they might have, and giving the presentations back-to-back helps us figure out what we could do better and what is very ineffective. One of the most interesting remarks that I've heard from the students though is that after listening they found that most of the stereotypes they had about Muslims were dispelled--even though we actually spent very little time battling misconceptions compared to just presenting Islam as straightforwardly as possible.

The end of summer

My summer officially ended today, as I returned to school for what I truly hope is my second-to-last semester. I've resolved to strive harder in school this semester than I have in the past--something that I think I can do since a number of burdens have been lifted from my shoulders.

But as I look back over the last couple of months, I realize that it has been a wild ride. It has snagged me in a few places, and I stopped to lick my wounds--wounds that are now turning in to scars, some larger than others. So I just wanted to share my thoughts and reflections as I look back.

I decided in the spring that I would not be taking any classes over the summer. I knew that meant that I would have to forego any chance of graduating in the fall. If I had taken summer school, it would have been possible, but I was burnt out on many levels. My attitude towards school had become largely apathetic, and my participation in class about as low as you can imagine. But aside from school I was still working and organizing things for the masjid, and delivering presentations for school groups at the masjid and elsewhere. Another reason I opted out of summer school was simply that I couldn't afford it. But I really needed a break--and I didn't even realize how much I needed it.

But once school finished I started working full time, 40 hours a week. And that was light! My work never came home with me, I never had deadlines for projects hanging over my head, no tests to study for, no homework assignments, or anything like that. And with that, when I came home from work I could easily tend to things that during school often got little attention--like dirty dishes, piles of laundry, and a dusty bookcase.

Since the masjid was offering a variety of classes on weeknights after maghrib, I made a point to start attending them. Going every night turned out to be too much for me, and eventually I was only going to one class in the week. But alhamdulillah, I haven't missed a single session of that class (except for when it was cancelled), and by sticking through it I've been able to get some really valuable notes that I've posted on my blog!

I also volunteered to help the Youth program, which had a schedule organized for middle and high school with different activities on Friday nights. I took over the "education" portion and prepared some videos to show them. That ended up falling through in about a month, since truly the communication was just sub par, with the girls not knowing where/when their activities were held and ultimately not showing up at all.

And there has been the tajweed course, which was really just amazing alhamdulillah. Br. Wisam Sharieff from the Bayyinah Institute came to Raleigh in June to teach a tajweed course, and alhamdulillah I've been able to continue taking the followups ever since. In the course he basically taught all the rules of tajweed, and in the followups we practice, learning a new surah from the 30th Juz each week, and reviewing the rules in that surah and reciting to an instructor. I really feel that taking this class has helped improve my relationship with the Qur'an--and it should, since now I'm reading Qur'an much much much more often, and much more easily.

There have also been some unhappy times this summer. When my roommate got married and I became temporarily homeless, and then my own engagement was broken off. These two overlapping circumstances made my life incredibly difficult for a little while, but alhamdulillah--with difficulty comes ease. I moved and now am relatively comfortably settled in my new place, and Allah SWT has brought someone else into my life to help heal my wounds.

I have since embarked on a fitness plan that so far has helped me lose an astonishing 14 pounds, and I purchased a bicycle that, though exhausting, makes me truly happy to ride. So alhamdulillah for everything. The summer is over and life moves on. And now I'm back in school trying to reacquaint myself with the concept of homework!

Free Publicity

Well, I had meant to post this a few days ago as it was developing but now it's really picking up speed, I've noticed. You might notice a link on my blog to the 'Whyislam.org Forum' where I frequently post (and occasionally function in an admin role), which is basically a discussion board to talk about Islam, geared towards non-Muslims who might have questions.

My own decision to embrace Islam came after talking to volunteers on the whyislam.org forum, so I have a lot of respect for those who post there and operate that forum. I think it's a great organization, operated by knowledgeable and sincere volunteers who are trying to earn the pleasure of Allah SWT. So I was pretty excited when I got an email asking me to donate to a new Whyislam project--subway ads! I thought it was a neat campaign and told a few of my friends about it.

A few days later I heard that the New York Post had run an article (Training Day for Jihadists, it said!) attacking the campaign, the ads, the organization, and even Imam Siraj Wahhaj who had tried to drum up support for the project! They tried to smear the campaign with associations to terrorism. But if you read the article, you'll notice that they of course give the phone number and website to which the ad directs! So basically... directing more people to the whyislam volunteers!

That New York Post article caused other news outlets to take notice, like this one at FOX, where you even get to see the ad (including the direction to the whyislam hotline and website), this one from NBC, and even these two at CNN!Why do they even have a story? Because they are linking the ads with who they call a "controversial imam" Siraj Wahhaj. Anyone who is even remotely familiar with Imam Siraj Wahhaj knows better, that this is a man who has tried his hardest to improve the conditions of American Muslims. For such a respected persona to have his reputation tarnished is troubling, yes.

However, please stop to consider the following. Because Imam Siraj Wahhaj promoted the campaign, the media was able to pick up on him and develop a story in an attempt to smear the entire ad campaign. But in fact, all they have done is provide free publicity for a campaign that is still trying to raise money to sponsor subway ads!

How many more Muslims are now aware of the campaign thanks to the media coverage, and likely to donate? How many more Non-Muslims have now been exposed to the campaign that will visit the whyislam website and hotline to learn about Islam! While the whyislam volunteers were still struggling to reach their subway audience, Allah SWT spread their message across the country!! This is really a blessing--and it goes to show that Allah is going to help those who are sincere in their da'wah.

If you want to learn more about the subway project, to donate, and to see the ads, you can visit its website at http://www.youdeservetoknow.org/

Revisiting Sympathy

About a month ago I made a post about the decision of the local Islamic school to exclude the Diary of Anne Frank from their curriculum. I had been told that the school administrators did not want to encourage sympathy--that is, sympathy for Jews. I thought it a problem, exacerbating already strained relations and emotions on the Israeli-Palestinian issue.

Just last week I became aware of the fruits of that decision. A class at Duke University has been visiting our mosque a few times over the last couple months in a partnership to tutor some of the students at the Islamic school, and also learn some themselves about Islam and Muslims. Last Friday was the last session at the mosque, and it involved a panel with some members of the community. I was there on behalf of the da'wah committee only to facilitate the event, and found that the beginning topic was not what had been scheduled, but a fierce condemnation of some 'behavior' of some student at the school during a tutoring session.

The Duke students asked about the curriculum, and the brother on the panel just simply condemned the act and insisted it had nothing to do with the school. One sister on the panel described the importance of justice in the world and why the class needed to be sure to vote.

What was the behavior that had so upset the class?

Written in the student's workbook, "Kill the Jews."

The tutor who found it was Jewish. So was the teacher of this class at Duke. Isn't that embarrassing?

And the brother insisted that it had nothing to do with the curriculum, and that nothing needed to be added to the curriculum to encourage tolerance and respect. I beg to differ! And I can't help but relate the issue to the fact that the school deliberately wants to avoid sympathy for the Jewish people because of Israel today. I see that as a systemic attitude of the school administration which has crept into the classroom.

Sure, it has probably been helped by the attitudes of parents and reactions to friends and family who might be suffering in the Middle East. But I don't think that is a fair excuse. I think the community is deliberately trying to foster a hatred of Jewish people, and I don't think it's fair.

I'm not even talking about being politically correct, here, but being fair, being just, being upright. Some things are wrong, plainly wrong--and this is one of those things. I was very upset that the panelists could not simply say so, and that they tried to excuse it, that they tried to wipe over it, and refused the idea of any changes for improvement.

The shame is on us.

Giving Da'wah -- Surat Al-Asr

How many times have we heard or recited Surat al-Asr, and maybe not really thought about how deep it is? I know a lot of times when I'm out with my friends, they usually lead the prayer and it's one of the most commonly recited surahs... because it's short. No comment about that, for now.

Bismillah Ar-Rahman Ar-Raheem
WalAAasr
Inna al-insana lafee khusr
Illa allatheena amanoowaAAamiloo assalihati watawasaw bilhaqqiwatawasaw bissabr.

In the name of Allah, the Merciful, the Compassionate
By the time,
Indeed, mankind is in loss,
Except for those who have believed and done righteous deeds and advised each other to truth and advised each other to patience.

Allah swt is swearing by the time--and saying that all of mankind is in loss. Everyone is a loser, for sure. Well, not quite everyone, as we read in the third ayah, because the surah excludes the people described by four things. First, that they believed in Allah and done righteousness--submitting to God. But the last two, the Saheeh International translated (which I posted) reads as "advised"--this is advising to truth (haqq) and to patience.

And isn't that exactly what da'wah is? Exhorting to truth and patience. When the Prophet Muhammad (saws) was in Mecca before the migration to Medina, he was telling people about Islam--and this was the jihaad. To convey the message of Islam, and be patient even as people reject it.

And yet instead of that, we spend our time doing what? Watching the NCAA Tournament maybe? Watching ball games, watching TV, watching funny videos on youtube? Maybe talking on forums, blogging... and for what? Just wasting time... I know I waste a lot of time.

But more to the point, if anyone had doubt about the responsibility of every Muslim to convey the message of Islam (i.e., give da'wah), then they can recall that all of mankind is in loss, except for those that have believed, done righteousness, and called people to truth, and to patience.

I need some motivation

It's been a while, I'll admit, since the last time I really felt my faith sink. Why does that happen? The ups and downs were regular, even frequent, after I first became Muslim. And for a while thereafter. Iman was a roller coaster, I went up and down, and around in circles. I'm sure people always go through phases that are better and worse than others, but--and I am grateful for this--I haven't gone through a bad one for a while. I've had stress, and problems, but sinking faith? Not really.

So why now? Misplaced loyalty, perhaps. Maybe stress and mental fatigue, worries about meeting my obligations--financial, and academic. Maybe it's hormonal. Probably some combination of all of the above. After having a good little cry this afternoon, and a few minutes of sulking (I had no more time to spare) I went to meet with someone who is interested in Islam. I've been meeting with her about once or twice a week for the last month or so, as a mutual friend has graciously offered us free meals when we come there to talk about Islam. (Meals, with drinks, hot tea, and baklava to boot, I might add.)

But today I sat outside the restaurant, reluctant to go in. I wasn't ready to talk about Islam, not favorably, as I had, today, come across different offenses to my nature and sensibilities. (I'm not saying what they were exactly, suffice to say they were personal and highly emotional issues... thus the reaction I had, perhaps.) Probably not the best time to give da'wah, when you're dragging your faith like a ball chained to your ankle.

But after about 10 minutes of pouting, sulking reflection, I toughened up, faked a smile, and went on inside. As I arrived, she was finishing a chapter in The Complete Idiot's Guide to Understanding Islam, which I had loaned her some weeks back, on Jihad.

Now wasn't that interesting? It was almost a relief, really, because I truly believe that the concept of jihad is the most noble framework for a military policy outlining proper objectives and conduct for dealing with any kind of enemy. In fact, it's hard for me to see any kind of martial combat taking place outside the context of jihad to be corrupt, injust, and by very nature oppressive. So I can easily speak highly of jihad, even with my faith dragging on the floor.

And that actually eased me, somewhat, and the conversation did open up and I opened up. Fell down again, metaphorically, when the night was over, though. So I went for a walk when I got home... it didn't do much to help either. And here I am. Still feeling cheated, abused, and like a loser. Wish I knew why. And wish things would change.

Etiquette at the Masjid

I really like that women are generally welcome at my masjid and not prevented or discouraged like they might be "back home." Attending the masjid in this predominantly non-Muslim environment can really benefit women, new Muslimahs. In fact, part of the benefit for them is the presence of other Muslimahs who can help them as they begin their journey in Islam.

However, it is unfortunate to see poor etiquette at the mosque, even more so to see it from women. Such behavior adds fuel to the fire of ignorance--of people discouraging women's presence. They begin to say foolish things like "women don't know how to behave" or suggest that women aren't intelligent enough to act appropriately at the mosque... and other things of that nature. It's truly unfortunate.

But I myself have a problem with women who attend prayers, jummah, lectures, etc., and misbehave. Being permitted to come to the masjid, they have failed to adopt a proper etiquette and end up disturbing other worshipers. One suggestion to our mosque's 'education committee' (who recently surveyed the masjid to gather input for new classes and activities) was to teach the sisters etiquette of attending the mosque. What sort of etiquette should be observed? I thought I'd make my own suggestions here. (And by the way... this goes for men too!)

If you have any corrections please let me know; otherwise inshaaAllah I may make individual posts on each of these, backing them up with evidence so it's more than just my opinion. If I said anything wrong, please forgive me (and correct me.)

1. Ibaadah is first priority. The purpose of the masjid is ibaadah (worship). Everything else has lower importance--basketball or other sports, getting food from the kitchen, socializing, etc. Ths masjid should remain a suitable environment for the worship of Allah. Inside a masjid this typically means prayer and reading or reciting Qur'an.
2. Quiet during adhaan. It is appropriate to listen to the adhaan and even quietly recite along with or repeat after the muadhdhin (caller). Trying to talk through or over the adhaan is not appropriate.
3. Quiet during salaat. Shouldn't this go without saying? I mean during the jama'at prayer, there is no good reason for making a lot of noise while people are trying to pray. Sometimes the prayer might extend out of the general musallah, or have open doors. People can thus hear conversations in other rooms, like the lobby or even in the "dining area" at my masjid. Sometimes children are running around and screaming, which is distracting for everyone who can hear it, or who is bumped into. They should, instead, be trained to stay near their parent in salaat if possible, or if not--should not be brought to the masjid to pray. Sorry, but it's not a playground, and all that running around is distracting. Sometimes the child gets hurt or lost and begins screaming for his/her parent or sibling, which is very distracting to everyone--and seriously, everyone can hear it. Or sometimes the child will scream to be held or something else and the mother or father refuses to acknowledge him/her. This only makes the child scream and fuss even louder--to the parent: you are not doing anyone any favors by letting your child scream like this.
4. Not speaking in a loud voice. Because people often perform prayers throughout the day--not just during the congregtational prayer times--speaking in a loud voice in the masjid, especially in the prayer hall, can be very distracting to those trying to pray and read Qur'an. Especially when sisters are separated by a partition but in the same room, brothers and sisters need to be more careful because it's quite possible there are others in the hall who cannot be seen. Naturally, this excludes classes and lectures which might take place in the prayer hall.
5. Refraining from idle talk. While on the topic, though, idle chatter should be avoided in the prayer hall, as it might distract people trying to worship. In a quiet space even soft voices can carry. Because the masjid is ultimately for ibaadah, it would be better to take casual chat conversations to a place where they won't be a bother.
6. Punctual attendance at lectures and classes. This includes jummah. Late arrivals disrupt the class already in attendance, and sometimes require the speaker to repeat or review material already covered initially. In that respect it is rude not only to the teacher but also to the rest of the class or audience. (Especially at jummah, brothers and sisters arriving late are all distracting to the sisters in the back, who have to watch people standing and praying in front of them, obscuring the view of the speaker.) Of course for jummah, there are angels sitting at the door to record who comes in, and at the adhaan they go inside to listen to the khutbah. So if you arrive after that... your name is not written down. More incentive to arrive early!
7. When arriving late for prayer. If you do arrive late to a prayer, please be courteous when joining. Make takbeer and join the congregation in the salaat. If a raka was joined after ruku', then the entire raka needs to be repeated after the prayer. So when the imam finishes with "salaam..." then you should stand up and make-up what you missed, quietly. It is appropriate to join the back row and fill in all the spaces. If there is no more room, then a new row should start directly behind the imam, and more latecomers fill out to the right and to the left. Sisters, if the row starts in the back, should begin a new row in front.
8. Straighten lines and fill in gaps. When standing for prayer in congregation, the line should be straight, standing side-by-side, starting behind the imam and filling out to right and left. Everyone in the line should move towards the center to fill in gaps so there are no large spaces between anyone. In a mixed congregation, men should begin their rows in the front, and women from the back, to ensure separation and space. For sisters, if the rows start in the back and are full, you must begin a new row, in front of the previous row. They should also not block entrances if the doors are in the back, preventing rows from being formed in front.
9. Praying with a sutrah. Because Muslims are not supposed to walk in front of a person praying, if an individual is praying outside of the congregation (sunnah prayers, or fard prayers alone), he should either pray close to the wall in the direction of qiblah, or place an object in front of him while praying, so people do not walk in front of him to disrupt his prayer. If someone does not have a sutrah in front it is best to place one there for them or walk a safe distance in front so as not to bother them even though they were negligent to demarcate their space. I have heard that if they have no sutrah, then there is no harm in walking in front of them. It is not necessary to have a sutrah if praying on congregation, except for the imam, whose sutrah acts for the congregation.
10. Wudhu facilities. I have heard it is better to make wudhu before going to the masjid to pray. However, if one is making wudhu at the masjid, he should be courteous and clean, not leaving a mess or puddles behind for anyone who comes in afterwards.
11. Obstructing entrances. It is common for entrances/exits to become blocked by crowds, especially after a prayer or event, as people greet each other on their way out. However, they tend to block shoe racks and the door, making it difficult for others to leave. If anyone wishes to socialize immediately afterwards, it would be better to do so away from the doorways.
12. Shoes. In order to keep the carpet clean, because many people are pressing their faces against it, it is appropriate to remove one's shoes before entering the prayer hall. This goes for children as well, who may unwittingly drag dirt all over the carpet--not to mention that they shouldn't be running around inside the prayer all, as I think I mentioned elsewhere. Many masajid have a rack for shoes--this should be utilized to keep the space clear of shoes in walkways and other spaces. It also makes it easier to find shoes later on.
13. Watching children (keeping them quiet). I am sad to say that I have seen children running around unsupervised in the prayer hall during lectures (not to mention prayer!) They had no parent watching them and they would run in and out of all the doors, playing (at times roughly) with each other and not keeping quiet either. This is a distraction to people trying to pay attention, or to pray, and it is also not safe for the children. The masjid is not a babysitter, and unless a child is left with babysitting, there is no guarantee anyone is watching him. I have also seen children running around and playing before, during, and after prayers, inside the musallah! It is a prayer hall, not a playground, and should be treated as such.
14. Parking. This shouldn't have to be said, but it is very inappropriate to avoid parking rules when visiting the masjid. Handicapped spaces should be reserved for those who need it. No parking zones should be respected, as well as the streets and driveways of the neighbors of the masjid. Parking in illegal zones is a quick way to earn a fine, but also the scorn of the police, and can make it difficult for the masjid administration to deal with the city leadership.
15. Door for sisters. Many masajid have a door designated for the sisters--it is allowed for women to enter through other doors, and getting a smirk and curt reply "This is a door for brothers only, you have to go around back," is very rude. What if the sister were handicapped and the only space was in the front? Or it was raining? The door for sisters is to allow women to enter without having to mix with the men, if they find that uncomfortable. For that reason, brothers have no business using that door.
    
16. Two rakaat to greet the masjid. It is appropriate, when arriving at the masjid for a lecture or prayer, or to recite Qur'an, etc., to "greet" the masjid with a two raka' supererogatory prayer before sitting down. Generally times "not" to pray, though, are after 'asr before maghrib, and after fajr before sunrise, and also during sunrise and sunset, and as the sun is at its zenith. This should even be prayed if one is late to jummah.
17. Not talking during khutbah or lectures. Talking during the khutbah will invalidate the jummah for that person--even giving salaams! Everyone should be quiet and listening--not socializing, catching up on the latest news or gossip, disciplining their children, etc. Talking disturbs the people around you--yes, they can hear--and at times can even bother the speaker. Necessary conversations should be taken outside.
18. Mind your BO. Especially before jummah and eid it is good to take a bath (ghusl), and even make oneself smell nice (although women shouldn't wear perfume if going out in public.) Eating a lot of raw garlic and onions can give a person a sort of odor which is unpleasant to be around, and would be distracting to those praying beside. Similarly cigarette smoke has an odor which can also be smelt by those standing in prayer around someone who has just smoked. So out of consideration, we should try to be clean before going to the masjid to pray.

Junkie

When a friend of mine asked me a few nights ago if I was interested in an 'aqeedah* class for college students, I asked: who is teaching it? and when is it?

To answer the first--the imam. I might not have explained on my blog how much respect I have for this man, for his knowledge of Islam, for his manners, for the gentle way he gives advice. Whenever I can, I attend two different classes he offers, one specifically for sisters that is Riyadh-us-Saliheen, and another that is on Qur'an (which seems to be regularly canceled as soon as I make it a habit to attend--no class for the last three weeks, for example.) I love the classes with the imam, I really do; I should say his English isn't the best but I hardly ever have a problem understanding him and because he speaks with knowledge and conviction, his message is clear and powerful. And his manners are just impeccable so I love going to his classes even if I don't learn anything new as far as the hadith or Qur'an, because I can still learn manners from him, alhamdulillah.

The second answer was that it's on Sundays between maghrib and isha... which is excellent timing for me--it's a time I'm typically free.

So here's a class that I'm interested in, with a sheikh I adore, at a convenient time, so I'm like hey, sign me up! And I literally cannot wait for this class to start--will be this Sunday inshaAllah.

What's interesting though is that I just did get an email about it through the MSA announcing it, which described the class as "a serious educational course for people who want to go beyond the basics of Islam." Beyond the basics of Islam? Aqeedah? My understanding was that it was actually obligatory for all Muslims to understand aqeedah--is that wrong? Isn't that an interesting way to describe a course? I'm afraid that it might discourage people from taking it who should. Yet, at the same time, it might encourage people to take it who are more serious about Islam. We'll see how it goes inshaaAllah.

I know I'm excited about it, regardless of the level of the class. Like I said above, if nothing else I can learn more etiquette from the sheikh, but I think I will learn plenty inshaaAllah. This week there is a "sample class" and a meeting during the MSA meeting to discuss the objectives of the class. I'll miss it because I have a meeting scheduled at the same time to plan a party for new muslimahs. Actually, the meeting is to set the program, and I'm the MC for the event so I need to be there and iron out some details to ensure that well-meaning sisters don't charge the stage to embarrass themselves and other guests, the planning committee, or all Muslims. This is new for me... and I ask Allah to help me. :-)

*'Aqeedah is Islamic creed

Ramadan Misconceptions - I'tikaf

I'tikaf means sleepover at the masjid. Activities may include icebreakers, upbeat pseudo-lectures (let's call them "talks") about topics ranging from irrelevant to obscure, discussion about what it's like to be Muslim, what Ramadan means to you, 15 minutes of "alone time" where you can read Qur'an or "discuss" something important with your friends ("chit-chat"), and then pray Tahajjud in jamaa'at at 4am before going home to pray fajr and then sleep. Food is provided--pizza and sodas. Alternately, you may make a private i'tikaf (hold up, I feel redundant) by bringing a bed into the masjid and just sleeping there.

Sad story, but true. When did i'tikaf evolve into "spend the night hanging out at the masjid?" I don't know when that happened, because it had to be before I was ever Muslim. I came on the scene last Ramadan and attended a so-called i'tikaf for college sisters. There was one for brothers at the same time, that was actually in the masjid, while the sisters were in the school building. And, unfortunately, it felt very much like I described above.

Now, while I don't really have a problem with those activities, per se, though they are a little shallow, the problem I do have is that it doesn't even begin to resemble what an i'tikaf really is. So why call it an i'tikaf? That's my problem, that's my objection. I wasn't really on the lookout for more i'tikafs geared for my age group this year, I'll admit that much. When I heard about a so-called i'tikaf "for women" a few nights ago, I though ok, maybe I'll go, maybe it will be women who are mature and serious about it, and I can actually be in real i'tikaf for some of the night. I told the sister who brought it up, "If it's ibaadah, I'll go... not if it's just chit-chat." And alhamdulillah.

There were hours alloted for actual reflection, dhikr, individual salaat or reading Qur'an, rather than just minutes, as above. There were two group activities--at the outset, there was a lecture by one sister about what an i'tikaf is in the first place and talking about humility, and then there was Salaat al-Tasbeeh in jamaa'at. The rest of the time was non-interactive.

So what is an i'tikaf? The word means seclusion. Secluding oneself--that means being alone, to think and reflect. So in the last 10 days of Ramadan, we can make intention for i'tikaf and go to the masjid and enter the state of seclusion, as an act of worship. And treat it like worship. The sister insisted against the idea that women can make i'tikaf in their homes, she said that it must be in the masjid, and that the wives of the Prophet (saws) (raa) would make i'tikaf in the masjid. I point that out because I had recently been told that it was acceptable (even advisable) for women to actually perform i'tikaf at home, instead of the masjid!! So we all know I'm not a scholar, but one thing which makes no sense to me (and I hope it never does make sense to me) is why tell women they should do it at home, because some opinions are that they can, when in fact even the wives of the Prophet saws were known to make i'tikaf in the masjid instead of at home? You're scratching your head too? Okay.

At any rate, i'tikaf means seclusion, and seclusion in the masjid, as ibaadah, as worship, for which we should have the intention to please Allah swt and worship Him and focus on Him.

InshaAllah I will spend even more time at the masjid in these last few days to read even more Qur'an. I thank Allah for the time and ability to do so.

The New Face of MSA

So, alhamdulillah, another school year... another MSA. I actually attended MSA meetings regularly last year, found it an opportunity to at least start to recognize other Muslims on campus and socialize with them, looking for ways to improve the Muslim "presence" on campus. I opted to not be on shura, but I did want to participate with the da'wah activities--primarily da'wah table, but also I got to give a short talk about Islam at an OEO class (Office for Equal Opportunity?).

I have an incredibly busy load now, but I still want to keep up with MSA. They meet once a week, iftars in Ramadan. I'm not sure what all else is going on; some lectures from community members probably, community service, da'wah... You know, being a senior I also have the opportunity to (inshaaAllah) provide a good influence for younger students. I hope it's a good influence anyway.

But most of my thoughts about MSA circle around the wish that the people in it cared more. I can't help but think that the brothers and sisters I see at these meetings are immature, dunya-oriented, and off-handedly shallow about their faith. I was disappointed to see how few people signed up for da'wah, and disappointed that nobody made an effort to even try to recruit people for da'wah. I think it's a critical activity honestly that needs lots of volunteers, and it's also one of the most rewarding I think... calling to Islam? I mean Allah swt rewards for that so it is the best of rewards.

When I arrived at the last meeting, all I really noticed was a large number of mostly Arabs and a few Desis sitting on tables, talking loudly. It probably (unfortunately) goes without saying that most of the sisters weren't wearing hijab. Unless hair-gel and gaudy make-up is hijab (it's not.) Maybe I'm wrong for being so cruel, and I don't think I would ever berate an individual sister on the issue of hijab, and indeed that was hardly the problem at the meeting. There was, in my mind, a complete disregard for propriety, and worse, a lackadaisical approach to Islam!! The only thing which unites the people in the room, what should be the most important part of the meeting and the reason for being there in the first place! I hate to see MSA being a social group. Yes, this is coming from ex-sorority president, but I mean it; there are places to socialize but MSA should be more than that!!

There was a talk by one brother about Ramadan: reminding people what broke the fast, what fasting meant, why we fast and so on. A similar talk was given by another brother last year (who wasn't a student... and you know, the talk was better, much more respect given to the topic.) This brother was laughing and the group laughing along with him. Not that laughing is bad just... Ramadan isn't a joke. I won't elaborate on some of the answers given to the question "What invalidates the fast?"

But all is not, was not bad. I should mention that even though the event was more social than anything else, for the most part boys stayed on one side and girls on the other. Violations were usually crossing the room to get to the door, or brothers straying into the sisters' section to get more food.

The real highlight for me, though, and I think some others, was the salaat. Since a lot of the girls don't cover, and didn't bother to bring a cover with them, they didn't pray. But for everyone else who did pray... they were treated to a very nice recitation by a brother who (I think) someone said was a hafidh. But the real treat, right after the salaam at the end, was when he turned around and taught the entire jam'at what they should do after every salaat. Taught, being the operative word. Meaning he explained it, we translated the du'as into English to understand them, and repeated them to memorize. Mashallah... May Allah reward the brother for that.

Here's what he taught:

• Istighfar 3 times: (Astaghfirullah, astaghfirullah, astaghfirullah)
• Du'a: Allahumma Anta as-Salaam, wa minka as-Salaam, tabaarakta yaa dhal-Jalaali wa al-Ikraam.
• Ayat-ul-Kursi
• Du'a: Rabbi a3inee 3ala dhikrika, wa shukrika, wa 7usni 3ibaadatika. (x3)
  
• Tasbeeh: Subhanallah (x33), wa Alhamdulillah (x33), wa Allahu Akbar (x34.)
• Du'a: Laa ilaha illa Allah, wa7dahu laa sharika lah, lahul mulk wa lahul 7amd, wa huwa 3ala kulli shay'in Qadeer.

Uh, sorry for the progressively worsening transliteration, it's not my forte. But as the brother said, with Ramadan approaching we should hasten to do more good acts, and this is part of improving the prayer.

I mentioned this to another sister Friday night, and she said she wished someone had taught her that. She's a convert like me, and said she never learned that stuff until she went to Jordan. So may Allah reward all those brothers and sisters who make an effort to share knowledge, even when it seems some people don't want to hear it (I know some of those brothers were eager to get up and go eat, since eating was after the salaat).

But that salaat was a reflection of what I would like for MSA meetings to be more like, what I would like MSA to be like, rather than what preceded and followed it.

Oh Allah, help us to remember you, thank you, and perfectly worship you.

(edited to add: I fixed the error in the du'a above, the very important, missing "laa"!! Jazakallah khair to the one who noticed and brought it to my attention!)

WARNING

There have been comments made on my blog which attempt to impersonate me--so they look like I made them--about the Houston Taliban issue. The same comments may appear on other sites which I frequent.

I did not make these comments and I absolutely refuse to comment on this issue because I do not have the facts. If you see any comments about that issue, or promoting a blog to deal with it, rest assured that they are not from me.

Please beware, as the person posting these comments is now using my name. For this reason I have enabled comment moderation, but I'm cautioning all my readers, if you see any comments anywhere which appear to be from me about ICNA/WhyIslam, and Houston, consider them the work of an impersonator and not me.

MAS Day

Right, so despite the fact that I'm overwhelmed with stress, I'm getting dragged back into MAS. It starts with emails like "WE MISS YOU! WHERE ARE YOU?" and then bumping into people at the masjid who ask, "Are you coming to on Saturday?" and despite a really good excuse like, "I have to work" they somehow don't believe me.... two jobs plus summer school isn't a good enough excuse to not do MAS apparently.

So I took off work and am planning to go tomorrow inshaaAllah to watch some films that will, I just know it, make me very angry about the current state of American-Middle Eastern politics. I'm going to be pissed or in tears, possibly both at the same time... I expect it to be a long day.

I carry a lot of stress, you know? Pent up inside. I release on my blog sometimes... sometimes I write posts that I never publish. Sometimes I have somebody to listen to my rants. My roommate and I have had a few good chats lately, sometimes I just need to "dump" all my baggage... she does the same. So we have chats and we both feel better afterwards. :-)

Anyway, this MAS Day at the Cinema thing is being marketed as a family event... not really sure about that, but I don't have kids so I'll be there anyway. There is supposed to be some entertainment... maybe it'll be fun? Hmmm. We'll see inshaAllah. If I start posting tomorrow night railing about politics... that'll probably be why.