Moving to Eat Zabihah

Since I became a Muslim, I followed a fairly lenient approach towards eating meat. While zabihah (properly slaughtered according to Islam) meat was available, I never purchased any at the meat market, and didn't make a particular effort to abstain from non-zabihah options, as long as I knew there was no pork or alcohol contained or served with it. But since my husband has always eaten zabihah meat exclusively, even since moving to the USA from Pakistan, we agreed before marriage that we would only have zabihah meat in the house.

And so my transition to eating zabihah has been relatively simple. I haven't decided to wholly exclude non-zabihah meat from my diet, but since I almost always eat at home, and when we go out there are almost always zabihah options, the occasion when I don't eat zabihah is pretty rare.

Since I have been on a high protein diet of sorts for several months now, you might think that choosing zabihah might have been harder--since I actually eat quite a lot of meat. But alhamdulillah, it has been incredibly simple.

Partly this is because my husband and I have a tacit grocery arrangement--usually I will buy all the other groceries and he will buy the meat for me. I've not yet gone to the halal meat shop (I should soon, to feel comfortable going there) but my husband has been able to find for me any cut of meat I wanted, ground beef and chicken, plenty of boneless skinless chicken breasts, and even halal turkey bacon. And as long as my husband takes care of the meat, making sure I've got whatever I need, I haven't felt the need to make any major dietary changes by switching to zabihah meat.

Also, I love seafood in general so it's not a problem for me to enjoy seafood entrées at restaurants if zabihah is not available--although my husband and I usually, if we do eat at a restaurant, opt for halal shops run by Muslims.

One of the few exceptions is when we eat on the road, and "fast food" is the only option. Because of the diet, it's important for me to have lean proteins, but if we pass a McDonald's or Burger King, the only fish on the menu is a fried filet. And while my husband will take that option, I find it healthier to order grilled chicken. Though I do usually pack snacks and meals for when we are on the road to avoid this occurrence most of the time.

Since the vast majority of my meals (I'd say all but one or two in a month) are zabihah, I feel like it would be relatively simple to decide to entirely restrict my diet, but I haven't done so. It has felt like a healthy and easy transition at this point, rather than an unforgiving change I might give up. Certainly, everything I cook and prepare at home is zabihah, and I know now that sticking to zabihah can be relatively easy (at least, as long as you live in a place with plenty of Muslims who demand zabihah and halal options.)

So rather than ever suggesting that someone make an immediate change in this regard, I'd say take it easy, and get there gradually. It can be easy.

Hate Crime or Dirty Prank?

For the past few weeks I've been helping at some local halaqahs by teaching the Seerah--the biography of the Prophet Muhammad (saws.) And recently we've been discussing how the Muslims were persecuted by the Quraysh in Mecca before the hijrah (migration to Medina.) Some of the enemies of Islam would really go out of their way to attack and annoy the Muslims, and especially the Prophet Muhammad (saws.) They would drop the innards of slaughtered animals on him, and dump their garbage at his doorstep. It's not like they're just lazily opposed, but they went out of their way to cause trouble.

And that's what came to mind when I heard about this: Feces smeared on Muslim van near Bellevue mosque. I heard about it on Thursday before it was reported to police through the brothers who operate the van. The van is covered in advertising for the WhyIslam? project, with the website address whyislam.org and the hotline number 1-877-WHY-ISLAM on the sides and back. So it's not just a "Muslim van" but a van with messages about Islam, clearly owned by Muslims promoting Islam. So the first thought that comes to mind is probably "ew, gross," but I think it's hard not to assume that the van was targeted by whatever sick person rubbed their hands in dog poo.

The van was parked on a public street (where it is parked quite often, actually) across from the mosque in town. And Thursday afternoon someone spotted the muck on the windshield, driver's side window, and driver's door handle.

Thankfully, the van wasn't damaged in any way and we can just wash it off, so I understand the police reacting like it's not a very big deal--and realistically I don't think there's much that they can do. I live in the same neighborhood, and know how quiet it is at night, so I think it's likely that this happened while nobody was watching, so there's not a way to catch whoever did it.

But should we consider it a hate crime? Or just a prank by some kid or drunk who happened to drive by? I think it's likely that the van was specifically vandalized because of the message on it, and support the decision to report it to police. (Although involving the media seems a bit unnecessary, in my opinion.) Now in case there is any escalation (should the culprit become more bold and damage property), this previous incident will have been documented. In case that there are more incidents of vandalism and violence directed at Muslims, I think they should have the help of law enforcement to protect them. And since there does seem to be a national trend in that direction (more attacks on Muslims and mosques), it's better to be on the safe side.

(For picture, http://media.pnwlocalnews.com/images/14015bellevueMuslimVan2.jpg)

No posts for a month?

What am I doing with my life?

Indeed, it's time to check-in. My husband keeps reminding me to blog, and I keep procrastinating. So don't blame him. I kept thinking that I wasn't busy (even though I couldn't find time to do even simple things!) and a little chat with my therapist helped me realize, oh yes, I'm stressed too!

Over the past several weeks I have been busy with just a few different things. The stress mostly comes from a likely upcoming move (which I'll have to write a lot about soon inshaaAllaah as things develop) and three different teachings engagements I'm involved in every week.

In this area, there are actually lots of different activities for new Muslims. Which one is best? So much depends on a person's situation, personality, schedule, and what they're really looking for. So it's nice that there's variety. And for those of us who attend them all--hey, it's nice to have something to do on a rainy weekend, right?

Two of these are evening halaqahs, one on a Friday and one on a Sunday. I don't run either one (which saves me the stress of managing and communicating with everyone who attends,) and only volunteer in teaching a few things. And right now, the only thing I'm teaching is the Seerah. I started at the Friday one first so we're a little ahead--which means that every week I have to prepare for two different lessons, instead of repeating the same. But on the plus side--how much more time I spent reviewing the Seerah for myself? Alhamdulillah, what an amazing review.

And then on Saturdays I run a class for new Muslims, called Compass. We have covered prayer and faith and started learning Arabic, with more subjects coming up in the next two months inshaaAllaah. For this class I'm preparing slides and materials for each weekly class, and since it's my first time teaching a class on my own this way, I'm learning a lot of lessons. I'm learning how much information students can handle in just an hour, and how to deal with absences and review. And how long it takes people to memorize. But some of my theories before starting were correct--if you push people to memorize something (properly motivate them), then they can memorize it.

But I spend a lot of time during the week preparing for these weekend halaqahs and classes.

Another major time hog for me has been my workouts and training sessions, and nutrition appointments. At first I didn't notice because I wasn't busy to start with, but now it makes a bigger impact. On the other hand, now the appointments have been scaled back. To give you an idea--I was seeing a trainer 3 times a week, for about 75 minutes each time, followed by another 30 minutes on my own in the gym, at least. So there goes at least two hours, not to mention travel time. And then the other two days in the gym took an hour and a half out of my day, each, at least. Now I see a trainer only twice a week, and each session lasts about an hour, with another 20 minutes I spend on my own afterwards. So it's not much, but it seems like I have a little more time these days.

Also, I used to have nutrition appointments every week, which are now every other week. And the therapist I mentioned earlier? I still see her but even less often (from every 3 to every 6 weeks) and group sessions which met every week are finished, although I might continue with another group since it was actually pretty helpful.

But now I'm doing much better with my time, especially since I'm trying to go to bed earlier. Actually, it's kind of difficult living up here (and worse, probably, in places further north!) to get the night prayers straightened out. These days are the longest of the year, and Isha isn't until 11:30pm, while fajr is before 3am! So if you stay up to pray isha, and then stay up just a little while afterwards, it becomes very tempting to just stay up for fajr, and sleep afterwards. That's a habit I'm trying to break, since it just ate up so much of the daytime by sleeping all morning. And I'm not nearly as productive at night.

So now I try to go to bed after maghrib (which is 9:30pm) or at the latest, right after isha. If I sleep after maghrib then I can get up around 1-2pm and pray isha a little on the late side, and stay up until fajr and then sleep again. Or I can sleep and get up around 12:30-1 to pray, sleep again, and get up around 4:30am for fajr. (Easier said than done: it's not easy to keep getting up when your body wants to sleep. It revolts.) And if I pray isha, then I try to get up around 4:30am to pray fajr, which is kind of on the late side, not much room for error, but I can still pray it in its time and get a few hours of sleep. I've found that if I'm only asleep for 2-3 hours I have an especially hard time waking for fajr (don't even hear the alarm), but after 4 hours I can manage it.

But with my newfound productivity I've been able to really clean the apartment (my kitchen and bathrooms haven't been this clean since we moved in!) And having a clean place to live and work makes it easier to be more productive.

And now I'm also getting ready for my in-laws to visit (I think nothing will make you clean house like a visit from your in-laws!) in a few weeks, so I'm trying to get the place really organized and less cluttered. So while I'm not blogging, that's what I'm doing. Most of the time.

Amusing Antagonists

I can't help but be amused by the recent reporting about Ergun Caner--a man who claims to be an expert on Islam, having converted to evangelical Christianity in his youth. He's even written a few books on the subject, one of which I made a point to particularly refute in a separate blog (although that "project" of mine didn't get very far since I got bored/lazy/busy.) But in his books he kind of exposes himself (to Muslims, anyway) as not being an accurate authority. Not that Muslims would read his books to learn about Islam--he actually writes for Christians to help them guide Muslims to apostasy.

But anyway, when I saw this article today I had to stymie a laugh. A similar article has been published by the Associated Press saying much of the same. In short, he's being investigated to see if he's telling the truth about his personal biography. Personally, I don't think it's that big of a deal since I thought that a person would have to be pretty naive to take him seriously in the first place. And maybe he just made a few mistakes when recounting his past in different places so that the story became a little convoluted in the public view.

But it is fascinating, and I encourage you to take a look at this website to learn more about Caner's distorted past. It's actually pretty funny, I think. The man behind the site has done a fair job of listing all the "issues" with Caner's claims about himself and his family--many are the same things I recognized years ago just in reading his books. But the brother does a good job of organizing them and calling him out.

Although I'm sure there are some people who genuinely convert to Christianity from Islam, some of the prominent preachers and writers who claim to have been Muslim do seem suspicious, including the Caners. So I do find it amusing to see them get called out and questioned. It doesn't really have much of an effect on Muslims, but rather the Christians who have been listening to these guys and believe what they say about Islam. Because in fact they really do know Christianity very well and have studied it extensively--it makes them well qualified to be Christian preachers, right? It's just their knowledge of Islam which is lacking, making them ill equipped to explain Islam to Christians or anyone else.

Losing Touch?

Alhamdulillah, I have been a Muslim for almost five years--just one month shy, actually. I've had time to avail myself of opportunities--classes and socials--for new Muslims, Muslim youth, and general Muslim communities here in Washington and back in North Carolina, not to mention a few events I attended out of town. My perspective on Islam has changed a little in that time, so that Islam is more comfortable to me and less intimidating, and I'm afraid that I might have lost some of my initial passion for the faith.

But what concerns me today is whether or not I'm out of touch with the needs of new Muslims. This issue in particular is one to which I've devoted many, many blog posts over the years, but something hit me today: I still am overwhelmed by thinking about the problems other converts face.

I know what my own problems were (and are) and how I faced them--for better and worse. And I feel somewhat equipped to discuss them with other converts facing similar issues. But since I've come to Washington, I've spent a lot more time with new Muslims--even now working on a class specifically for new Muslims--and I'm reminded that people do take different paths and face different challenges. And some issues facing other new Muslims just leave me overwhelmed, without any sensible advice or response to provide.

It's why I feel that I might have "lost touch" with new Muslims and the experiences they have, after spending so much time trying to get out of the "new Muslim" phase myself. So the last few weeks have been pretty enlightening for me, reminding me of the difficulties that people face when coming to Islam and also the dedication they have to their faith. And the amazing way Allah provides them with the resources to overcome their challenges.

Every challenge is a test--and we aren't tested unless we have what we need to pass the test. Knowing that, and knowing that with every difficulty comes ease (Surat Ash-Sharh.) I read this chapter to a Sunday school class one time, and I read it to myself pretty often as well.

So even though I can't solve anyone's problems, and often don't even have much in the way of advice to give, what I can (and should) tell new Muslims is that they can always turn to Allaah, and that they should always turn to Allaah, and He is the One who will ease their difficulty and reward their patience in dealing with it.

Hijab Blog

Recently I discovered a blog all about hijab--a great resource for Muslimahs who cover, want to cover, think about covering, etc. Cleverly titled "I Got It Covered," it offers stories, tips, personal experiences and more on the issue of hijab.

For the month of May, they accepted reader submissions with personal stories about starting to wear hijab. So I wrote up a submission, and it was published today, May 4.

So head on over there and read it: Sorority President Dons Hijab. And then subscribe to their RSS feed or bookmark the page, and check back often. Enjoy all the reader-submitted hijab stories this month, and then the regular posting back in June inshaaAllaah.

Islam and my view on wealth and poverty

There are some people of my acquaintance who sincerely oppose any kind of social welfare projects--along with (perhaps because of) some right-wing pundits. These folks believe that poor people don't work hard; at least, not as hard as the rich or middle-class. They believe that their own efforts (pretty much exclusively) contribute to their own success.

Islam prevents me from siding with that opinion. If I believe in Allah, Lord and Sustainer, and believe that He is responsible for providing sustenance for me and for everyone, I can't take credit for it. I can't take credit for my wealth, or blame someone else for their poverty. Just like I can't credit someone with their health, or blame someone for their illness--it's all from Allaah. Wealth is a test as surely as poverty, health as well as illness. And if I, for instance, am being tested with wealth, then it's my responsibility to distribute it as charity to those who are tested with poverty.

With this view of the world, how can people despise social welfare and social justice? How can they despise the poor?

Many people work hard and are blessed with wealth. Some don't work hard at all and still they're wealthy. And many people work hard and still live in poverty.

Unless we truly acknowledge the blessings that we have in life, and the source of those blessings, it's all too easy to blame people for their own troubles and refuse help. But if we understand that everything is from Allah, and understand that we're going to be accountable for how we handle our wealth (if we have it), then isn't it impossible to withhold from charity?

Calling on Allah

I figured I would start the Compass class by talking about du'a. With agreement that Salah is the most important thing to teach new Muslims, I decided to first explain the concept of du'a, of calling on Allah. Essentially salah is both du'a and istighfar, a means of cultivating one's relationship with Allah. Our relationship with Allah is that of slaves and master--we worship Allah. And the very essence of worship is du'a.

We should understand that our salah is a way of calling on Allah, and that we can call on Him anytime we want--and really, the more the better. Just making requests of Allah implies and fosters our belief and reliance on Him alone. Asking Him means we recognize His Hearing, His Knowledge and Power, while also acknowledging our powerlessness. So it seems that du'a is a fitting place to start.

We can call on Allah whenever we want, and know that He hears us.

And when My servants ask you, [O Muhammad], concerning Me - indeed I am near. I respond to the invocation of the supplicant when he calls upon Me. So let them respond to Me [by obedience] and believe in Me that they may be [rightly] guided.

Moreover, we have the benefit of Allah's response to our supplications. Firstly we might get the thing we are asking for. But if not, if Allah withholds it from us, then instead He may protect us from some other hardship we might have to face, or else it will become a reward for us on the Day of Judgment. So there's no reason not to make du'a--it's a win-win-win scenario.

But in case a person's du'a is not accepted, there may be a sin from which the person has not repented. In which case, the solution is to repent. Repentance is a topic on its own, but briefly this means the person should acknowledge the incorrect or sinful behavior in which he is or was engaged in, and correct it, ask forgiveness from Allah for it, and abstain from it in the future.

There is also an amazing story from the time of Moses and the Children of Israel. While they were wandering in the desert and suffering from a drought, Moses prayed to Allah for rain. But instead of rain it only got hotter and dryer. And then Allah revealed to Moses that one man among the Children of Israel had been sinning against Allah for some 40 years, so Moses was instructed to have that man leave the group before Allah would bring the rain.

So Moses went to the people and explained--he didn't know who the man was, but asked that the man, whoever he was, would leave. But imagine if you were that man? You knew your sins but nobody else around you knew. How hard would it be then to expose yourself? But yet if you didn't, then you and everyone else might die of thirst. And he recognized that all this time Allah had covered his sins. So he prayed, sincerely, to Allah for forgiveness and for Allah to continue to cover his sins. And then it started to rain.

But Moses asked Allah why the rain was coming even though the sinful man had not left. And Allah revealed that the same man had repented of his sins so Allah had allowed the rain for all of the people. Then Moses wanted to know who the man was, because of whom all of the Children of Israel had been first deprived of and then blessed with rain. But Allah refused, telling Moses that He had hid the man's sins for 40 years, so would He now expose them after repentance?

It's such a beautiful story and filled with loads of reminders for us today. That no matter how long we have sinned, Allah still accepts repentance. That our sins might not just be affecting us, and that if we find our prayers not being answered, perhaps we should try to correct ourselves and ask for forgiveness. And remember that we may call on Allah at any time for any need, and we should. It confirms and strengthens our belief in Allah and as an act of worship it can nurture our relationship with Him. And once we understand that, we can discuss salah with an appreciation of it as an act of submission and worship and so much more than a simple ritual.

There is much more that can be said about du'a--be patient for the result instead of hastily anticipating it, or declaring that Allah didn't answer; the best times to make du'a are after performing a good deed, like after salah or before breaking one's fast. The last third part of the night is also a great time to make du'a, as is while one is in salah during the prostration. Moreover, there are some etiquettes about making du'a in the first place which I think I will not include in this part of the class. Mostly, I don't have very much time, and I also don't want students to feel bogged down in "rules" when it comes to du'a. Is there something I'm omitting but I should include? Please let me know!

Do the Healthy Dance

Today I was watching a health and fitness video, one component of a fitness program I'm participating in, about three phases or stages a person will experience during weight loss. The first stage they called the "honeymoon" stage, followed by the "frustration" stage, and lastly the "acceptance" phase.

I thought it was kind of interesting, since I've spent some time thinking lately about how a person can maintain weight loss and changes in lifestyle habits over a long period of time. Most people who are successful in losing weight actually fall back on hold habits and regain the weight, regardless of the program or "diet" they were on to lose the weight in the first place. So it's worth considering.

The "honeymoon" stage is when a person is just starting on a program and is seeing plenty of results. The person is losing weight rapidly and usually with relative ease, is enthusiastic about going to the gym and meeting with trainers and dietitians, carefully tracks their nutrition daily and works out regularly. I'm probably still in this phase, actually; I even enjoy talking (and blogging, tweeting, etc.) about the program.

But after a while, the person will become frustrated, either with the work involved or maybe less drastic results, and might start slipping in their meal tracking and workouts. That's the "frustration" stage. Of course, that can turn the weight loss around or at the very least make it stall, which causes a person to become even more frustrated and start looking towards their previous bad habits, from when life was "easy."

The key to success, however (apparently, at least, according to this video) is reaching another stage, called "acceptance," when the person understands the body's needs and is able to make a real lifestyle commitment to health. Eating healthy becomes a way of life, and so does exercise, until it doesn't seem like drudgery (to quote the video) to have to work out and watch food intake.

Obviously succeeding at maintaining weight loss is complicated, with many factors involved. But thinking of it this way makes it seem that if you can just get through the "frustration" stage without turning back to food for comfort, or slacking when it comes to nutrition or exercise, then it can become permanent.

Married Life

As soon as I got married, people started asking me all the time "How's married life?" as if I might have some cute quip about it. I never did have a good answer, but now I've had some time to think about it, at least. In the CD set 'Fiqh of Love,' Sh. Yaser Birjas mentioned how silly of a question this is to ask someone newly married. But as I said--I've had a little bit of time to think.

My married life--maybe not anyone else's, but mine--is fun.

It's been fun getting to learn more about Pakistani culture, as well. And I have nothing but praise for the women I've met here among the wives of my husband's friends. They've been very welcoming, considering that I don't speak their first language, know very little about their culture, and come from a completely different country. So I've had the opportunity to attend many weekly dinner parties--a new experience for me--and even a cook-out.

I never really had any experience going to dinner parties growing up, and even after Islam they were mostly with just single women, so the segregation in dinner parties was new. I'm sure that for Muslims who have grown up seeing adults segregation naturally it's not weird at all. For me it was just a little bit of adjustment, though I'm not sure it bothered me as much as it might some people (example).

The segregation makes things a little bit more complicated--you need an extra set of serving dishes, and there's never enough chairs, not to mention communication (we need more rice) barriers and who's going to ferry the food back and forth. For us it also meant hanging curtains in hallways so men couldn't see the women as they came in.

But I'll say that even though American apartments don't necessarily make it easy, I think desis have this concept right about segregation at dinner parties, keeping the men and women in completely different rooms. I don't think it's necessarily right for all gatherings (especially classes in the masjid, committee meetings, khutbahs and the like) but for a purely social engagement, what need is there that men and women be sitting and talking with each other?

I'll admit that at first it was awkward to be in social situations with complete strangers--since my husband wasn't around--but I got along, met new people, and now I am comfortable with them and they're not strangers any more. And, if I'm going to a dinner party to socialize, why would I want to socialize with my husband (who I see at home?) And there's no way I really want to socialize with the other men.

So I'm coming around to view it as the best, even though the first few times I was pretty chicken, not having my husband there to hold my hand. But now, thankfully, I'm over that stage (most of the time) and have a pleasant time visiting with some new friends--very kind, welcoming, hospitable people.