Monday, February 05, 2007

Where I am vs. where I wanna be

So still there is back pain. I thought it had eased up a little, but yesterday was awful. Last night (after already taking two more Tylenol "extra strength" making 6 for the day) I was trying to do the dishes, fold my laundry... and everything hurt. Standing, moving, reaching, lifting. But nevertheless I'm getting the impression I should really go to the doctor if this keeps up... so I really hope it doesn't. I slept on the heating pad and this morning was much better. So I took two more and then it was okay. And I'm about to take... two more since it's been about 6 hours... or maybe 5.

So anyway, this weekend was nice--exhausting, but nice. I had the privilege to listen to Sister Yvonne Ridley give several different speeches between Thursday and Sunday. She's giving another tonight that I'd love to attend, though it is unfortunately some distance away and I have a lot of homework to do tonight for Tuesday morning--which had been put off because I was so busy during the weekend. :D

That has given me plenty to write about, but I don't want to just repeat what someone else has said. Recently it occurred to me that my faith was not a priority in my life, though I can't say for how long that was the case. My objective now is to rearrange my priorities and focus instead on what I am doing for God instead of the reverse, or what I am doing for myself.

This weekend I realized the real importance of having women who are scholarly trained in Islam. I've talked about this some with others and it's an issue that has just recently moved right to the front of my head. Where are they? One da'wah recommendation is to have only women speakers answer questions about women in Islam. And really--I can't tell you how many times I've heard a man botch a simple answer to a problem some people have on the issue. Take for example, polygamy. Men are not allowed to have more than one wife just because they want to. So then, why do so many men when asked about this reply with such foolish suggestions? They ask, what if a woman can't fulfill a man's right this way or that way, or what if he wants this, or needs that, and she can't? As though marriage were only a means of supporting and enhancing a man's life. No matter how you spin it, that's a degrading and sexist opinion. It's bad enough that any Muslim man would think that way, but worse that this is how Islam is presented to the outside world. Now, you will find some women with a sort of inferiority complex (so I think) who will repeat the same garbage, as though men are entitled to whatever they want and women are not. Marriage is a far more complicated issue than that, and suggesting that polygamy is an answer to the desires of men alone is absolute foolishness--that is clearly the weakest support for it. So why give that answer? Do these men who reply such not know any better? Do they think they really are better or something? Sheesh.

Of course, even if they do give a good answer, the fact remains that a woman giving the answer will sound stronger. A woman talking about hijab carries far more weight than any man to do so. A woman talking about women's rights has a voice. A man to do so is more of the same--and to an audience unfamiliar with the topic they'll wonder--can he be trusted? Does he even know what it's like? He'll have a hard time gaining the sympathy of the audience, unfortunately. But we don't have enough women to talk about these issues. The ones who can talk aren't trained. The ones who are trained... they don't talk.

So now the obvious--I for one am tired of sitting in the background. Opportunities are there, volunteers are needed all over the place to help with this or that, but I want real Islamic training. I want to really know my faith and practice it. And I want to meet Allah swt saying I spent my life learning this deen, implementing it, and teaching it. And not to show off or be better than anyone but to actually improve myself, improve the state of the ummah and people's opinion of it. Ambitious? Perhaps. But for now, it starts with learning Arabic so that's where I'm starting--and to do whatever I can with the resources I currently have available.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

mashaAllah sis , that was full of great thoughts
may Allah help you , your first step towards the goal is just right mashaAllah..

i want to add something concerning take one part of the picture, they apply it the way they want not the way sahaba (may Allah be pleased with them did) nor Muhammad (pbuh)did...they should see how the familes were (okay) with that...there was no destruction shoudln't do it without looking at the results...(u can hardly find a man who did it nowadays and it went without destroying his first family)<< is that how it was done at the time of Muhammad(pbuh)???!!!

if it needs from him to train his wife then let him train her fisrt ..and if it's something above her abilities then he can't force that on her...

men should know that it's halal for them but also halal for a woman and it's her right to ask for divorce if she can't take they must be ready to accept the woman's choice and (RIGHT), and in that case he would still have one wife not two..

so they should be honest from the very begnning and tell the woman that they would like to do that and let her decide if that's okay with her or not..for some women it's fine with them.
i know families who are living fine with that but coz it was done the right way and everyone accepted it

we need to educate boys and girls..not just girls...the boys should be educated coz it's a waste of time to educate women to be good wives when the men won't react to that.
may Allah guide us all
wassalamu alaikum