Sunday, January 04, 2009

Things I Learned in Engineering School

10. Phasors (1, 2, 3) are not guns on starships (i.e., phasers: 1, 2, 3.)

9. Cloaking devices (1, 2) are real (1, 2), but only work in 2-D; so no Harry Potter cloaks.

8. Rocket science is nothing more than applying Newton's Laws.

7. If you hold two pieces of polarized glass together, and block all the light by turning one 90 degrees.

6. Scotch tape clings to your hand after you rip it off the roll because the glue ripped electrons off the tape below it. About a nanoCoulomb of charge, that way.

5. For the artistically-impaired, spray-painting a bottle rocket is enough to collect points for aesthetics--as long as it's your school color.

4. Despite being in the Computer Science building, Port City Java does not employ programming tutors. (They sell coffee, not code.)

3. If you think you might have a question about the homework, follow your professor to his office after class. Otherwise you risk getting lost (and potentially locked) in the maze of offices upstairs.

2.You can tell what year a boy is in by his commitment to personal hygiene. When they are freshman, their hair begins to overgrow, apparently without mom to remind them to get a haircut. By sophomore year, they've stopped showering regularly since they need to make it to class on time after staying up all night playing playstation (or whatever.) By their junior year they have stopped shaving, abandoning all regard for their appearance. By their senior year, they start dressing more professionally, showering, shaving, and cutting their hair again, no doubt to impress potential employers at career fairs.

1. When a professor says "I think I have time...," before continuing his lesson, it means you're going to be late. Suck it up and deal with it.

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