Tips for the Self-Deluded

Once upon a time I read this book: "He's Just Not That Into You." Why? I thought it looked amusing and I accidentally spilled coffee on it, so I felt compelled to buy it. It's basically a guide for women who are dating or trying to date (or marry) men who... well, aren't interested in the same things. Below are the titles of the chapters... basically a summary of the whole book.

1. He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out;
2. He's just not that into you if he's not calling you;
3. He's just not that into you if he's not dating you;
4. He's just not that into you if he's not having sex with you;
5. He's just not that into you if he's having sex with someone else;
6. He's just not that into you if he only wants to see you when he's drunk;
7. He's just not that into you if he doesn't want to marry you;
8. He's just not that into you if he's breaking up with you;
9. He's just not that into you if he's disappeared on you;
10. He's just not that into you if he's married (and other insane variations of being unavailable);
11. He's just not that into you if he's a selfish jerk, a bully, or a really big freak.