Celebrating Eid and Ramadan

In about 10 days inshaaAllaah I'll be giving a talk at a Ramadan workshop for new Muslims about celebrating Ramadan and Eid. I'm thinking it's probably the easiest part of the worskhop--other speakers will be talking about the virtues of Ramadan, the fiqh of Ramadan, and making the most of the spiritual blessings of Ramadan, topics that are deeper and carry much more weight in Ramadan discussions. But I get to tackle the little afterthought--it seems that way after 30 days of fasting and worship--called Eid. So I can't really treat it like an afterthought, can I?

Looking back through some old blogs I saw that when talking about Ramadan and Eid, some people commented that they didn't really know how to celebrate Eid, and despite having been Muslim for a while had never actually been to an Eid prayer or celebration. Thinking back on my own experience now, I realize that I was tremendously helped by other sisters who reached out to me and invited me (or drug me along) to various activities and gatherings. In fact, not only on Eid but throughout Ramadan I was able to experience a new level of sisterhood than I had previously.

So I think that I will spend some time talking about the Eid prayer in such a way that attendees feel encouraged to attend the Eid prayer. And then to talk about socialization to prepare them to actually celebrate the day of Eid instead of letting it pass by as a footnote.

Some suggestions I've heard are to mention a gift to neighbors or friends, like an "iftar bowl," a a festive, decorative bowl or box full of dates or fruits with which people can break their fast, but also including the du'a for breaking the fast prominently displayed. Another suggestion about "eid baskets," giving gifts to friends and family--several gifts grouped together in baskets for each individual.

Any other ideas?

Please Stay and Pray

Have you ever been sitting in a class at the masjid scheduled around the prayer time? Like, it lasts until asr, or until maghrib, for example? It tends to happen a lot, I think, since the call to prayer necessitates a break in the class and makes for a good stopping point. More importantly, it gives you the advantage to pray that salah, at least, in the masjid. That is, if you don't have a habit of performing prayers in the masjid, it gives you a reason to do so.

In my time as a Muslim, I've learned that it's not appropriate to leave the masjid after the adhan is called unless you have prayed with the congregation. Why? Here's why:

Abu Hurairah (R.A.) said, "The prophet (S.A.W.) ordered us, when we are in the Masjid and the Salah is called for, not to leave the Masjid until we pray." [Ahmad]

See? And when I took the Fiqh of Salah class from AlMaghrib I learned that you should pray that salah with the congregation even if you've already prayed it! (For example, if you're travelling, or if you follow a different opinion for asr.)

But I have at times been sitting in a class or halaqah which lasts until a prayer time--at which point nearly everyone gets up to leave. I'm not sure if I think it's bad timing or bad etiquette--I'm sure that they don't know about this hadith, or else they might be inclined to stay. After a few years, I've learned to adjust my schedule to the prayer times, and absent any extenuating circumstances, will stay for the congregational prayer if I am there for the adhan.

But what's the best way to tell people, when they are getting up to leave, if they figure that the class is over and they need to get home. Will a few more minutes (20-30 max) make that much of a difference, at 9:00pm? Do many people just not know about this hadith and etiquette? I wonder, and also wonder the best way to share it. Thoughts?

Finishing the Qur'an

A few weeks ago I met a sister who was planning to finish memorizing the Qur'an by the end of this year. I was at a halaqah where I was supposed to be "teaching," though I didn't feel like I had much to teach while she was there. She was about the same age as me, and didn't really know anyone else at the halaqah, and I don't know anyone there knew what kind of person was sitting among them.

I have a tremendous amount of respect for sisters who have memorized the Qur'an, and the magnitude of the endeavor. Over the past few years I have tried to memorize the Qur'an, little by little. I was embarrassed to spend time around my peers knowing only a handful of surahs from the end of the Qur'an. I heard Yasir Qadhi say about applicants to IlmSummit that the amount of Qur'an memorized was a factor in admission, and being a hafidh was ideal. After learning to read Arabic and studying tajweed, memorization became a bit easier, but I still wasn't really headed towards becoming a hafidhah or anything, and didn't even have one whole (or even half) juz in my head. I was just trying to learn about as much Qur'an as kids learn in Sunday school. And that's not exactly the same level as "serious" students of knowledge, even though I considered myself as serious as the rest. I've just gotten a late start and have to make up a few (like 20) years.

I still know about that much Qur'an, but for now my focus has changed. On applying to Bayyinah, while taking a reading/tajweed test, the sister I was speaking to suggested that I start reading the Qur'an in Arabic more frequently. She suggested I start with about half a page a day, and work up to two pages a day and just read every day.

So I started doing that, making gradual progress and trying to read a page or two daily. But on my recent trip back to North Carolina to visit my family, with plenty of time spent on planes and in airports, my reading of the Qur'an improved tremendously, just by reading it much more, and more often. When I left, I was still reading Surat al-Baqarah, and now alhamdulillah I'm reading Surat al-Ma'idah. Perspective? I had been reading Surat al-Baqarah since April.

And then I got this crazy idea that I would try to keep reading more, and try to have completed it by the end of Ramadan. I'm still not reading very quickly, and unfortunately I don't understand much, but I can tell that my reading has improved--speed and accuracy. Now that we're into the month of Sha'ban, I don't have much time to get there, but I think I'm going to at least try.

So for now I've stopped memorizing to focus on reading. And as I said, it is making a difference.

When I first came to Seattle, I talked to some other convert sisters about this particular struggle, reading Qur'an with enough proficiency to be able to read on a regular basis. For instance, there is a hadith about reading Surat al-Kahf on Fridays--but imagine if it took you from the time of jumu'ah until maghrib to finish it? That is, if you could commit yourself to sit there and struggle through the pages for that long.

And at the time, it bothered me that even though I was memorizing short chapters I still couldn't sit down and read something like Surat al-Kahf on Fridays, or Surah Ya-Seen in the morning, or Surat al-Mulk after 'isha. And I don't think I'm there yet still, but I am getting closer. Although, for now all my reading time is pretty much devoted to getting through the Qur'an the first time.

Even though now I'm reading it with understanding, I can't help but appreciate that I'm forming a habit that will continue through my study of Arabic. And once I have learned enough Arabic to understand it inshaaAllaah, I hope that the meaning will unfold as I continue to read it, over and over and over.

I have heard that the Companions used to finish reading the Qur'an in a week--though now we might finish it only once in a year at Ramadan, or less than that. And although I've read a translation completely, I don't think it's quite the same as reading the Arabic. So here I am publicizing my goal--to finish reading the Qur'an for the first (but hopefully not last) time. And then, to maintain a habit of reading the Qur'an daily, and eventually to memorize it in entirety.

Ramadan Over-Planning

I just found out that on the same day I offered to help teach in a Ramadan workshop for new Muslims, there's an even better Ramadan seminar going on in another part of town. There's a very small bit of overlap, so I might go from one event to the next--should I suggest everyone do the same, I wonder, if they come to the first?

There's a big difference, I think, in the quality of a presentation offered by a da'ee, versus that by a shaykh. I hate to see Muslims having to compete with each other when events are offered at the same time (although this kind of seems to be directed to different groups of Muslims.) But it's one side effect of a larger community.

This Ramadan will be my first in Washington and I'm still learning about how things work here. There will be some different challenges here than I had in Raleigh--being further north, maghrib times comes much later, and so does isha, while fajr comes earlier, making taraweeh an even harder sacrifice. But I won't be working or in school this year so I should be able to be more flexible. (Sleeping during the day, for instance.)

Last year I saw one of my friends offering a weekly iftar for a group of convert sisters which seemed to me to benefit all of them. So I'm hoping to do something similar this year, here in Washington, by hosting a weekly iftar for ladies, especially new Muslims, and offering a short lesson before maghrib. Since in the Compass class I'm teaching we've covered salah, I thought it would help to review four different surahs, one each week, to explain the meaning and work on memorizing. So inshaaAllaah we'll do Al-Fatihah, mostly as review, then Al-Ikhlas, Al-Falaq, and An-Naas from the end of the Qur'an.

But again, I hope that my little iftar won't conflict with other events (iftars) that the sisters might like to attend, but there's only so much I can do. For me, visiting people for iftar in my first Ramadan was one of the best parts--I met so many new sisters and it really helped to increase my iman. Now that I have a place with my husband (who is totally supportive of my idea), I'd like to host other people and help make this Ramadan good for them, and a means towards an increase in iman and taqwa.

Day Dreaming

Around the country, the instructors from Bayyinah have been helping Muslims to appreciate the Qur'an and Islam through understanding of the Arabic language. After offering traveling courses, weekend seminars, and summer programs across the US, now they are taking one more step--a full-blown full-time 10-month Arabic program. How many Muslims across the country have dreamed to be able to study Arabic at that intensity, at that level, without going overseas?

By the grace of Allah, I was admitted into this program, aptly called Dream. So I will be traveling after Ramadan from Seattle, Washington to Dallas, Texas for ten months. I've been in Washington only 7 months but have come to love it. I have made friends and gotten involved with the community, even starting a project that will probably stop for as long as I am away. And by the time I move back, inshaaAllaah, I will have spent longer in Texas than in Washington, and more time away from my husband than with him.

Unfortunately, he won't be coming with me--and that is the greatest drawback of all. But at the same time he's been incredibly supportive, even urging me to apply in the first place, when I didn't think I was likely to get in. Before we got married, we both stressed how learning Arabic was important for us, and especially for teaching our children (inshaaAllaah!) because of the impact it has on our ability to understand Qur'an.

For me the Dream program is the answer to a du'a I've been making for years--since the first time I took an Arabic grammar class with Br. Nouman. And my prayer is to understand Arabic so I can understand the Qur'an. Alhamdulillah, He has made it easy for me so far, and I pray that He continues to make it so.

A moment of sisterhood

I was at the grocery store today and passed by a mother and daughter both wearing hijab. Even though we have never seen each other before, we greeted each other with a smile and the Islamic greeting "As-salaamu alaykum." The same thing happened yesterday at the gym--I saw another girl running on a treadmill while wearing hijab, and on my way out of the gym I passed her and greeted her--and she smiled to return the greeting as well.

We Muslim women can greet each other even though we don't know each other because we know that we are all Muslims, and admit it to the world by our choice of clothing. Even though we speak different languages, come from different countries, and our lives only overlap for that brief moment, we can still share a moment of sisterhood fostered by a simple greeting: peace be upon you.

Isn't it beautiful how we are connected, and how the connection can manifest even though we don't know each other?

Crash Course in Desi

I guess that since getting married to a desi (he's Pakistani) my understanding of desi Pakistani culture has improved, but I think I'm about to get a real crash course in the coming weeks. Because my husband has lived in the USA for a few years now and is very accommodating to my American background, it's been easy to ignore much of his Pakistani heritage. Not that I do so intentionally, but in 8 months in the USA (and 0 days in Pakistan) it's hard to really understand his culture at any deep level.

But (alhamdulillah!) I'm excited to announce that his family will be visiting us (inshaaAllaah) in coming days to stay for a few weeks. And this means that I'll need to start practicing my Urdu, for starters. When we got married, my husband said he'd teach me Urdu when we went to Pakistan--but it turns out that his family is visiting first. So far, he speaks to me almost exclusively in English so I've only learned a few Urdu phrases--which is nice, since it gets a laugh from sisters and aunties at dinner parties, though seems to confuse children, who tend to give me odd looks without answering. (Are they thinking, "Uh, why's that white girl speaking Urdu?")

I also want to learn about practical customs so that I don't inadvertently offend my gracious in-laws. They're so sweet to me, I'm afraid not just of my own shortcomings but also that even if I try to be helpful it might not come across the way I intend.

So overall the visit is making me both happy and nervous--and slightly frantic as I try to get the house ready. Any advice will be welcome!

Moving to Eat Zabihah

Since I became a Muslim, I followed a fairly lenient approach towards eating meat. While zabihah (properly slaughtered according to Islam) meat was available, I never purchased any at the meat market, and didn't make a particular effort to abstain from non-zabihah options, as long as I knew there was no pork or alcohol contained or served with it. But since my husband has always eaten zabihah meat exclusively, even since moving to the USA from Pakistan, we agreed before marriage that we would only have zabihah meat in the house.

And so my transition to eating zabihah has been relatively simple. I haven't decided to wholly exclude non-zabihah meat from my diet, but since I almost always eat at home, and when we go out there are almost always zabihah options, the occasion when I don't eat zabihah is pretty rare.

Since I have been on a high protein diet of sorts for several months now, you might think that choosing zabihah might have been harder--since I actually eat quite a lot of meat. But alhamdulillah, it has been incredibly simple.

Partly this is because my husband and I have a tacit grocery arrangement--usually I will buy all the other groceries and he will buy the meat for me. I've not yet gone to the halal meat shop (I should soon, to feel comfortable going there) but my husband has been able to find for me any cut of meat I wanted, ground beef and chicken, plenty of boneless skinless chicken breasts, and even halal turkey bacon. And as long as my husband takes care of the meat, making sure I've got whatever I need, I haven't felt the need to make any major dietary changes by switching to zabihah meat.

Also, I love seafood in general so it's not a problem for me to enjoy seafood entrées at restaurants if zabihah is not available--although my husband and I usually, if we do eat at a restaurant, opt for halal shops run by Muslims.

One of the few exceptions is when we eat on the road, and "fast food" is the only option. Because of the diet, it's important for me to have lean proteins, but if we pass a McDonald's or Burger King, the only fish on the menu is a fried filet. And while my husband will take that option, I find it healthier to order grilled chicken. Though I do usually pack snacks and meals for when we are on the road to avoid this occurrence most of the time.

Since the vast majority of my meals (I'd say all but one or two in a month) are zabihah, I feel like it would be relatively simple to decide to entirely restrict my diet, but I haven't done so. It has felt like a healthy and easy transition at this point, rather than an unforgiving change I might give up. Certainly, everything I cook and prepare at home is zabihah, and I know now that sticking to zabihah can be relatively easy (at least, as long as you live in a place with plenty of Muslims who demand zabihah and halal options.)

So rather than ever suggesting that someone make an immediate change in this regard, I'd say take it easy, and get there gradually. It can be easy.

Hate Crime or Dirty Prank?

For the past few weeks I've been helping at some local halaqahs by teaching the Seerah--the biography of the Prophet Muhammad (saws.) And recently we've been discussing how the Muslims were persecuted by the Quraysh in Mecca before the hijrah (migration to Medina.) Some of the enemies of Islam would really go out of their way to attack and annoy the Muslims, and especially the Prophet Muhammad (saws.) They would drop the innards of slaughtered animals on him, and dump their garbage at his doorstep. It's not like they're just lazily opposed, but they went out of their way to cause trouble.

And that's what came to mind when I heard about this: Feces smeared on Muslim van near Bellevue mosque. I heard about it on Thursday before it was reported to police through the brothers who operate the van. The van is covered in advertising for the WhyIslam? project, with the website address whyislam.org and the hotline number 1-877-WHY-ISLAM on the sides and back. So it's not just a "Muslim van" but a van with messages about Islam, clearly owned by Muslims promoting Islam. So the first thought that comes to mind is probably "ew, gross," but I think it's hard not to assume that the van was targeted by whatever sick person rubbed their hands in dog poo.

The van was parked on a public street (where it is parked quite often, actually) across from the mosque in town. And Thursday afternoon someone spotted the muck on the windshield, driver's side window, and driver's door handle.

Thankfully, the van wasn't damaged in any way and we can just wash it off, so I understand the police reacting like it's not a very big deal--and realistically I don't think there's much that they can do. I live in the same neighborhood, and know how quiet it is at night, so I think it's likely that this happened while nobody was watching, so there's not a way to catch whoever did it.

But should we consider it a hate crime? Or just a prank by some kid or drunk who happened to drive by? I think it's likely that the van was specifically vandalized because of the message on it, and support the decision to report it to police. (Although involving the media seems a bit unnecessary, in my opinion.) Now in case there is any escalation (should the culprit become more bold and damage property), this previous incident will have been documented. In case that there are more incidents of vandalism and violence directed at Muslims, I think they should have the help of law enforcement to protect them. And since there does seem to be a national trend in that direction (more attacks on Muslims and mosques), it's better to be on the safe side.

(For picture, http://media.pnwlocalnews.com/images/14015bellevueMuslimVan2.jpg)

No posts for a month?

What am I doing with my life?

Indeed, it's time to check-in. My husband keeps reminding me to blog, and I keep procrastinating. So don't blame him. I kept thinking that I wasn't busy (even though I couldn't find time to do even simple things!) and a little chat with my therapist helped me realize, oh yes, I'm stressed too!

Over the past several weeks I have been busy with just a few different things. The stress mostly comes from a likely upcoming move (which I'll have to write a lot about soon inshaaAllaah as things develop) and three different teachings engagements I'm involved in every week.

In this area, there are actually lots of different activities for new Muslims. Which one is best? So much depends on a person's situation, personality, schedule, and what they're really looking for. So it's nice that there's variety. And for those of us who attend them all--hey, it's nice to have something to do on a rainy weekend, right?

Two of these are evening halaqahs, one on a Friday and one on a Sunday. I don't run either one (which saves me the stress of managing and communicating with everyone who attends,) and only volunteer in teaching a few things. And right now, the only thing I'm teaching is the Seerah. I started at the Friday one first so we're a little ahead--which means that every week I have to prepare for two different lessons, instead of repeating the same. But on the plus side--how much more time I spent reviewing the Seerah for myself? Alhamdulillah, what an amazing review.

And then on Saturdays I run a class for new Muslims, called Compass. We have covered prayer and faith and started learning Arabic, with more subjects coming up in the next two months inshaaAllaah. For this class I'm preparing slides and materials for each weekly class, and since it's my first time teaching a class on my own this way, I'm learning a lot of lessons. I'm learning how much information students can handle in just an hour, and how to deal with absences and review. And how long it takes people to memorize. But some of my theories before starting were correct--if you push people to memorize something (properly motivate them), then they can memorize it.

But I spend a lot of time during the week preparing for these weekend halaqahs and classes.

Another major time hog for me has been my workouts and training sessions, and nutrition appointments. At first I didn't notice because I wasn't busy to start with, but now it makes a bigger impact. On the other hand, now the appointments have been scaled back. To give you an idea--I was seeing a trainer 3 times a week, for about 75 minutes each time, followed by another 30 minutes on my own in the gym, at least. So there goes at least two hours, not to mention travel time. And then the other two days in the gym took an hour and a half out of my day, each, at least. Now I see a trainer only twice a week, and each session lasts about an hour, with another 20 minutes I spend on my own afterwards. So it's not much, but it seems like I have a little more time these days.

Also, I used to have nutrition appointments every week, which are now every other week. And the therapist I mentioned earlier? I still see her but even less often (from every 3 to every 6 weeks) and group sessions which met every week are finished, although I might continue with another group since it was actually pretty helpful.

But now I'm doing much better with my time, especially since I'm trying to go to bed earlier. Actually, it's kind of difficult living up here (and worse, probably, in places further north!) to get the night prayers straightened out. These days are the longest of the year, and Isha isn't until 11:30pm, while fajr is before 3am! So if you stay up to pray isha, and then stay up just a little while afterwards, it becomes very tempting to just stay up for fajr, and sleep afterwards. That's a habit I'm trying to break, since it just ate up so much of the daytime by sleeping all morning. And I'm not nearly as productive at night.

So now I try to go to bed after maghrib (which is 9:30pm) or at the latest, right after isha. If I sleep after maghrib then I can get up around 1-2pm and pray isha a little on the late side, and stay up until fajr and then sleep again. Or I can sleep and get up around 12:30-1 to pray, sleep again, and get up around 4:30am for fajr. (Easier said than done: it's not easy to keep getting up when your body wants to sleep. It revolts.) And if I pray isha, then I try to get up around 4:30am to pray fajr, which is kind of on the late side, not much room for error, but I can still pray it in its time and get a few hours of sleep. I've found that if I'm only asleep for 2-3 hours I have an especially hard time waking for fajr (don't even hear the alarm), but after 4 hours I can manage it.

But with my newfound productivity I've been able to really clean the apartment (my kitchen and bathrooms haven't been this clean since we moved in!) And having a clean place to live and work makes it easier to be more productive.

And now I'm also getting ready for my in-laws to visit (I think nothing will make you clean house like a visit from your in-laws!) in a few weeks, so I'm trying to get the place really organized and less cluttered. So while I'm not blogging, that's what I'm doing. Most of the time.