Ibnat al-Hidayah: Daughter of Guidance

Why Learn to Read Arabic?

2011-10-08T05:34:00.000-04:00

Even though many Muslims are taught how to read the Qur'an from an early age, for various reasons many still don't know how to read the Qur'an in Arabic as adults. Some were never taught, some converted to Islam as adults and never got the chance to learn.

But now it's become easier than ever to start learning Arabic, even for adults who never learned the Arabic alphabet. Many masajid offer classes for beginners, and so do various online institutes, all to help Muslims attain their Qur'an goals. So why would a Muslim who can't read Arabic start learning?

First, to gain the blessings of reading the Qur'an in Arabic. How could you read the Qur'an in Arabic--the language of its revelation--without knowing how to read Arabic at all? And every letter of the Qur'an that we read is a blessing. In fact, Allah rewards us just for reading the letters of the Qur'an--

Whoever reads a letter from the Book of Allah, he will have a reward. And that reward will be multiplied by ten. I am not saying that “Alif, Laam, Meem” is a letter, rather I am saying that “Alif” is a letter, “laam” is a letter and “meem” is a letter. (At-Tirmidhi)

A second reason to start learning Arabic is to learn how to properly recite the Qur'an. Proper recitation is a science in itself, but something that even a beginning student of Arabic can start to learn. After learning the basics of reading, it's natural to learn the rules of recitation in order to beautify the recitation of the Qur'an.

A third reason is to start memorizing more Qur'an for salah, and even to memorize the entire Qur'an. It's very difficult to memorize Qur'an without being able to read Arabic, and memorization also requires the ability to recite Qur'an properly. But after learning how to read and recite, we can start memorizing. And the amount of Qur'an we have memorized will determine our rank in Paradise--

It will be said to the companion of the Qur’an: Read and elevate (through the levels of the Paradise) and beautify your voice as you used to do when you were in the dunyaa! For verily, your position in the Paradise will be at the last verse you recite! (Abu Dawud and At-Tirmidhi)

And lastly, we should learn to read Arabic so that we can begin studying the Arabic language, and then we can understand the meaning of the Qur'an while reading and reciting it.

The world of the Qur'an opens up once we begin to read and recite it--this is the very first right that the Qur'an has on us, and it is our responsibility as Muslims to read the Qur'an. Reading Arabic is the first step--if we can't do that yet, then it's time to learn!

He said that Arabic is too hard

2011-09-14T18:17:00.003-04:00

Several years ago, I was just starting to learn Arabic. And while taking a class at the mosque to learn the Arabic script, I went to a bookstore and found a few books on learning Arabic. I was a big fan of bookstores in those days, and would spend hours in there reading parts of different books that I couldn't afford to buy. But on the day that I happened to pick up these books on Arabic, an Arab man found me and asked me about studying Arabic. Then he went on to tell me how difficult the Arabic language is and how nobody can learn it unless they learn it from birth.

But I believe he was wrong.

I had a lot of opportunities for learning the Qur'anic Arabic in my first few years as a Muslim--not something that everyone can boast--and alhamdulillah now I can understand the vast majority of the Qur'an when I read or hear it, and hope to gain 100% comprehension within the next year. I'm certainly not going to be composing any Arabic poetry, or writing books in the language, but I'm pretty close to completing my goal of being able to understand the entire Qur'an in Arabic, without requiring a translation.

And I think that many Muslims have that same goal--to be able to read the Qur'an in Arabic and understand it. And honestly, it's a reasonable and realistic goal. Allah made it easy for us. Even though we might hear teachers say that the Qur'an is the most eloquent of Arabic language, and hear random Arabs say that Arabic is the most difficult language ever, we shouldn't buy into a myth of an unreachable Qur'an. No, we might not all be scholars of Arabic language, producing awe-inspiring poetry or even conversing in the language fluently. All we need is to be able to understand the Qur'an--not every last detail, not writing a tafseer, but to comprehend the text even at a basic level. And that is an amazing gift.

Don't be turned off by the naysayers, skeptics who think that Arabic is too hard. If your goal is the Qur'an, then inshaaAllaah you'll find it well within reach.

Transformed By the Qur'an

2011-08-16T12:03:00.000-04:00

I usually insist, when people ask me why I embraced Islam, on the importance for me of reading the Qur'an myself. While there are less relevant details I try to omit--why I felt compelled to read it in the first place, for instance--I focus on this point because it is truly what changed my heart.

Obviously, I read a translation. And even then, there's much I read which I still didn't understand. But from the first page, I read voraciously, daily, whenever I had the time. I didn't read a passage here or there, or hear random quotations fired like bullets by a preacher, but I had a personal, intimate dialogue with the Qur'an myself.

I don't think it's possible to have a similar dialogue with any other book--the miraculous nature of the Qur'an and its compelling inimitable rhetoric capture the mind and the heart of the reader. And so it's not surprising that those who hear the revelation and disbelieve in it are so scorned. At the same time, can I ever be grateful enough to have been guided by means of the Qur'an? That my heart was opened to its call?

Preparing for Your First Ramadan

2011-07-25T22:00:00.002-04:00

If you have embraced Islam sometime in the last year, then you're probably preparing right now for your first Ramadan. If you've not grown up with exposure to Muslim cultures, then you might discover many new customs, habits, clothes, and foods these days. Hopefully you'll make many new friends in addition to all the spiritual benefits and blessings that come with the month of fasting.

But while many Muslims look forward to Ramadan months in advance, if this is your first you might be feeling anxious--so I'd like to offer a few tips to help ease any worries ahead of time.

Intention

Much can be said about the importance of intention (niyyah) in Islam. We're told that we need to "make intention" before beginning any act of worship, like wudhu or prayer, and this goes for fasting too. But when it comes to Ramadan, and fasting in particular, you might find that with the correct intention, you are able to focus on and commit to an act more than if you were just doing it for yourself. So remind yourself that you are fasting for the sake of Allah, to follow His commands, and to seek His mercy and forgiveness.

Tips

Make your intention at the beginning of Ramadan to fast for the month for the sake of Allah, seeking His forgiveness.
Renew your intention daily before fajr to remind yourself why you're fasting.
While you make intention, take an opportunity to review the start and end times of the fast for the day on your timetable.

The Days of Ramadan

As soon as you can, get your hands on a prayer timetable. You're going to want to keep track of a few things during Ramadan (and all year round, so if you can get a yearly table for your area, you should.) For Ramadan, you'll want to know when it starts, the dates of certain days and nights, like which are even and which are odd, and when the 27th is, for example, when it ends, the time to start fasting and the time to stop fasting, and all prayer times throughout the day.

The First Day
It's not always possible to know ahead of time when exactly Ramadan is going to start because Muslims follow a lunar calendar for determining religious holidays. But you can have a pretty good idea. Each one of the 12 months is 29 or 30 days long, and the month before Ramadan is called Sha'ban. You'll want to find out from your local mosque when they expect Ramadan to be.

A note on moonsighting--it's unlikely that all mosques in your area will have the same start and end dates of Ramadan, because some use different criteria for sighting (or not sighting) the moon. You should pick one that you trust and stick with it.

They might have a date confirmed already based on astronomical calculations, so you'll know when to start fasting. Or, they might tell you when the 29th of Sha'ban will be, after which they will wait to see if the moon has been spotted. If it is spotted, then Ramadan officially starts that night. You'll want to check their website or call someone who might know in order to find out, if you're not able to attend maghrib and isha prayers at the masjid yourself.

In a Muslim calendar, the night precedes the day, so the first of Ramadan will start at maghrib prayer, and taraweeh prayers will begin on that night after Isha prayer.

If it is not spotted, then it means Sha'ban is lasting 30 days instead of 29. So do not fast on the 30th, but Ramadan will begin at maghrib the next day without any question of moon-sighting.

And don't forget to make your intention to fast for the month of Ramadan!

Tips

Find out when Ramadan starts by contacting a local mosque.
Get a hold of their prayer timetable as soon as you can--they might publish one before Ramadan, but should definitely have one afterwards.
Make plans for finding out if Ramadan has started--know which website to check, or number to call, if the date isn't already set.

The Night of Power

The Night of Power, Laylat al-Qadr, is a special night in the last 10 nights of Ramadan when your du'aa are most likely to be answered, so you definitely want to catch this night in prayer. It will be on the last odd nights of Ramadan, so you should keep an eye on your calendar/timetable. Many people believe it is on the 27th so you might find even bigger crowds at the mosque on those nights. Be prepared, and arrive early!

Tips

Make a small list of things you would like to make du'aa for, either before Ramadan or when it starts.
Use it to remember what you want to ask for throughout Ramadan and especially on the Night of Power (and all the nights it might be.)
Try to arrive early at the mosque in the last days of Ramadan--consider breaking your fast there!

The Last Day and Eid
The end of Ramadan comes with similar confusion, unless your mosque has already determined the dates. If the moon is sighted after the 29th, then Ramadan is only 29 days, and the following day will be the holiday Eid al-Fitr. If not, then you'll fast one more day and Eid will be after that. There's no fasting on Eid but lots of takbeer--saying Allaahu Akbar.

When You're Fasting

Starting the Fast
Another reason you'll want a timetable is to know what time in the morning the fast officially starts. It begins at the start time of the fajr prayer, so on your timetable that might be labeled as Fajr or possibly as Imsaak. This is probably going to be pretty early in the morning (especially during these longer summer days) but you still should get up to have a small snack or meal (called suhoor) before beginning the fast. Be sure that you're done by the time the fast begins.

A note on prayer times--they are based on the location of the sun in the sky and they will change daily and vary geographically. If you are travelling during Ramadan, you'll need to know the prayer times for all locations you'll be. You can find this online if you don't know of a mosque in the area. Many smartphones also have apps with prayer times, which you can adjust by changing your location. I use Guidance for my iPhone.

It's a good idea to renew your intention to fast at this time as well! The food you eat at suhoor is going to last you through the morning. Drink plenty of water and avoid having too much sugar early on. If you have a habit of drinking caffeine, you might want to drink some coffee with your suhoor to avoid getting headaches during the day.

Tips

Drink plenty of water at suhoor time to stay hydrated throughout the day.
Avoid sweets for suhoor which will make you hungry later on.

During the Fast
While fasting you need to abstain from all food (even gum) and water, as well as marital relations. You can resume all of this at night while you're not fasting.

A note on medical conditions--if you need to take regular medications, or have an illness which might prevent you from fasting, you should see a doctor to make sure it is safe, and see if you need to adjust your medication schedule. If you are still not able to fast, then you might be able to make up the days later if it's temporary, or feed a hungry person for each day if it's permanent.

Tips

Be extra-conscious of your behavior, and avoid lying, backbiting, gossip, and useless talk while fasting.
Use the fast as a chance to tell people about Islam.

Ending the Fast
As soon as the adhan is called for maghrib prayer, at sunset, you can break your fast. This is called iftaar. There is a du'a that you should make, and it's recommended to break your fast with dates and water. Then pray maghrib and enjoy your meal, and don't forget to thank and praise Allah and ask Him for forgiveness.

It's likely that you will have many opportunities to share an iftaar with other Muslims, and I would advise you to take advantage of these opportunities as much as possible. Many mosques host iftaars, sometimes donated and sometimes for a small charge. Look out for community iftaars, or if anyone invites you to a dinner at their home. This is a great way to learn more about Islam and Muslims through interaction, time to spend with Muslim friends you know, and to make new friends, while you share in the blessings of Ramadan.

Tips

Learn the du'aa to say when breaking the fast.
First break your fast with dates and water, and then pray maghrib before eating your meal.
Eat light and small quantities of food so you still feel fresh when you go pray taraweeh!

Taraweeh

Every night of Ramadan (starting with the 1st night, which will be before you've started fasting) there will be Taraweeh prayers during which the Qur'an will be recited, basically cover to cover over the 29-30 days. This starts after ishaa prayers at night, and will be either 8 rak'ahs or 21, recited in units of 2. There will probably be a short break after the first 4, and some people might leave after 8, or after 11, if the congregation is performing the witr prayer at that time. You can leave then, if you want, and pray witr in the masjid with the group or at home before suhoor. Or you can wait for the completion of 20 rak'ahs, followed by the 21st which will be the witr.

A note about witr--the word means "odd" and is basically a single unit of prayer, usually following 2 or more units, often separately but sometimes attached. (I.e., 2+1, or 2+2+1, etc, or sometimes 3.) This is a highly recommended prayer, in addition to the mandatory 5, which is prayed at night. It can be prayed anytime after ishaa prayer before fajr comes in, but it's recommended to pray it later, after sleeping.

Praying Taraweeh can be really rewarding, even if this is your first Ramadan and you don't understand a word of Arabic. Try to attend as much as you can to listen to the Qur'an being recited. To help understand what is being recited, read the translation before you come. And it's a much more rewarding experience than, say, watching TV. If you have some regular shows you watch, plan ahead to record them or stream them after Ramadan, so you can spend as much time as possible during Ramadan in worship.

Tips

Read a translation of the passage before coming to the prayer so you'll understand more of what's being recited.
Bring a bottle of water to help you hydrate between the prayers.
Come early so parking won't be a problem.
You can pray witr at home when you get up for suhoor if you didn't pray it at the mosque.

Days of Not Fasting

It's a reality that most women will not be fasting for a few days in Ramadan, and it's nothing to be embarrassed about. You can still attend iftaars--the other ladies will understand why you won't be fasting. For days of menstruation, you'll need to make up the fasts later in the year, before next Ramadan, so keep track of how many days of fasting you missed.

A note about menstruation--as soon as you notice it, you should break your fast. Do not pray salaah or fast during this time. You can resume fasting on a day when your period has completely finished before the time of fajr, but you can resume praying as soon as you make ghusl.

If you are pregnant or nursing, it might be best to check with a scholar for the ruling on making up fasts missed due to pregnancy or nursing. There is agreement that it is permissible to break the fasts, but different opinions regarding whether to make them up or feed a person for a missed day.

If you are travelling or too sick to fast for a few days during Ramadan, then you should make up the days later in the year.

Tips

If you're not fasting and need to make up days, mark the days on your calendar or timetable so you know how many to make up. (Don't throw it away until you've made them all up!)
If you're attending an iftar and haven't been fasting, let others go first in getting food as they have been fasting.

Eid al-Fitr

The holiday at the end of Ramadan is called Eid al-Fitr. The festivities begin after maghrib once Ramadan is officially over, by praising and glorifying Allah. It is good to repeat lots of takbeers at this time, until the Eid prayer in the morning. You should find out ahead of time where and what time the Eid prayer will be--and expect to arrive early. Whether at a mosque, convention center, hotel, or fairgrounds, traffic will probably be a problem. Planning to arrive early (at least 30 minutes before prayer time) is a good way to ensure you have enough time to wait in the traffic, park, and walk to the designated area.

The Takbeer
What you'll hear people repeating from maghrib the night before, up until the gathering and time of prayer, is the following:
Allaahu Akbar Allaahu Akbar Allaahu Akbar (Allaah is greater x3)
Laa Ilaaha Ill-Allaah (There is no god except Allaah)
Allaahu Akbar Allaahu Akbar
Wa Li-llaahi-lHamd (And to Allaah is all praise)

Feel free to join in!

The Prayer
The Eid prayer is much like a regular two-rak'ah prayer like fajr, prayed in congregation, though the takbeer phrase "Allaahu Akbar" will be repeated in the prayer more times than usual. The imam will usually explain this before it starts--just follow what he and the congregation do. After the prayer will be a short sermon, which you should sit and listen through before greeting everyone around you.

The Festivities
Try to find out about Eid activities in your area--there might be Six Flags visits, fairs for children, parties, and other activities to celebrate on Eid and the following days. Have fun!

Ramadan Mubarak!

I appreciate your feedback as comments and by email. If you have additional tips or recommendations, can correct any mistakes, or would like to re-post the article, please do let me know! Anything good is from Allah.

How to Keep Women Out of Your Da'wah Project

2011-07-21T06:50:00.000-04:00

I feel connected to American Muslim Da'wah Projects, having found Islam and grown as a Muslim with the help of volunteers working for Islam here in the US. Through networks of da'ees spanning the country, and even the globe, I've seen countless people find and embrace Islam. And the diversity of people seeking information about Islam requires a diverse pool of volunteers who can connect with them.

Unfortunately, now and again a da'wah project, or a voice within one, might seek to promote homogeneity among volunteers. But a da'ee in the USA is likely to face both men and women from different races, countries, and cultural backgrounds, and I think that an organization that doesn't include diversity in its volunteers is going to have trouble reaching an American audience. Specifically, a volunteer base that doesn't include women won't be effective in reaching women.

A majority of converts to Islam are women, so it seems strange to me that anyone giving da'wah would try to impede the participation of women in the da'wah effort. And it seems outright hypocritical to suggest that it's not appropriate for a Muslim woman to engage in dialogue about Islam--if it's wrong for a Muslim woman to talk to men to give da'wah, then how is it okay for a Muslim man to talk to women for the same purpose? Clearly the best approach is for women to be available to speak to women, and for men to be available to speak to men. And given that Islam is frequently under attack regarding its treatment of women, isn't it much more powerful for women themselves to dispel the common myths fueling those attacks, rather than men whose attitudes may inadvertently confirm them?

With women embracing Islam at three times the rate of men or more, we need more women giving da'wah, not less, who can answer the questions and provide follow-up to women learning about Islam. But I've still seen women prevented from being effective in da'wah by policies and more frequently by other volunteers who oppose their participation. Here's some signs it might be happening in an organization you're working with.

1. Women are not invited to participate.
This could happen a number of ways--is the organization really only open to a select "boys' club" of friends and colleagues, without inviting the community to participate generally? Is advertising restricted among a male-only circle via email, or in a masjid? If only men are being contacted to participate as volunteers, or serve on the board, then the crucial input of the community's sisters is being neglected.

2. If women come to your meetings, they must sit in another room. With the door closed.
Segregation can go too far. Picture a board meeting taking place in one of two adjoining rooms, where all the male board members sit except for one sister who is expected to sit in the other room with the door closed--she can neither see the other board members nor hear them well, and cannot be seen or heard herself. I'm sure that in a professional setting, these men wouldn't dare suggest that their female coworkers sit in another room, so why ask it of female board members? Separation prevents a few flow of ideas and places a barrier not just to seeing the opposite sex but from their contributions. Literally locking women out does not encourage them to participate or to voice their ideas; it devalues their opinions. And even if they try to participate, physical barriers prevent them from being heard and taken seriously by other members. This is not professional, and it's not the way an organization should conduct itself. Meetings should be open for fluid communication where everyone's voice can be heard equally.

3. The email list is used to express disapproval with women's participation in the organization.
Politics do not belong on mailing lists--it's unprofessional and immature--and the mailing list of an organization or a da'wah project should be treated with utmost professionalism. Are the members not representing Islam, after all? Using the mailing list as a means to voice one's opinion cheapens the discourse and turns people off. Using it to protest the contributions of women is not only offensive but can sabotage the productivity of the organization. Sending articles to promote segregation and marginalization of women in other countries, for example, only serves to isolate and attack women volunteers. The way men and women are separated in Saudi Arabia, for instance, might work fine for the Saudis but as a model won't translate well in the USA. Arguing about how the Saudis do it is neither relevant to the work of da'wah nor beneficial to an American da'wah project.

There are many da'wah projects tailored to American audiences, taking into account the different culture and attitude volunteers might face here in the USA rather than in Muslim countries they might have come from. Participation of women is one factor that American da'wah workers need to consider--if they want to keep women out, I'm sure they can. A bad attitude and behavior like I mentioned will keep many away--myself included. But what kind of da'wah is that, really?

Road Trip Number 3

2011-06-10T03:26:00.001-04:00

In just two short weeks my husband and I will begin our third road trip together. The first was our honeymoon, from Raleigh to Seattle in December 2009. Our second was last summer (2010), driving from Seattle to Dallas so I could attend an Arabic program, and our third will be the return trip from Dallas back to Seattle.

Our first cross-country road trip took over two weeks even though a direct, all interstate route might have taken a third of the time, but we had so much fun that we've enjoyed seeing other parts of the country as well. Our first trip took us through Great Smoky Mountains National Park, to the US Space and Rocket Center in Alabama, through Petrified Forest National Park in Arizona and up to the Grand Canyon after a snowfall. We stayed a few days in beautiful Sedona before breezing through Death Valley, and driving up the Oregon coast along US-101.

For our second trip, we wanted to visit a few more national parks, and stopped at Yellowstone, Grand Teton, and the Rocky Mountains. So between these two trips, we managed to drive through all the Western states except for one--Utah. And when planning this particular trip, we made sure to include at least one of Utah's many national parks on our route. Unfortunately, we won't be able to make too many times since we're pressed for time, but I think we will still have plenty of nice sights to see.

The Route (tentative)

View Larger Map

So in shaa Allaah this year's road trip (June 2011) will start with us leaving Dallas, TX on June 24th, heading westward towards Carlsbad, NM where we'll visit Carlsbad Caverns National Park.

From there we'll go north through Roswell (maybe stop and look around if there's anything fun there) and then towards Albuquerque, west across New Mexico and then across the NE corner of Arizona, crossing the Colorado River in Page and heading up into Utah. The only park we'll be visiting is Zion National Park, in the SW corner of the state.

After visiting Zion National Park we'll be taking the fastest route back to Seattle, through Salt Lake City then cutting across Idaho and Oregon before reaching Washington state.

Of course the last time we were in the American Southwest, it was December--not very hot. In fact, pretty chilly at some altitudes, with several feet of snow falling at the Grand Canyon. While we traveled last summer, the parks we visited were further north (temperatures dropped below freezing the night we spent in Montana) and at high altitudes so we mostly had comfortable temperatures, except in the Rockies, where it was a bit cold at the top. But this time we'll be facing a lot of arid heat--the National Park Service says that summer days in Zion NP are usually 95-110 degrees F but hopefully being in the early part of the summer it won't be quite that hot.

Any recommendations for summer travel? Additional sights to see along our route? Let me know in the comments!

Punctuality

2011-06-04T00:02:00.001-04:00

You might think that because the day of a Muslim is built around prayers which need to be performed at specific times, that Muslims would be fairly punctual people as a rule. But this seems not to be the case, even though I've heard several scholars remind listeners of the importance of being on time. I remember Shaykh Yaser Birjas indicating to students at a seminar that they should arrive for class like a mu'adhdhin arrives for prayer. (He has to arrive early enough to be ready to call as soon as the time for prayer comes in.) This suggests that Muslims should be acutely aware of time as part of their preparation for prayer, or class, or anything else.

After becoming Muslim, though, I started hearing plenty of jokes about a tendency of Muslims towards tardiness. Although, the observation relates mostly to religious and social functions because late arrivals to work or school often result in disciplinary action. I find American society generally to be less tolerant of tardiness than Muslims (so kudos to the Muslims for being so forgiving) but this can result in some confusion for the American Muslim community.

I heard the story of a convert who made the observation, on his first visit to jumu'ah prayer, that when he arrived--at the indicated time--only a few people were present, but during the sermon people continued arriving until the hall was filled by the time of the prayer. Yet I don't think this experience is rare.

Similarly, I've noticed that when attending Islamic lectures and classes, most respected teachers endeavor to begin and end on time. While helping to organize a 4-week da'wah training program a few years ago, I learned an important lesson regarding punctuality. The class was supposed to begin early on a Saturday morning, and though a few people showed up early, there were crowds coming through the door even after the "start" time. I wanted to wait for the students to settle in--and that was a mistake. The imam of the masjid told me that even if some people were still arriving, I should still start on time, and end on time.

To start with, punctuality is respectful of people's time--if they showed up on time, they shouldn't have to wait for the program to begin. Moreover, ending on time allows people to leave for other engagements they may have planned, instead of detaining them longer than they expected. And also, if an event fails to start on time, what incentive is there to arrive on time?

Since my own lesson on punctuality, I've made a point of observing when speakers (scholars, imams, community leaders, teachers, etc.) deliberately start on time--or as best they are able, when faced with logistical delays--and end on time. I understand it to be a part of the etiquette of being a speaker--of being a teacher, or an imam, and have found that the more knowledgeable, respected, and elder teachers usually strive for punctuality, even when students are late. For that reason, I don't accept that tardiness is religiously appropriate behavior--since it's not from the etiquette which I have witnessed from religious scholars.

I've even seen some scholars who seem to be as strict about punctuality as my high school band director--for us, it was an enforced rule. Students late to rehearsal would have to perform push-ups or run laps. Arriving late for a trip would mean getting left behind--nobody would wait. And if our rehearsals ran over schedule, even by as little as five minutes, the director would shorten the next day's rehearsal by the same amount. Breaks came regularly--and if they were delayed, then they were extended also. (Noting that breaks were usually barely 3-5 minutes, enough time to sit and drink water.)

When I'm in a class or a lecture where the speaker goes on--beyond an hour, sometimes beyond two, I find myself becoming irritated and even resentful towards the speaker, while my concentration plummets. Especially when scheduled breaks have been neglected by the speaker.

How is a student supposed to feel after arriving on time and waiting over an hour or more for an instructor, who then proceeds to lecture for an hour or two without giving students a break? I think the only way a student can feel, in that situation, is that the instructor lacks respect for his time, leading the student to not respect the instructor.

So I'll emphasize again why tardiness is not something seen in the most erudite of scholars, and why I don't believe that it is religiously appropriate. And I maintain that view despite the prevalent disregard for time in some Muslim cultures.

Unfortunately, punctuality can even be an inconvenience in a culture with more lenient and flexible schedule. My husband stresses the importance of arriving promptly to dinner parties--that is, he wants to arrive at the time indicated on the invitation. However, I find myself stalling our departure in order to avoid inconveniencing the hostess. Since most guests tend to arrive 30 minutes or more late, she might not be fully prepared for guests if we arrive "on time." And she might struggle trying to make conversation with me while still cooking and cleaning, leaving me in an awkward position while he goes off to another room with the host.

On the other hand, an American crowd might be expected to arrive 5-10 minutes before the scheduled time. That's why there can be some confusion. Of course, punctuality should be the norm for all events, but I'm not sure what it would take for people to accept that on a wide scale. It's not easy to enforce it with other people, but the least we can do is enforce it on ourselves and make punctuality a fixed attribute for which we are known.

Finding Dignity in Hijab

2011-04-29T03:16:00.000-04:00

I wear a hijab now. Hijabs are cool.

That's a line that should ring familiar to Doctor Who fans--the Eleventh Doctor (played by Matt Smith) likes to justify his odd clothing choices in this fashion. For instance:

Yeah, it's cool, bow ties are cool. (The Eleventh Hour)
It's a fez. I wear a Fez now, Fezes are cool. (The Big Bang)
I wear a Stetson now. Stetsons are cool. (The Impossible Astronaut.)

And the hijab line? It's been making its way around Twitter recently, apparently showing that even hijabis think Doctor Who is cool. But with recent headlines about the hijab, maybe it's time to give the iconic Muslim headscarf a PR makeover, of sorts.

We've heard France banning face veils, thinking to save women from male oppression. We've read NPR's story about some women's choice to remove the hijab, patting them on the back for fighting against what is still seen as male oppression. An article by Leila Ahmed appeared this week at foreignpolicy.com challenging the idea that hijab represents patriarchy. And last week I had to monitor a chatroom discussion about hijab, and listen to women from a variety of backgrounds parrot the same idea they've been fed--that hijab is about male domination, a symbol of suppression.

And I recall the quirky wisdom of a local sister who once remarked that if men were really setting the dress code, women wouldn't be veiled, they'd be wearing bikinis. Some men feel possessive about their female relatives and might want them to be dressed modestly, sure, but the rest of womankind? Ever hear of a place called Hooter's?

Now if a woman understands this about men, that they are generally attracted to women and given the option would like to see whatever bits they can, then she has two options, as I see it. First, she can give men the responsibility and control over her body when she decides to freely display her flesh. She can say that they're responsible for what they see, what they think of her because of what they see. Some might be responsible, then--they might do as the Qur'an says, and avert their gaze. Or they might hoot, holler, and harass her when she walks by.

Some might say it's the man's responsibility anyway--he's responsible for looking, or not. And I won't argue with that. But frankly, if the woman doesn't want to be looked at, then she has a responsibility too. And the second option is to take that responsibility, to take charge of her dignity and cover whatever she doesn't want any passerby to see.

One of the first feelings I had when wearing full hijab for the first time was dignity. Covering didn't make me feel cowardly, or weak, but strong and dignified. And I think this word--the one I've used three times in the past three sentences--should be the new word to associate with hijab: dignity.

If we see a picture of an impoverished young woman in a war-torn country wearing dirty clothes and fraying fabric to just cover the top of her head as well, does she symbolize the oppression of patriarchy? Or a symbol of preserving the last vestiges of dignity, despite oppression?

Many of the arguments I have heard from hijabis in defense of covering relate to dignity. Have you heard the sisters with advanced degrees tell how covering forces coworkers and peers to treat them based on their competence instead of their appearance? Dignity. Or have you heard some college students frame it as their form of feminism, representing the strength of their character against social pressures to conform? Dignity. Or ladies who insist on reserving their beauty exclusively for their beloved? Dignity. And what does it take to choose to dress differently than everyone on the street, to explicitly identify with a maligned minority (in non-Muslim countries), to be prepared to take a stand on faith, while anyone else is free to keep quiet? Dignity.

That's what hijab is. Dignity.

Qur'an Goals

2011-04-14T22:40:00.000-04:00

Last Ramadan I listened to a webinar (or maybe two) about making personal goals in regards to studying the Qur'an. And despite seeming to have been studying it for the last seven months, I haven't done a good job of setting clear goals and consequently, haven't accomplished them.

Last Ramadan, for instance, I wanted to finish reading the Qur'an in Arabic, for the first time. Turns out that I bit off more than I could chew with that one. Which is fine, I think--so what if it took longer, as long as I did eventually finish it, right? Well the problem was that after Ramadan I came to Texas and as I started learning Arabic, I found a whole new set of goals--daily, and weekly, but not long-term precisely. And I found myself with trouble deciding which path I wanted to take--for instance, should I work on memorizing, or maybe trying to get a tajweed ijazah. For me, there was just too much going on, and I think I was behind other students in just general familiarity with the Qur'an.

So, after seven months, I'm starting fresh with my Qur'an goals, and renewing my intentions. I'll be concentrating on just one for now, and that is finishing it in Arabic. I have the benefit of understanding quite a lot of it right now, so it's more beneficial reading than before, but I'm not reading for depth right now, but to accomplish two things. First, I want to get into the habit of reading new material (what I haven't memorized or gotten used to reciting) daily, out loud. I've been weak about this before, spending personal time with the Qur'an, but I think it's important for me before I move back to memorizing. And I want to finish going through the Qur'an entirely, and get into the habit of completing its reading on a regular basis.

And once I do finish, after focusing for a while on just the one goal, then I'll shift to another specific goal, and I can focus on it. And then, hopefully and inshaaAllaah, achieve it.

Summer 2011 Programs for Muslims

2011-04-08T11:19:00.001-04:00

Just a list, in case anyone is looking for something to do this summer. These are all pretty much based in the USA or open to Americans, even if they take place in another country. I don't have any information about programs from other countries. (Edited to Add: Global Section added at the bottom in case anyone wants to add more on in comments)

Intensives
SunniPath Qibla Summer Intensive in Amman, Jordan
Term 1: June 18-July16, 2011
Term 2: July 20-August 20, 2011

Zaytuna Summer Arabic Intensive in Berkely, California
June 20-August 12, 2011

Bayyinah Qur'an Intensive in Dallas, Texas
June 3-July 1, 2011

Rihla 2011 Deen Intensive in Bursa, Turkey
June 30-July 21, 2011

Ilm Summit in Houston, Texas
July 8-17, 2011

Conferences/Conventions
Reviving the Islamic Spirit-USA in Long Beach, California
May 28-30, 2011

ICNA-MAS Convention in Hartford, Connecticut
May 28-30, 2011

ISNA Convention in Chicago, Illinois
July 1-4, 2011

Global
World Conference on Riba in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
July 26-27, 2011

Anything missing? Leave a note in the comments and I'll try to add it to the list.

Memorizing Translation

2011-04-04T07:00:00.000-04:00

I once knew a boy who has made to memorize some surahs from the Qur'an from listening to Yusuf Ali's translation on audio tape. And he was made to recite what he had memorized in a tajweed class (of all places, right?) to an imam who was shocked and tried to explain to the boy's parent why this was not a good idea.

Presumably, the intention was that the boy would learn the text in meaning this way, rather than "just" a text which he wouldn't be able to fully understand. But a translation is not equivalent to the Qur'an. Having spent the last few weeks reading the Qur'an in Arabic and trying to discern the meaning from it without relying on an English translation has taught me to appreciate the difference, and what is lost through translation.

But think of a community that doesn't have the ability to understand to Arabic. Without it, they might lose even the appreciation of the Arabic and place more value on the translation, even to the point that they would memorize it as though it were the words of Allah.

We're supposed to have a relationship with the Qur'an but how can we if we can't even understand it? We shouldn't let children grow up without at least a basic understanding of Arabic. Because without Arabic, as a community we lose the Qur'an.

Wrong to Call Out Bigotry?

2011-04-01T12:28:00.000-04:00

One of my favorite books is Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People. I'm surprised I didn't bring it with me to Texas, but a summary is available online if I ever want a quick review. (http://www.westegg.com/unmaintained/carnegie/win-friends.html)

Because my recent post about political correctness and bigotry got a little popular, I've been giving more thought to the idea. I do think that "political incorrectness" serves as a mask for all kinds of bigotry--racism, anti-Semitism, Islamophobia, and more. But I doubt that the purveyors of it think of themselves as bigots. With the exception of some elites who might be deliberately "stirring the pot" I think most people probably believe their grievances are valid. Their irrational hatred, fear, or disdain seems to them to be sensible and obvious, though unpopular.

It is very easy for a person to insulate himself among similar ideas and points of view, perpetuating his belief system. For instance, I can choose to read only articles and blogs that I already agree with, and only discuss these issues with people who share my perspective. But if I do that, then I'm just stunting my own growth in understanding.

Although, this doesn't mean that by conversing with people of opposing opinions I necessarily enhance my understanding--a lot of people can talk and argue without listening or absorbing the arguments of their opponent. The key, I think, is to deliberately keep an open mind.

And that's where the Carnegie book comes in. A few of his points are especially relevant here. When "handling people," we shouldn't criticize. If you're trying to explain, for instance, that calling Islam a cult is stupid, saying that the majority of Muslims sympathize with terrorism is a lie, if you get straight to the point and call your opponent a stupid liar, you've pretty much closed the door to his understanding your point of view.

Another key strategy to "win people to your way of thinking" is to "show respect for the other person's opinions." Yep. Even if they are stupid lies. (Bad Amy!)

Granted, these techniques are for one-on-one interaction. Personal interaction can be extremely powerful, so it's important for Muslims to articulate their beliefs to their neighbors and communities. But in the public sphere, the impersonal world of media and blogs and punditry, perhaps other strategies are more appropriate.

I would be interested in learning the Real reasons that an individual has to oppose building a mosque, for instance, especially if it's not anywhere near him. I wonder if most people would maintain such acerbic criticism if someone sat down with them and listened to their concerns with an open mind, and let them offer solutions to ameliorate those concerns.

The Good, the Bad, and the Facebook

2011-04-01T00:50:00.004-04:00

Seeing some tweets recently about canceling and renewing Facebook accounts, I thought I finally wanted to make a post about it.

I am at the particular age which enables me to have seen Facebook from its much earlier days. I first heard of it my junior year in college from a girl who was "pledging" my sorority with me. Then, it was only for college students--you had to have a .edu email address--and mostly relevant for just your own university. And I thought it's greatest usefulness was being able to select my class schedule and find other students in the class. That function, of course, no longer exists.

In fact, Facebook is completely different. Things started getting strange, I thought, when it became open to other than college students--high schoolers, even middle schoolers. Then their parents. I started getting "friend requests" from all sorts of people and Facebook in general only became less interesting to me, and seldom useful.

So I guess I don't really understand how people find it burdensome and time-wasting, that they feel the need to completely cut it off, since it isn't really a part of my life. See, I only log in about twice a week on average, and almost never for more than 5 minutes.

So when I hear people discussing the evils or the benefits of Facebook, I just wonder why it's so important in the first place. I know some people are able to use it successfully for marketing, for announcements about events in the community, or to keep in touch with friends. But personally I hate having to rely on Facebook to hear about programs. (Whereas I really love subscribing to RSS feeds, which I can easily filter.) In fact, I actually hardly ever hear about activities through Facebook--usually through email or occasionally through Twitter.

Then I wonder--if I feel this way, why is it such a big deal for everyone else? Or is it?

In What Order?

2011-03-24T07:00:00.001-04:00

I recently heard a convert say that he was an "American Muslim, in that order." I took issue with the point because it seems to force a collision between two ideas that needn't collide. It seems to say that if he had to choose only one, either American or Muslim, that he'd choose to be American. I don't even think most Americans would put their country above God. Don't they say "God, family, country," in that order?

Personally, I don't think the sequence of the words should extend their meaning. One might call himself an American Muslim to distinguish himself among Muslims from other countries, while one might call himself a Muslim American to distinguish himself among other Americans. The two terms describe different spheres by which a person can identify himself, and affect different parts of his life. You could say, for example, that a woman is a teacher and a mother, describing first her career path, and also her role in the home, while both make up parts of her identity.

Similarly, we can describe a person's identity without having to prioritize either nationality or religion. But forcing one to supersede the other undermines at least one of these components. In this case, Islam is undermined, as if the speaker were saying that he was only Muslim insofar as it was compatible with whatever he valued as being "American."

I consider myself to be an American Muslim (or Muslim American--whatever) without conflict. But I know that when I die, only one of these will matter, and that's my priority. In fact, I think that's what makes me a Muslim in the first place.

No More Answer Keys

2011-03-21T07:00:00.001-04:00

Because I studied engineering in college, I developed a certain kind of study habits which served me well in technical courses. For the most part, my "studying" was built on acquiring a skill--the skill to solve the problems on which I would be tested. It meant becoming familiar with a procedure--how to find an answer to a problem with a particular set of given information. However, the tools necessary to answer the problem would usually be available--that is, the equations and constants--and I just needed to know how to use them.

So most of my study time was spent practicing rather than actually memorizing anything. If I would use something often enough, I might memorize it naturally but I didn't spend much effort towards memorizing.

And it was common to find, in my engineering (and math and science) textbooks, that the answers would be available in the back of the book. Because the point of the problem was never to find an answer, but rather to learn how to solve it. So having the answer available was really important--even if it was just a number. Because it could indicate whether or not I was solving the problem correctly. It never mattered what the answer actually was, but whether or not I could solve the problem. Instructors often let us bring in our own formula sheets--a page or more of formulas, diagrams, constants, whatever we thought we might need--for an exam, knowing that no amount of data we could fit on a sheet of paper would serve us any good if we hadn't learned how to use it.

So I have developed this approach to studying that I've found is not actually serving me very well right now. Learning a new language, quite obviously, requires a lot of memorization. And it seems that theory (never stated, just my observation) is that with memorization, the skills will come.

Suppose you want to write a sentence in a language you're studying. You'll need to know the meanings of the words to use--the equivalent vocabulary in both languages. You'll need to understand something about grammar, how to actually construct the sentences and use the words. And you might need to know something about conjugation and morphology in order to use the words correctly in the proper places.

So the way I have been accustomed to studying would familiarize me with grammar, and how to construct the sentence, and the conjugation and morphology would get me the right word forms. When I was working on writing, answer keys would have been really helpful, to make sure that I was getting the sentences right. Being able to check the solution while still solving a problem is incredibly useful--you can note the mistake right away, rather than continuing to make the mistakes for days or weeks before seeing the answer or taking an exam to find out that you were wrong. Never underestimate the power of immediate feedback.

Now this much aside, where I struggle is with knowing the words to use in the first place! And in this, an answer key won't help so much as a dictionary. How long does it take to grow a dictionary in your brain? I have a habit of just looking things up that I don't know, rather than memorizing them to use later. I'm used to being able to look them up. But that's not going to gain me fluency in a new language.

So right now I'm trying to train myself to squeeze all these words into my brain with flashcards and repetition, and I'm finding it very hard to retain it all. Now, I'm told that there is a solution to this problem--to speak (or even write) in the language as frequently as possible. I believe it's true, because I know that every time a word is recalled in the mind, it is reinforced, more likely to "stick," if you will, and recalling the word in different ways (through listening, reading, writing, and speaking) will reinforce stronger than using it in just one of these ways.

On the other hand, I don't actually know enough vocabulary in the first place to be able to use it regularly. I can't actually express my thoughts in the language--though I know a few words, there are so many more which I don't know, but need in order to express my thoughts. When reading or listening, I hear far more words that I don't know than ones which I do. (This goes for regular speech, not for Qur'an, where the situation is reversed.) Which means I'm constantly having to look things up, and missing the meaning altogether--extremely frustrating.

And I'm hoping that the more I learn, I'll get out of this really uncomfortable phase of being almost able to use the language to using it in earnest. Any tips to move on, and get over this hump?

The Absence of Political Correctness

2011-03-17T07:00:00.000-04:00

Has anyone else noticed that in the last few years, attacks on minorities--which should be rebuked as bigoted and racist--try to claim legitimacy by saying they are only speaking out against "political incorrectness." As if to say that being polite and avoiding racist comments is just political correctness, and somehow obfuscating the truth?

I guess that we have this term--political correctness--to describe language which avoids offense. I guess the sense is that politicians should speak a certain way to avoid offending their voters, but any kind of official language nowadays usually aims to avoid offense. Or does it?

If it is politically correct to avoid offense, then what do we call language which is offensive (bigoted, even racist)? Apparently, the purveyors of such inflammatory rhetoric defend their bigotry by claiming that they merely lack political correctness, or by even attacking political correctness. Doing so suggests that they--by means of aggressive language smearing whatever target group--are actually speaking the truth in the face of a propaganda machine which is trying to hide it.

In other words, they're trying to say that they are not in fact racist (or Islamophobic or anti-Semitic or any other kind of bigot) but they're just speaking the truth.

But I think that is the sinister face of intolerance--it believes in its own validity. And it thinks that it's okay to smear an entire group of people based on the actions of a few--or even based on their own imagined superiority.

So when a politician gets up and says that he is speaking out against political correctness by suggesting that all Muslims are terrorists, he is in fact trying to defend statements that he knows a civilized society ought to reject. When someone writes a book filled with lies about Islam, what should he call it but "The Politically Incorrect Guide to Islam." (And having read it, I feel comfortable saying that it is filled with lies.) And then the opposition to their Islamophobic propaganda is accused of just being politically correct by speaking out in defense of Muslims.

Now, verbal attacks on Muslims have become commonplace in today's political discourse, but the effect of bigotry disguised as truth has spread. Take, for example, the video posted by UCLA student Alexandra Wallace in which she criticizes the "manners" of her peers (specifically, Asian students in the library.) She starts her rant by saying "So we know that I’m not the most politically correct person so don’t take this offensively." In other words, she admits that she's about to be very offensive but defends herself by saying she's just not politically correct. As if that's a legitimate excuse. And shouldn't it be? After all, that's what so many politicians are doing when they attack Muslims, blacks, or poor people.

And she begins to describe her response by saying "So being the polite, nice American girl that my momma raised me to be..." Really? In a video to be posted on youtube, saying offensive things about "Asians" generally, she considers herself to be polite and nice?

What is it going to take for people to see offensive speech for the offense that it is?

A Funny Thing Happened When I Learned to Type in Arabic

2011-03-16T08:00:00.000-04:00

When I started studying Arabic, I made a point early on of typing in Arabic. Then, most of the lessons were in English, but frequently used some Arabic vocabulary. And so at first I only learned to type those words in Arabic, and it was slow going, having to shift back and forth between keyboards, frequently having to check the keyboard location of some letters. But I was persistent.

I labeled the keys on my keyboard with a permanent marker (black keys, silver marker) and kept a "key" of their locations on my screen whenever I would be typing in Arabic--basically a list showing which English character corresponded with an Arabic character, laid out like a keyboard. I used it for a couple weeks before not really needing it beyond the addition of harakaat, and now I don't need it at all.

And the characters I drew on my keyboard have long since rubbed off. Because I started early, I was already typing away in Arabic while many of my peers were just ordering stickers to put on their keyboards to help.

But the more frequently I would type in Arabic, the more I began to notice a peculiar problem. On the occasions when I would like to type an Arabic word in flowing English and with Roman characters, I would find myself automatically striking the keys corresponding to the Arabic spelling. For instance, in trying to type out the word استعانة by spelling it as "isti'aanah" I would actually reflexively type "hsjuhkm" and keep going. In fact, it takes me at least two or three times longer to type the transliterated word than to type it in Arabic, because I have to stop and sometimes even (gasp!) look at the keyboard to check the English letters! And without surprise, I have a similar problem transliterating into Arabic, (eg, New York becomes نيو يورك,) albeit the difference is less pronounced since my Arabic typing is still slower than my English typing.

So I can type in English fine and in Arabic well but when I try to mix the two my brain has a really hard time coping with the transformation, and transliterating becomes a real difficulty, trying to make what are letters in one language correspond to sounds in another. It gets easier if I am able to see or look at a word already transliterated--then I can easily find the correct characters to represent it. But the first time writing it, I frequently end up with a weird jumble of letters that don't make sense either way, and have to slow down and think it through before I can type it. Has anyone else had a similar problem?

Upcoming Book on American Muslim Women (press release)

2011-03-15T08:00:00.011-04:00

New Book Explores Lives of American-Born Muslim Women

WASHINGTON D.C. USA – March 14, 2011 – Islam has become one of the hottest of hot button topics in America. Time Magazine featured the rise of Islamophobia on its cover (August 30, 2010) and attacks on Muslims and mosques are taking place regularly across the United States. Pundits and politicians raise the stakes by questioning whether it is possible for an American to be both a good Muslim and a good citizen. Muslim American women are the subject of endless discussions regarding their role in society, their veils as symbols of oppression or of freedom, their identity and their patriotism.

In this polarized climate, a new book challenges stereotypes about being Muslim in America through the stories of forty women. I Speak for Myself: American Women on Being Muslim(May 2, 2011, White Cloud Press) brings together a diverse group of women, all born and raised in the United States, telling their stories of faith, family, and country.

The book editors are Maria Ebrahimji, executive editorial producer at CNN in Atlanta, and Zahra Suratwala, a writer and editor who owns Zahra Ink, a writing firm in Chicago. The editors want to fill a gap in current literature on American Islam by bringing out the stories of American-born Muslim women between the ages of 20 and 40. Ebrahimji notes that “As a member of the mainstream media, I am frequently exposed to the stereotyping of my faith, and this book was created to present the public with more candid, realistic portraits of a diverse group of women who are proud of their faith and their country.”

Readers of I Speak for Myself are presented with a kaleidoscope of deeply personal stories. A common theme linking these intimate self-portraits is the way each woman uniquely defies labeling, simply by defining for herself what it means to be American and Muslim and female. Each story is a contribution to the larger narrative of life stories and life work of a new generation of Muslim women.

Though the book’s official release date is May 2, it is currently available now for pre-order on Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble and White Cloud Press. The suggested retail price is $16.95.

The book has already caught the attention of thought leaders who are calling the book an important addition to the literature on religious pluralism in America.

Jim Wallis, founder of the Sojourners magazine and faith community calls I Speak for Myself “a very important contribution to the growing interfaith dialogue in this country.”

Her Majesty Queen Noor notes that “By telling their stories they offer us new perspectives that are vital to the peace building process, and through their honesty and courage they are making a lasting contribution to the search for cross-cultural understanding.”

Zainab Salbi, founder of Women for Women International says that this is “a must read for anyone curious to understand Islam from a woman’s and an American-Muslim perspective. I Speak for Myself is the story of every woman embodied in voices of today’s American Muslim woman.”

Bestselling author and school builder Greg Mortenson (Three Cups of Tea) feels that “this collection of essays . . . is empowering and inspiring, and a vital part of any education.”

For more information and dialogue on the book and American Muslim women, please check out www.facebook.com/ispeakformyself, www.twitter.com/ispeakformyself and the website, www.ispeakformyself.com.

Reflecting on Outliers

2011-03-14T08:00:00.000-04:00

My husband recommended that I read Outliers: The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell, and I'll admit that it was definitely a good read. It was interesting to see that what made people "outliers" wasn't just their hard work or dedication, but a series of opportunities at just the right time. And even our heritage, going back generations, has an impact on who we are in even the most subtle ways

For me, it was an excellent reminder about the Qadr of Allah, and His favors to us. We might tend to think that the education we received and the wealth we earn are products of our own effort. But someone with more education might earn less, and someone with less education might earn more. Someone might be scraping by at the poverty level despite hard work, and someone else might be born into wealth despite laziness.

We still have choices to make, and we'll be accountable for our deeds, that's what we really earn in this life. But we shouldn't be deluded about what we are provided, that we earned it or even deserve it--we can't take it with us, anyway.

New Tech

2011-03-13T08:00:00.002-04:00

Friday, March 11, was the release date for the iPad 2. When Apple announced, on March 3, its new tablet device, I found myself eagerly reading all the news about it I could find. For the last few months, I've started to want an iPad--especially for reading books and documents, some of which has become awkward on my PC while I'm trying to do other things simultaneously (e.g., take notes.) And since my husband has had one for a while, I already know of several Apps for the iPad which I'll be quick to download inshaaAllah.

To save myself some of the hassle of waiting in line, only to risk the store having sold out of the model I wanted already, I ordered online. I almost wished I'd waited in line myself after hearing that some of my friends opted to wait in line, and after listening to their excitement as they started to play with their new toys. But then again, I am glad I avoided the hassle, even though it means a little wait. And I was awake late (thanks to a particularly bizarre sleep schedule these days) so my order was placed 16 minutes after the Apple Store opened online ordering. (And the reason it took me 16 minutes to order was how long I took deciding on a Smart Cover color--I went for red, in the end.) I was hoping it would be one of the first shipped, and it seems that's the case, as it's already on its way. (The cover, however, seems like it might take longer.)

I can't wait!

What's Said About Islamophobia

2011-03-12T08:00:00.006-05:00

It's been a rough week for American Muslims. With the ICNA Relief fundraiser protest making big news (though it happened a couple weeks ago) and Peter King's congressional hearings, attempting to legitimize prevalent marginalizing stereotypes about Muslims, I've been confused myself about even what to say. The attacks on Muslims seem bizarre and senseless to me, and I haven't even found words to reply.

But not everyone has been rendered speechless. In these days when Shari'ah is being widely misunderstood, the voices below demonstrate wisdom, reason, and calm in response to seemingly frantic anger directed at Muslims, and are worth hearing.

The first, Shaykh Hamza Yusuf on Riz Khan: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkzDUJHEw8Q&feature=player_embedded

The second, Shaykh Yasir Qadhi in a Tennessee newspaper, posted at MuslimMatters: http://muslimmatters.org/2011/03/11/yasir-qadhi-a-proud-patriotic-shariah-practicing-american/

An Abaya Trend

2011-03-11T08:00:00.000-05:00

For a long time, I have been a fence-sitter. I've been wearing hijab for years, but a lot of times have felt that it's not quite enough--that it's time for me to put on an abaya or jilbab over my jeans. And I've been unfortunate to feel discomfort both ways--if I'd wear just jeans, even with a long shirt or dress (to my knees), I would feel a little exposed, like I should cover more--especially around Muslims, or visiting the masjid. But if I'd wear an abaya, I'd feel uncomfortable in it too, especially if I was anywhere other than the masjid.

Part of the problem has been my bad experiences with jilbabs and abayas in general--I never had any that fit quite right. Almost all the ones I owned were too short (legs and arms too) and I hated the style and cut of them. The better-fitting ones I had been able to find, I didn't mind wearing on occasion, but the heavy polyester wasn't comfortable, and the embroidery made me feel that they were more suited to special occasions than every day wear.

I also had some silly standards when shopping, in the past--in addition to being long enough and cut a certain way, I was picky about colors, too. For instance, I really don't like wearing black, as a rule. So no wonder I had a hard time finding abayas that would satisfy me.

At the same time, when I came to Texas, I realized that I'd be spending nearly every day with what is pretty much an abaya/jilbab-only crowd. And I considered that a good thing. I figured if I had to wear an abaya every day, then I'd get over my hang-ups about them. And finally, six months later, I'm starting to make progress on that front.

Remember the advice that if you want to start behaving a certain way, then spend time around people who already behave that way. I know one thing that made wearing hijab easier for me was being around girls from the MSA who wore it. I expected the same with the abaya.

But I still wasn't happy wearing an abaya every day, because of the same problems--mainly, they didn't fit properly, the fabric was uncomfortable, and I always felt like I looked silly wearing clothes that didn't really fit--especially over my better-fitting more stylish clothes that I was more accustomed to wearing.

So in order to really get into abaya mode, I started making conscious observations about the dresses of my fellow students. I didn't feel comfortable wearing my abayas in public, but I thought it might be different if I were wearing any of the more stylish and better-fitting abayas of my peers. So I took to the internet (not being familiar with any Islamic clothing shops here in Texas, though I'm sure there are a few) with a more specific idea about what I was looking for--and I did find an online store which offered abayas in the styles I liked, with a wide range of sizes, and allowed for the specific tailoring I needed (specifically, a few more inches of fabric in length.) I chose the most basic and inexpensive style, since I was weary of ordering from an online store.

I didn't know what to expect, so when it arrived just a week later I was extremely pleased with the results. I had, for the first time, an abaya that finally fit me properly, and I was eager to wear it to school. In fact, I liked it so much that I hated to wear any other one until I got a few more in the mail. Since then, I've made two more purchases from the same store, starting to expand my abaya wardobe (practical, since I do wear them almost every day of the week to class) and I plan to continue to purchase from them in the future.

And I was right--I feel much more comfortable wearing these in public than the ones I already owned. It's amazing how big of a difference it made. I wouldn't say I feel comfortable wearing them all the time, but I don't mind wearing them now, which is a big step for me.

Texas Life

2011-03-10T07:00:00.000-05:00

I didn't know exactly what to expect when I moved to Texas. I had rented an apartment over the phone, without ever visiting the DFW area where I'd be spending the next year.

And honestly, Texas has been the butt of many jokes between me and my husband--we like to call it the One Star State. (Note: I've heard people wrongly say "so-and-so and I" so many times lately--they should say "and me," it almost sounds wrong to say "me" even though it's correct.)

Dallas is definitely not one of America's jewels. It seems to be known for its air pollution, football, and almost year-round heat (and now its inability to cope with winter weather) and even high crime. It's even on this list of 10 worst cities to raise a family. In general, the people aren't really that friendly (Carolina folks are nicer, in my opinion) and the scenery is just tiresome (I'm missing the picturesque horizons from Seattle, not to mention the greenery.) I hate driving around here, because despite the sign (from my honeymoon drive through Texas two Decembers ago), drivers are aggressive and either inconsiderate or oblivious to other drivers.

But there is something here which maybe isn't expected--a well-established and thriving Muslim community, including open and active masajid, and a number of well-educated scholars and imams. In fact, though my husband used to joke about hating to come visit me here in Texas, the last time he was here he remarked that Dallas actually might be a nice place to settle down--due especially to the masjid, surrounded by neighborhoods full of Muslims. Maybe that's easy to say in the middle of winter when daily highs are only rarely over room temperature, but I think it is true that Dallas is a good place for Muslims. Or maybe not Dallas specifically, but its suburbs--Irving, Plano, Richardson, Arlington, Colleyville, etc.

I'm not convinced that I'd like to settle here but I can't deny that the community is very welcoming. And while I can't disguise my eagerness to return to Seattle, some major credit should go to the leaders of the Dallas Muslim community for all their efforts to make this place such a great place for Muslims to live.

Tips for Converts

2011-03-09T08:00:00.000-05:00

Yesterday a great post appeared at the suhaibwebb.com blog, including a list of 12 Tips for the Convert Muslim by brother Alex. I wanted to expound on some of the brother's advice. If you haven't yet read that article, I would encourage you to do so before reading this post, to gain perspective on my comments herein.

To start with, I think points 1 (Practice Islam as much as you can) and 11 (Stay away from extremism) might need to go hand in hand. The over-zealous convert is a common story, where a person dives head-first into Islam and leaves everything else behind, and adopts rigid opinions about food and clothes. But like the brother says, "Keeping up with your devotional practices is something that will strengthen your faith immensely." So in the practice of Islam, especially in the beginning, I'd qualify the first tip by saying focus more energy on the devotional practices--prayer, reading Qur'an, fasting if it's Ramadan--and less on external things like food and clothes.

His second point (respecting parents) was one of my crucial mistakes as a convert--I really wanted to debate my parents, instead of just trying to improve myself. It's now one of my biggest regrets--thankfully, my relationship has been improving now that I've backed off and just tried to be a good daughter.

As for his third point (finding a teacher), I'm afraid it might not be practical for everyone, and I suspect that it's probably much easier for brothers than sisters, and might be harder in some communities than others. Sometimes an imam might offer classes for sisters, or even open classes for the community, which are important, but a sister can't visit socially with a male teacher. And finding female teachers is sometimes difficult--not that the women are lacking in knowledge, but are usually busy taking care of their families. And finding time to visit with a teacher on a daily basis isn't something that most people will be able to do. So I would advise for sisters especially to try to find any ongoing classes at the masjid--especially ones geared towards sisters, if available, where they can meet other converts or other women in the community. Finding a casual halaqah might also suffice, if no teacher can be found. Here in Dallas there are tons of programs for Muslims at every stage, and plenty of teachers as well. Not everywhere has that advantage, and sometimes taking classes online (not just reading websites and watching videos, but real classes with a remote teacher) might be another alternative for Muslims in more isolated communities. (Or living in areas where the nearest mosque is hours away.)

For his fifth point (learning Arabic), I'm thinking it might be easier said than done. Being in a full-time Arabic study program myself, I know it's not easy to commit to learning Arabic. Finding a good class locally might be the best way to go, I think, and not putting too much pressure on oneself. For a new convert, especially older converts, things like learning how to pray can be really overwhelming, with just that small amount of Arabic. I might advise not to rush if Arabic seems intimidating, and find a class moving at a comfortable pace. I do think Arabic is important, but not a priority soon after converting.

As for his seventh point (maintaining identity) I think this is much harder for sisters than for brothers. In fact, it's something I still struggle with. I don't even know for sure what my "identity" really is. When I converted to Islam, I was active in a sorority and hanging out with my friends frequently included alcohol. That's not an "identity" that can be preserved inside Islam, I think. But for a sister, donning hijab will inevitably cause identity issues. Whereas a brother can cover himself, and even grow a beard, without it becoming obvious to anyone that he's a Muslim. When a woman starts to wear hijab, her entire wardrobe (which for me, is also a reflection of my "identity," I think) is going to change. What she can wear in public might be drastically different than before, and the scarf itself is an obvious indicator of her conversion. It might even make her feel isolated from her friends and family--they might not want to spend time with her, if she dresses that way. I don't mean to sound all doom and gloom for anyone considering adopting hijab, but these common fears are based in reality.

So maybe it's correct to say to a convert that he/she doesn't have to abandon his/her culture entirely, and to try to find ways to incorporate the good parts of their non-Muslim lives into their lives as Muslims, and to find a balance in their identity. Because some things are going to change, at some point or another.

As for his eighth point (attending the masjid) I know this is definitely going to be easier and more worthwhile for brothers than sisters. With women frequently marginalized at the masjid, and rarely in attendance, praying at the masjid regularly is going to take a long time to pay off, for a sister. She won't be joining a row of regular musalleen* but might be one of only a handful who happen to have stopped by the mosque on the occasion. She won't see regular faces, and might not even be able to benefit from talks after the prayer. (At one mosque I've been to, for instance, the brothers will turn off the mic and sisters have no opportunity to hear the short lecture after the salaah, as they're in another part of the building.) She might even find brothers (or sisters) who discourage her from attending, or criticize her. Attending on Fridays will have a greater benefit, but it might take a while to see it. It's true that the more one visits the mosque, the easier it will become. But for women, I would advise they try to attend classes and lectures as much as they can, and try to find other women in the community who can assist them.

I heartily agree with the remainder of his points. It's a great post (if you still haven't read it, you should) and offers some practical advice. Converting to Islam might be hard in the beginning, but Islam as a way of life is for our benefit and the reward is beyond imagination.

(musalleen--people who pray salaah)

Non-Reaction to Hijab

2011-03-08T10:01:00.006-05:00

I've been wearing hijab for a few years now, and I don't spend much time contemplating how people will react to it. Everyone I meet, nowadays, sees the hijab as much as they see me. It's just a permanent part of my wardrobe. But the other day I had an interesting experience, where someone met me without hijab and I'd get to see the change in their reaction.

Being unable to sleep at night, I got up early, prayed and went to the gym. I have class at 7:30 so there's not a lot of wiggle room in the mornings, and I'm sure nobody would appreciate my showing up all sweaty, so I typically shower at the gym after morning workouts. So after my shower, I came back to my locker to finish getting dressed (I usually get at least partially dressed in the shower area before walking around.) And just as I got there, another lady had walked in; for some reason or other, she immediately started talking to me, sharing a variety of experiences, non-stop, while I was getting ready.

I have to say, it was pretty embarrassing. I'm not used to a stranger talking to me while I'm putting on my clothes, deodorant, etc. But she kept going, oblivious or unconcerned about my discomfort. She talked about losing her job, interviewing after smoking a joint and trying to detox herself for a drug test, she talked about her friend giving her rides in exchange for "all-natural" wellness advice to deal with her constipation. So I was getting dressed, hoping that soon she would finish talking and just leave, but she kept going. So I kept dressing--socks, and shoes, then I waited a bit before putting on my abaya. I didn't notice any change in her behavior, so then I put on my coat--hopefully that would signal that I needed to go. But she kept going. I had zipped up my bag and put everything back inside but my hijab. In case the abaya hadn't given me away, the scarf surely would.

But time was ticking! So I started putting on the hijab, too--starting with the underscarf. She kept talking. Then the scarf--no change. I had it pinned an everything without anything more than a blink from her. Apparently, she could care less. Finally, I grab my bag and apologize for being unable to stay and chat, as I have class starting in a few moments. And then she released me.

We left the locker room together and wished each other a nice day. Not a single word about Islam, Muslims, my hijab--nothing.

And I have to say, after watching videos like these (Praying man harassed by protesters) (Protest at ICNA Relief dinner), I think I've unfortunately been expecting the worst from people. So it was nice to see someone who really didn't care.

Learning to Pray

2011-03-07T10:00:00.000-05:00

A good friend of mine found these videos online a while ago, and mailed the list to a group of convert sisters. I also shared it with someone who was struggling with learning how to say the Arabic parts of the salah and she found it helpful too. So I'm posting it here for anyone else who might be looking for help in learning and memorizing the prayer, and needs a tutorial that goes very slowly.

Ilm Feast: Etiquettes of Eating

2011-03-06T10:00:00.000-05:00

I stumbled across this via Facebook on Thursday, and it's very fun nugget of ilm (knowledge.) So watch Shaykh AbdulBary Yahya in Seattle at one of my favorite restaurants, Olympic Express. It makes me miss Seattle a little, but hopefully I'll be back in just a few months, inshaaAllaah!

Reverts and their Muslim Communities

2011-03-05T10:00:00.000-05:00

One of my articles, recently published by OnIslam.net. You can visit the article to vote and leave comments if you wish.

Isolation is scary, and it’s not easy to face troubles alone. Sometimes converting or reverting to Islam is one of the easiest steps, belying a difficult journey ahead. But the converts who stay on their own and avoid the

community are the most likely to lose their way.

In Surat al-Fatihah, we read about a Siraat al-Mustaqeem, a Straight Path, and we ask Allah to guide us towards it. Let’s think about the way this path is described for a moment. Though there are other words for “path” in the Arabic language, the word Siraat, refers to a path which is straight, long, dangerous, wide, and unique. If a path is wide, that means many people can take it at once, and unique in this context means that there is no other path available to the destination. In other words, it is the Path to Salvation, and there’s not an alternative route. But because it’s a wide path, we don’t need to go alone. In fact, when we pray this du’a every day in our salah, we ask Allah to guide us to the Straight Path. We don’t ask individually, or say “Guide me,” but we make du’a collectively—we declare that we worship Allah, and we seek His help, and then we ask Him to guide us, at least seventeen times a day in salaah.

Imagine being lost in the woods, and you come across a path like this—straight, long, wide, etc. And imagine that the path is crowded with people, some even carrying flashlights. It’s easy to join in and follow along. But if you hang back, or walk on your own, you might get lost going down a detour—not the right way, and off the Straight Path. Similarly, in Islam we have a group walking together, and scholars to guide the way. But when a convert leaves the group, even intending to keep going the same way, it becomes more difficult to stay on the Straight Path.

Islam is not a religion to be practiced in isolation—it demands community. Remember that when the Messenger of Allah (saws) moved to Madinah he spent the initial months establishing brotherhood and a masjid. For today’s new Muslims, integrating with the community is similarly important. And the community revolves around the masjid. The Muslim community can be a means of support for a convert or revert who has become isolated from family members, a means of education and instruction in practicing Islam, and a means of constant companionship.

But as our individual identities are often tied to the communities that raised us, entering a new community as an adult can be a daunting experience, notwithstanding the community’s ability to welcome new members. And it’s as important for a masjid to offer programs for local new Muslims as it is for the converts and reverts to involve themselves as much as possible.

Iman will go up and down throughout a person’s life but what might keep someone from leaving Islam altogether is support from other Muslims, and guidance that they wouldn’t have access to on their own. A healthy community should aim to provide its new Muslims with ample social as well as educational opportunities. Informal events offer people a chance to connect with each other and cultivate relationships, while classes and seminars offer knowledge guidance in new terrain.

And just as it’s important for the community to provide the opportunities, it’s as important for the new Muslims to get involved. The Internet can’t substitute for real social interaction, for brothers and sisters who can demonstrate how Muslims really live, day-to-day. And search engines are terrible scholars. Our imams and teachers know (or should know) how to explain things without overloading the listener. As important, they can offer advice tailored to an individual. A website full of fatwas doesn’t know the details of a person’s particular situation. So while the Internet can be a great resource, it’s still critical for new Muslims to involve themselves in their communities, and also for local Muslims to reach out so nobody becomes isolated, and consequently left behind.

Sometimes, the first experience a convert has with a community is a visit to a mosque. The critical first impression might be negative if the convert isn’t able to connect with anyone. This especially happens with sisters who aren’t even able to find women at the mosque, or if they do, the women can’t speak English. Sometimes new Muslims have too many expectations of their community, but there are some steps the community can take to help make things easier for them. For instance some problems could be reduced or eliminated if the community is able to well-publicize its events. An easy-to-see event board and an active website can be important ways for a convert to learn about events. And though it does require effort from some volunteers, properly publicizing events through websites and posters at a mosque are crucial to letting new Muslims learn about activities. Since they are not usually regular in praying at the mosque, announcements after the salaah might not reach them. In particular, because women are in general infrequent at mosques, they might not know about activities even if they are asked.

Also, a simple point of contact might be all that’s needed to break the barrier keeping a new Muslim from participating in events. Dedicated volunteers should be encouraged to specifically welcome new Muslims by directing them to beneficial programs and other Muslims in the area who can befriend them.

Some ideas for a masjid to reach out to new Muslims:

· Community Potlucks

· Book Clubs

· Play Dates for kids

· Iftaars in Ramadan

· Weekly halaqas geared towards new Muslims

· Classes on Essentials of Islam and Beginner Arabic

· Q & A Sessions with an Imam

· Dedicated volunteers for outreach to new Muslims

But what can a convert do? First, take Islam seriously and cherish it, and secondly start looking for ways to meet other Muslims (especially converts who know what you’re going through) and to learn more about Islam on an ongoing basis. It might require making time in your schedule, or driving across town. I offered a class one time that several sisters had trouble attending because they didn’t have cars. But some other sisters offered to provide rides and the end result was that they kept coming and they formed a close circle as well, supporting and encouraging each other. Look for activities at the local mosque and try to contact active volunteers for their advice about local events and activities. Look on websites for local organizations, mosques, and even on event posters—it shouldn’t be hard to find a contact.

Make use of whatever resources are available, and make a commitment. Islam is a journey that doesn’t need to be made alone. Join the community on the Straight Path.

Book Reviews

2011-03-04T10:00:00.020-05:00

While spending the last few months studying Arabic and not blogging, I've also started reading again. There have been times in my life when I would read voraciously but, nowadays the tendency comes and goes.Especially since getting my iPhone, I've been reading more about current events in the news and on blogs through my Google Reader than reading books.

But after visiting my family this past fall, when my mother started talking about her plans to buy a Nook, and discovering that my husband has been using the Amazon Kindle App on his iPad to read books, I realized I could have that Kindle App on my iPhone and do the same. So in the past two months I've been able to read a few books, some fiction and some nonfiction, and I may decide to start blogging reviews of some of them.

I'm also hopeful that as my fluency in Arabic improves, I will be able to start reading books in Arabic and reviewing or even summarizing interesting portions, since they are likely to be less accessible to anyone reading this blog. So if anyone has suggestions for great books in English or especially Arabic, please let me know.

A Tentative Return

2011-03-03T16:34:00.004-05:00

It's been almost six months since my last posting and I think it might now be time to start blogging again. But before I begin, I would like to cover some of the reasons which have kept me away.

On the day of Eid al-Fitr, just after last year's Ramadan, my husband and I again loaded up my little red car and set out for another exciting road trip. Our first road trip, if you remember, was our honeymoon, when we took over two weeks to drive across the United States, passing through 15 different states and five national parks before arriving at our new home in Seattle, WA. But this time we went south, through seven states in six days (visiting three national parts along the way) to arrive in Dallas, Texas, where I would begin 10 months with one particular goal in mind--learning Arabic.

Unfortunately, my husband wasn't able to stay with me the whole time so I've been on my own a lot. And one reason I didn't want to blog the experience is so that I wouldn't be come a sole blogging authority on the program I'm in--which, if you didn't know, is called Bayyinah Dream.

I think when anyone becomes so invested in such a program, it's hard not to form opinions about the good and the bad. But I'm afraid it might disrespectful to my teachers if I took to the internet to complain, because they work very hard every day (honestly, I don't know when they find time to sleep) to make the program a success. If anyone has specific questions about it, I would like to invite your questions by email.

The other main reason I haven't been blogging is that I'm actually quite busy. (And when I'm not, I probably should be.) Since the program does make up such a large part of my life right now, I'm going to be somewhat limited on subject matter and time for writing, so I'm going to try to post at least once a week, which will be my current goal for now. It might be a good idea to subscribe to my RSS feed if you haven't already, so you don't have to check in regularly to see if there's anything new.

I'm hoping to write about studying Arabic generally, life away from my husband, and general issues that come up. I have written a couple of articles for/about converts/revert which have been published at a new website, onislam.net. I will try to repost my articles here as well inshaaAllah.

Thanks for sticking with me so far; I'm looking forward to writing again.

Afraid of Your Neighborhood Mosque?

2010-09-06T07:57:00.004-04:00

Are you afraid of what happens at that mosque down the road, or the one across town? Afraid they're training terrorists? Afraid there's a madrasa* teaching kids to be violent? Afraid the imam is teaching men to abuse their wives?

Or maybe you're not afraid; maybe you're concerned because you believe that's actually going on.

But I'm fairly certain that it's not. In fact, that mosque is probably America's best line of defense against terrorism--and that's one of many reasons that a community should support their local mosques. And why, in general, Americans should support the construction of mosques for American Muslims.

Sadly, the efforts of soldiers fighting and dying overseas (and killing Muslims) foster terrorism by increasing hatred from Muslims and further radicalizing them. I say it's sad because people are dying (on both sides) and the efforts only make the situation worse. American mosques combat the radicalism among Muslims. Visit one--listen to what the preachers are saying. Mosques are open, free, just visit and see what they're teaching. What you'll hear is talk about prayer, fasting, charity, kindness to parents.

If a Muslim has been radicalized, he's probably not going to be too regular at the mosque--he won't hear at the mosque the rhetoric he wants to hear; that is, the kind which validates his radicalism, basically. Instead, he'll be told to be patient, to increase in worship, and act in service to his community. But if he does visit the mosque, then perhaps he'll find a community there who can help to guide him aright.

So don't be afraid of the local mosques. Feel free to visit them--encourage a group visit if you don't want to go alone. Take a group from your church or synagogue--or invite a Muslim you know to come speak at your Sunday school class. Open mutual dialogue at interfaith or multi-faith events--ask them what they are doing, subscribe to their newsletter if they have one. And when you see they're not up to any trouble, consider that the faith of Muslims can positively affect the community in which they live. That it can help take care of the poor, and refugees, the hungry, the homeless, the battered women and orphan children. That it can promote positive activities for youth to keep them "off the streets" and out of trouble. And that it can even help keep the country safer.

Please, visit a mosque.

*By the way, madrasa is just the Arabic word for school.

Being Fair About Gender Segregation

2010-09-02T04:06:00.002-04:00

I wrote an article that was just published over at OnIslam.net. (Being Fair About Gender Segregation)

I have heard many complaints from some converts to Islam, even from non-Muslims, about gender separation in Islam—in fact, it was one of my biggest fears after marriage. And the issue of segregation in Islam and Muslim cultures relates to women's rights and the concept of hijab.

But I have come to prefer gender segregation, usually, now that I have a better understanding about what it means and how to apply it...

Instead of posting the entire article here (which I may do later), I've just linked it so you can visit the site, read the article, and vote on the quality. Feel free to leave comments here of improvements I can make to articles in the future.

Thanks!

Taking My Own Advice

2010-09-01T03:26:00.002-04:00

A few years ago I posted some thoughts about being a recent convert in Ramadan. In my first few Ramadans, meeting many new people (at iftars, at the masjid, etc.) made a huge impact on me. So I would strongly encourage anyone who can to try and invite new Muslims when hosting iftars. It's a great time to help them learn more about Islam by observing, rather than reading.

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to host any iftaars myself for the last few years because of my living arrangements. So this is my first year hosting--and I did take my own advice and host a few this Ramadan. And alhamdulillah, it's been a lot of fun. I announced my own iftars at other events and a mailing list for local sisters, to have a sisters-only iftar. I've had three, the last one tonight, and saw a different crowd each night. I've also seen many of the same sisters at other iftar events.

Alhamdulillah, the sisters in Seattle already recognized the importance of having iftars for converts and singles who wouldn't otherwise have anyone to celebrate with, and already scheduled weekly iftars. These were another opportunity for me to meet even more people.

It's sad that I'll be leaving soon and won't see these sisters again until next Ramadan, but I'm looking forward to it. And now I'm much more optimistic about stabilizing once I get back from Texas inshaaAllaah, since I feel much less like an outsider than I did even a few weeks ago.

National Tragedy vs. Muslim Holiday

2010-08-23T04:40:00.008-04:00

With all the controversy about the non-ground zero non-mosque, a lot of misinformation about Islam has been raining on the internet and even some television shows.

Beyond the obvious irrational discussion about Park51, I'm afraid that Americans are being lied to regarding how Muslims feel about the tragedy of 9/11. And it's important this year, because those Americans might see their Muslim neighbors celebrating a holiday on that day--it's Saturday this year--for a completely unrelated reason.

And I want to clear up the confusion.

One disconcerting (yet utterly false) claim I've heard regarding Park51 is that Muslims supposedly like to build mosques on the sacred sites of conquered lands. How is that related to Park51? (Yeah, it's a leap; bear with me.) The enemies of Islam have been portraying the tragic loss of some 3000 lives 9 years ago as a "victory" for Islam. Let's be clear--it was nothing but a brutal tragedy, and has only been condemned by Muslim leaders--including the imam behind the project, by the way. Islam did not attack, but the terrorists (they don't even represent Islam--let's clear the air of that foul and false association) who did attack are hiding in caves--not what I'd call a victory by any definition. Ground Zero hardly resembles a "conquest." And nobody's building a mosque (or anything else I'm aware of) on Ground Zero.

The reason I say it's a false claim in the first place is because I've never even heard of Muslim building mosques on "sacred sites." In fact, there's a story about 'Umar ibn al-Khattab at the conquest of Jerusalem acting in order to preserve a holy site, so that a mosque would not be built on top of it. The reasons Muslims do build mosques, however, is to pray in them. And they build them in locations where Muslims live and work--since it's recommended to pray in them daily. So when there are Muslims in Manhattan, there need also be a mosque, or at least a "prayer space" for them in Manhattan. Nothing sinister about that.

But the fact that this claim is polluting the airways is causing a problem--corroding the barrier of common sense in people's minds which protects them from irrational paranoia. And I'm afraid that one piece of information might tip the balance. What information? The trivial date of an Islamic holiday--Eid al-Fitr.

You see, it's possible that Muslims might find themselves celebrating a festive day in their religion on the same day that Americans (and Muslim Americans too) are mourning the tragedy of 9/11. And I fear that anyone swimming in the sea of misinformation about Islam might find themselves drowning without a proper understanding of the context of this holiday.

Muslims celebrate essentially two major holidays each lunar year of the Islamic calendar. The days are called Eids, and they are Eid al-Fitr and Eid al-Adha. The lunar Islamic calendar has 12 lunar months, each 29 or 30 days--depending on the lunar cycle. Here's a bit of math:

There are 12 months, each having an average of 29.5 days (average of 29 and 30), resulting in a yearly total of about 354 days. In a solar year there are 365 days--probably what you learned back in grade school, since the calendar followed by the Western world, which runs from January to December, is based on a solar year, with 365 days. Why the discrepancy? Because they just don't line up.

It's okay, except that the Islamic lunar calendar--with only 354 days--will seem to move forward each year, since it's about 12 days shorter. There's no leap month every once in a while to keep the lunar calendar fixed against the solar one, it just keeps on moving, every year.

This means that Ramadan starts about a week and a half earlier (in the solar calendar) each year than the previous year. Two years ago it started on the 1st of September, last year it started in mid-late August, and this year it started in early-mid August. Next year, God willing, it will start at the very beginning of August or end of July.

But let's get back to the holidays--one of them occurs right at the end of Ramadan. It's called Eid al-Fitr. And this year, Ramadan ends right around September 11th. The Eid will consist of a congregational prayer early in the morning, just like it does every year at the end of Ramadan. Muslims will then celebrate it with family and friends by cooking, visiting, eating, maybe even sharing gifts.

Because the start and end of Ramadan is based on different criteria in different communities, it might not be universally celebrated on one day or another. But the day on which Eid is celebrated has no significance to the solar date, as it moves every year as well. So the holiday itself has nothing to do with the tragedy of September 11th, which I might point out was nowhere near the Eid 9 years ago, the year of the tragedy.

And while the prayer associated with Eid really can't be moved, I think it is wise for Muslim communities to try to schedule Eid-related weekend fairs and carnivals around the tragedy (by having them on Sunday the 12th instead of Saturday the 11th, or Saturday the 18th instead of the 11th.) However, this decision is up to local communities and the resources available to them. I've heard of many communities scheduling events deliberately off of the September 11th date in order to avoid local controversies, and to be more sensitive to Americans who choose that day to mourn that tragedy.

But more importantly, it is critical for us, as Muslims, to explain what the holiday Eid al-Fitr is about, and why its celebration has nothing to do with 9/11, despite the overlap in dates this year. If anyone is mistaken about why Muslims are celebrating, maybe it's our fault for not explaining ourselves in advance--and that's all I'm trying to do.

I'd like for this to be distributed and widely read--any recommendations for edits would be greatly appreciated in the comments section or by email. Thanks!

Praying At Home?

2010-08-21T04:08:00.003-04:00

I get it now.

Alhamdulillah, a visit from family (my husband's parents, sister, and her two sons) taught me an important lesson. I knew that it was allowed, even recommended for women to pray at home instead of at the masjid, while men are strongly encouraged to pray in the congregation at the masjid.

Until the family visit, my understanding of this subject had been purely academic--sure, women can pray at home or can go to the mosque. But I didn't realize what a mercy and blessing that is. My understanding went from "Yeah, it's nice," to "SubhanAllaah, this deen is amazing."

When my sister-in-law was visiting, with her two sons, whom I love dearly, I realized just what it might be like for a mother watching children at home. Children demand attention all the time. They don't take breaks, and sometimes like to misbehave even though your schedule doesn't really have time for it. With just two boys, it was difficult to find time for us to pray--though there were three women in the house to watch the kids! I simply can't imagine how she handles them on her own. And it's not because they boys are just being bad or trying to cause trouble, they just require lots of attention and supervision. Neither of these can be had from a mother during prayer.

In addition, taking care of a household full of people (as a newlywed, my house is not so often full) requires time--a lot of it. Things require cleaning--not to be "spic-n-span" but just so they aren't dirty. Like what? Like bathrooms, so they don't stink; tubs, so the water drains; dishes, so you can eat off them; pots and pans, so you can cook in them. Cooking meals for several people daily means constantly cooking, or cleaning in the kitchen. Then there's laundry, and the rest of the house to maintain.

Without children around, I can find extra time around my prayers to go to the mosque--but with children, the 5-10 minutes each way (10-20 minutes each prayer) will add up, and would be a tremendously difficult burden on women, if they had to go to the mosque for each prayer.

If it's hard enough to find time to pray at home, how much harder to find the time to get children ready to go pray as well--especially young ones, who need to be diapered, dressed, and fed with the help of their mothers? I didn't realize, until this last visit, how much of a blessing it is for women that they are encouraged to pray at home, their minds at ease from the difficulty of praying at the masjid.

It also pretty much negates any concept that women have an easy life, or that their jobs (as mothers, and caretakers of the house) are less important than men's. It seems like the job of women is so important that while she does take a break for prayer, she has the benefit of being able to do it at home, so she can devote more of her time and energy to her responsibilities.

Right?

Fitness-Related Ramadan Advice

2010-08-14T04:39:00.003-04:00

Because I'm trying this year (more than in previous years) to maintain a healthy lifestyle, it's nice to see all the advice from Muslims about maintaining a healthy lifestyle in Ramadan.

Unfortunately, when the information is posted, some people criticize it by saying that Ramadan is not the time to focus on fitness, and thus the information isn't relevant. First, they make a good point--Ramadan is not the time to focus on fitness. Worship of Allah should be the focus, and the priority. When I hear people make this criticism though, it makes me sad, because it's like saying that fitness isn't important at all, and that we should disregard it in Ramadan.

But I don't think that's realistic. In general we can't disregard school, or work because it's Ramadan (though I get the impression that in some countries people do.) But since fitness can actually make us stronger and better Muslims, and requires year-round consistency, I think it's worth talking about fitness in Ramadan. Not to the exclusion of the importance of worship, of course, but after reading several articles and listening to short talks about the subject, fitness is never placed above worship. Workouts are scheduled around suhoor, iftar, and taraweeh times so as not to conflict with worship and practices from the sunnah.

This audio advice from FitMuslimah.com makes special note of the importance to not set high fitness goals in Ramadan--rather, the goal should be to maintain one's current level of fitness. It's not practical to do much improvement--which requires a specific calorie intake and exercise routine while fasting. In fact, attempting to do so might actually negatively affect the body.

But for people who are used to eating healthy (whether to maintain blood sugar or other health reasons, for weight loss/maintenance, weight gain, or other kinds of training) why should they stop in Ramadan? For people who are used to regular exercise (for its many health benefits) why should they stop in Ramadan? And lose what they work for the rest of the year?

For anyone who isn't used to exercise, Ramadan might not be the best time to start with intense workouts, but a brisk or moderate-paced walk wouldn't go amiss.

Flight or Invisibility?

2010-08-13T23:42:00.001-04:00

I was listening to a story today on NPR, on the program This American Life, about choosing superpowers--would people choose to be invisible, or to fly, if given the choice between the two?

Since I was a little kid, I have wanted to fly--it's something of a passion of mine. I love flying and things associated with flight. So if anyone ever asked, I could answer without any hesitation or thought. And then I would wonder why anyone would want to be invisible?

It was kind of disturbing, actually, to hear people talk about being invisible. One person at the end said that everyone, if they were practical, would choose invisibility so they could sneak into movies and in other ways cheat society. One man talked about listening to what people said about him behind his back, and watching women take showers. (Yeah, seriously.)

But apparently, according to the lady who said that everyone would choose invisibility if they were honest, described people who would choose flight as having some kind of mythic/heroic complex. The contrast between flight and fading was also described as being related to people's "guile." So if they had guile, they would want to be invisible. And that people who wanted to fly wanted to be heroes or to show off or something. And apparently women tended to answer "invisibility" more than men, who tended to answer "flight."

I'm not sure about drawing too many conclusions about someone based on their answer to the question, but I do find the trends interesting. Any thoughts? What would you choose?

Ramadan Protocol Meal Checklists

2010-08-13T01:26:00.005-04:00

Just for my own benefit, really:

Suhoor Checklist:

Multi-Vitamin with Iron (2) -- Multivitamins are important for general health, especially when reducing or restricting calories. It's even more important during Ramadan, I think, because I'm eating even less. I take a supplement with iron because I'm a woman basically.
Fish-Oil (3) -- Good for general health, also for lowering cholesterol (which is why I take a lot of them, as prescribed by my doctor.)
Protein (>20g) -- Important for muscle-building and fullness. The challenge is to get enough protein in without too much fat. Lean proteins include chicken breast meat and egg whites. Really 20g isn't enough, 40g is more appropriate but these days I'm not hungry at suhoor time and have a hard time eating that much food without feeling sick. 20g is about 3/4 cup of egg whites.
Healthy Fat (10-15g) -- It's part of my daily habit to eat at least 10g of fat with my breakfast, as it helps stave off sugar cravings normally. I might eat a little more fat in Ramadan suhoors than a normal breakfast because it needs to last for longer.
Complex Carb (1/2cup) -- A slow digesting carbohydrate food like whole wheat bread (I like Dave's Killer Powerseed Bread personally), oatmeal, lentils or other whole grains.
Fruit -- I like oranges in the morning because they're full of water which helps with hydrating. Dates might also be good, since it's from the Sunnah and you don't have to eat a lot volume-wise to get the calories. (1 date is about 70 calories.) Fruit is a simple carb though, so best not to have too much.
Water (32oz) -- In a day it's good to get 64oz of water as a minimum. I try to break it up by having 32oz at suhoor, and 32oz at iftar.

Iftar Checklist:

Date (1+) -- It's from the sunnah to break fast with dates, and it helps raise blood sugar quickly while helping you to rehydrate. I have to remind myself not to eat too many, because as I mentioned before, each date is about 70 calories, which adds up fast.
Water (32oz) -- The rest of that 64oz. I try to drink a glass when I break my fast and then sip it for the rest of the night.
Fish Oil (3) -- I take six of these each day (if I remember) according to a doctor's recommendation. And I do have to remind myself to take it both times or else I'll forget.
Protein (>30g) -- Important to have plenty of protein after breaking fast as well, especially from lean sources.
Complex Carb (1/2 cup) -- Half a cup at suhoor and iftar is really enough.
Veggies (1 cup) -- Too many reasons to eat veggies.

Why a Ramadan Protocol Checklist? So when I'm insanely sleepy (like right now, although I'm bright-eyed and bushy tailed compared to my husband who got even less sleep) I can check my list and see if I remembered to eat everything I was supposed to.

Weird Attacks

2010-08-08T03:18:00.003-04:00

Do you ever hear weird comments from the enemies of Islam? For instance:

that Islam isn't a real religion, but just a cult, and referring to it as a "so-called religion"

that if people only read the biography of Muhammad they'll understand why Syrian Shari'ah makes a woman burn herself

that face veiling is just "Arab culture" and has no basis in religion

that Muslims try to "sugarcoat" Islam and they don't actually follow the Qur'an?

I've heard each of these over the past two days and I just get confused. The first one I've seen in two places, so maybe it's getting popular (on forums and blogs, anyway) to say that Islam isn't a real religion. It's kind of a crackpot statement, since it's the world's second largest religion (by number of adherents) and the world's largest purely monotheistic religion. The characteristics which define Islam should be defining for any religion--Islam should be the standard, really, as it's so pervasive globally. So to say it's not a real religion? It requires the logic-defying arrogance equivalent to declaring the earth is flat.

The second one I heard on NPR on Friday, during an interview of a particular published enemy of Islam whom the host didn't bother to ask any meaningful questions. The woman hails from Syria--which she upholds as a bastion of Islamic idealism, even Shari'ah (I find this particularly laughable, since Syria is well-known to be quite far from Shari'ah and actually makes it more difficult for Muslims to practice Islam there than here in the USA.) And then bases her entire argument against Islam on an emotional appeal--the tragic (if true, it was indeed tragic and inexcusable) suffering of a female relative. She then bizarrely tries to claim that abuse and oppression of women is based in the biography of Muhammad (pbuh) and encourages listeners to read it in order to verify her claims. I find that pretty odd since I would encourage listeners to do the same thing--read his biography--to see through her weak and unsupported argument.

To be more specific, she highlighted an instance of forced marriage--yet in a clear hadith a woman is permitted a divorce simply because she was married without her consent. In fact, the woman went to the Prophet himself and asked her the question. So she wasn't locked up, forced to stay at home, not allowed to talk to men, or considered to be shameful by the Prophet (pbuh) to speak to him about her husband and to question the marriage.

Then she (the aforementioned enemy of Islam) pointed to the marriage of the Prophet (pbuh) to his wife Aisha, who she claimed to be 6 years old. Again, actually reading the biography would clear up that matter as well.

The third point above comes from a discussion about the burqa banning and arises from Americans who I can only imagine feel that if 20 or 30 women in their city choose to cover their faces, that society is going to collapse, their wives will be cowed into submission to male dominance and forced to wear a suit that looks like--actually, I won't even say how it was described, lest I offend my sisters who choose to wear it. In short, those fears are totally baseless, and I can't see them as anything other than pure bigotry. Moreover, it seems to be a convenient excuse for those who do hate the face veil to pretend that veiling actually doesn't belong to Islam. Without delving too deeply into the religious argument for the veiling of the face, I will say that we have clear evidence that the wives of the Prophet (pbuh) covered their faces, and as that is true, who on earth has the right to prevent a woman from aspiring to such nobility and modesty as maintained by the mothers of the believers?

The last remark is the most curious of all, though I know it's not new. In fact, it's a remark which brought me to Islam five years ago--when someone claimed that the Qur'an promoted violence which Muslims were just hiding. I have relatives who still believe this to be the case. But the difference between me and them on this issue is that I have actually read the Qur'an. The obvious result is that now I am a Muslim. So if anyone is going around claiming that, the refutation is simply to actually read the texts.

Why doesn't the truth speak for itself? Because society likes to watch the shadows on the wall instead of looking at reality and the light of day.

Planning Practice

2010-08-06T03:08:00.006-04:00

After spending months of idling in Washington, my life is picking up speed. My days are filled with more tasks, requirements, more things I need to accomplish. And so it seems like time is becoming short.

In the past several months I've been able to enjoy being a newlywed, focus on my health, and become lightly involved with the local Muslim community. In the past several weeks I've been able to visit my family in North Carolina, and have my husband's family (who are also my family, I love them so dearly) visit me as well. In fact, they just left today.

Up until now I've been living very much "in the moment" without planning too far ahead. And it's time for this habit to change, abruptly. In little over a month, I'll be leaving Washington for Texas to spend 10 months studying Arabic. And I need to maintain some of the good habits (health-wise) I've developed here in Washington.

I will have to transition from a free and spontaneous lifestyle to one with a strictly regimented schedule. And yet find time to prepare home-cooked healthy meals like I'm used to, and also exercise on a daily basis. During this transition, I have to prepare for a cross-country move and a week-long vacation with my husband, and maintain a schedule of teaching at halaqas in addition to preparing a few iftars at my home, all while fasting.

So my new lifestyle (the one in Texas) will require careful planning on a daily basis to fit in classes, studying, exercise, and meal-planning. My intermediate lifestyle requires careful planning to accomplish all my tasks in a relatively short period of time with the disadvantage of being fasting during the day and occupied at night inshaaAllaah with prayers.

So for the next month (or so) I am going to practice and perfect the art of planning and scheduling until it is easy for me. May Allah make it easy and put barakah in my time.

Exercising While Fasting

2010-08-04T04:43:00.002-04:00

If you haven't come across it yet, there's a good article about working out in Ramadan over at Suhaib Webb's blog: The Ramadan Nutrition and Workout Plan for Success.

Included are good tips and advice for maintaining an exercise routine during the fasts of Ramadan. Unfortunately, I don't think all the advice is actually practical this year--especially in northern latitudes (like Seattle.) Specifically, timing a workout after taraweeh prayers doesn't seem realistic given that isha is not prayed until almost 11pm, and the fasting starts around 4am. So in five hours there is taraweeh prayers (around 2 hours here, I'm told,) and you also want to get up for suhoor and possibly tahajjud as well (especially in the last 10 nights), so I'll say at least an hour, i.e., 3am start all that. Which gives you from 1am-3am for sleeping and exercise. (What!?)

Alright, so I'm not sure if anyone will be sleeping at night around here this Ramadan, since there's not enough time for anything more than a nap--and an extremely disrupted sleep schedule. But working out? At 1am? Seriously?

What kind of workout can you do at 1am, anyway? I have a few training sessions left that will last in to Ramadan, meaning that I have to meet with my personal trainer during Ramadan. And the earliest I can meet her is 5:30am, and the latest I can meet her is 7:30 pm. That's over an hour after fasting begins, and an hour before it ends. And I'm not sure which is better.

Personally, I think I'd rather do my workouts in the gym--where it's safe, well-lit, and a variety of equipment is available. The only exercise I can do at 1am is run. I love riding my bike but I just don't feel safe after dusk.

I've also heard other suggestions about the hours before iftar being a good time to workout. The problem is that after a day of fasting, the body will be weak and dehydrated, but afterwards the body will be extremely ready to receive nutrients. Also, you can rehydrate almost immediately.

I'm thinking I'll give both options a try in the first week and decide what works better for the remaining sessions. Thankfully, my trainer is giving me that flexibility and I won't have to meet her at our normal time of 1pm--at which time there is no benefit whatsoever, except perhaps that the gym isn't crowded.

Anyone else have any thoughts?

Ramadan Webinars

2010-08-04T02:23:00.003-04:00

I realized today that I've been "invited" to more webinars for Ramadan than it's going to be possible for me to attend. But in case any of these spark the interest of my readers, I'll just post a list of Ramadan webinars if anyone is looking for some motivation or preparation for the upcoming month of fasting and worship.

If I get any more I'll try to update this list. I have listened to the first one, which is on replay, from Quran for Busy People, and really appreciated it. As for the rest, I can't really say. There's a second upcoming webinar from Quran For Busy People that I might tune in for, or listen if it's on replay inshaaAllaah.

Enjoy!

On Replay:

The Quickest, Easiest, Most Productive Way to Understand the Entire Quran In Arabic... For FREE!

Available at: http://attendthisevent.com/?eventid=13815993

Monday, August 2nd, 7pm EST

Advice to Make This Ramadan the Best Ever

Tuesday, August 3rd, 7pm EST

Spiritual Management

Thursday, August 5th, 5pm EST

The Strongest Link

Saturday, August 7th, 2pm EST

Healthy Hearts, Healthy Communities: the life and teachings of Imam al-Ghazali in the modern world

Sunday, August 8th, 7pm GMT

How To Use This Ramadan To Jump-Start Your Personal Journey Through The Quran

Sunday, August 8th, 7:10pm EDT

The Fasting and the Furious: how to drive your motivation throughout Ramadan

The Roti Experiment

2010-07-30T04:18:00.002-04:00

If you follow me on twitter, you'll know that a while ago a tried making roti without success. (Roti is a kind of flat bread eaten with many Pakistani dishes.) The dough was basically sticking to everything--the bowl, the rolling pin, the counter, and me!--and the only fruits of my labor were three little pieces of roti that made it to the frying pan. My husband likened them to the San Juan Islands (a local vacation destination--three small islands) making fun of their pitiful size and distorted shape. But he said they tasted good--although, how hard is it to mess up the "taste" of something which is only flour and water?

So while I've been hoping that my visiting mother-in-law will teach me many of her extremely delicious recipes (I haven't tried one dish yet that I didn't like), I'm especially hoping that she will teach me to make roti. My husband has mentioned a few times that he'd really like for me to make roti (even though I can't make the accompanying dishes--he can make some of them) and it would make him extremely happy for me to have fresh roti when he comes home from work. (I guess I can take the not-so-subtle hint.)

So after being a little too late to the kitchen for a few days when roti was being made, I recently made a point to observe when the opportunity arose. And she showed me how she rolled the dough into a ball, floured it some more, rolled it flat and then patted it around to make it get big, then dropped it in the pan. I tried once with the patting it and it didn't get exactly round--sort of like a rounded oblong triangle...

But this evening when some food was left over late at night, but very little roti, I thought I'd try it again myself--in secret, so I didn't embarrass myself. I took small pieces of dough from the fridge (my mother-in-law had already made this, and I didn't want to use it all up, or try making it myself either) and made miniature dough balls. I rolled them in the flour, rolled them flat, and tried patting them too (although, they were really too small for this to have much effect.) Then dropped them onto the pan and cooked them. And although they weren't the best--not as big, soft, and stretchy as my mother-in-law's--they looked sort of decent, though small. And so when my husband came to the kitchen I proudly showed him my 2 little round mini rotis, thinking he'd be happy, praise me, and then eat them with the gravy on the stove. But no.

Right away he took the basket straight to the bedroom where my mother-in-law and sister-in-law were, and showed it to them. He was happy--and so were they--and explained that I was too shy to try making it while they were around. Actually, I was too embarrassed and his showing off didn't help any! Then they tried and confirmed that it tasted just right (again--is it even possible to mess up the taste?) even though it was small, and my mother-in-law told me that she learned this way too--by starting with small ones and working up until they're larger.

So it was supposed to be secret roti--just for me and my husband. But instead everyone knows--so I guess it's a good thing the experiment wasn't a total failure!

Haleem, Amy Style

2010-07-29T05:38:00.005-04:00

A couple years ago at a dinner party for single ladies, I was introduced to haleem. And it was delicious. The cook had prepared it in a pressure cooker in order to speed up the process (this dish can take 8 hours to cook) and I was quick to ask how she made it. Finding that she simply used a box mix from Shan, I was pretty eager to try it. I didn't have a pressure cooker, but I thought I'd try it in a Crock-Pot that I'd had for a while (and never used.)

So I bought the Shan Haleem mix at a local Indian grocery store, and tried my best to follow the instructions. I'm still not sure if I really followed them correctly (and I left some parts out, plus I don't really know what "ghee" is), but generally anyone to whom I've served haleem has been pretty happy with it.

Tonight I received the chief of all compliments on haleem, when my mother-in-law (who really doesn't speak any English) insisted to me that my haleem was "very very very very very very very tasty." She herself is an amazing cook, whose culinary expertise has been delighting my taste buds for over a week now. So that I could impress her (as well as the rest of my family) was pretty exciting.

Because I'm using a boxed mix and a crock-pot, making the haleem is really easy. So when I tell people it's easy they often ask how I make it. So I thought maybe I'd share my strategy.

First, let the grains soak in a bowl of water. I've let them soak from anywhere from 15 minutes to about 2 hours. My sister-in-law soaks them overnight, which is another way to make them softer, I guess. It might help them cook faster if they soak longer, but I'm not really sure.

Anyway, after/while soaking the grains, fry some beef (I use the same cuts of beef used for beef stew, which we buy at a halal meat market, and it works really well) in oil. I use about 2-2.5 lbs. of beef and around 1/2-3/4 cups of olive oil to fry the beef. Heat the pan, add the oil, then the meat, and add the spices (I use about 3/4 or a little more of the spice packet, not the whole thing) while frying the beef. Once it has been browned (though not cooked the whole way through) I add it to the crock-pot, along with the grains and water. And then I had water, but I can't say how much. I add until there's about an inch from the level of water and the top of the crock-pot, about 1-3 bowls of water, depending on the size of the bowl. Also depends on the size of the crock-pot you use, I guess. Maybe 20-32 oz of water, in addition to the beef and the oil you cooked it in.

And then set it--about 6-8 hours on High or 8-10 hours on Low should be plenty. So you have to start it in the morning if you want it for dinner. Don't stir it too often in the crock pot, as it adds on cooking time.

Then enjoy, and share. It's really good with yogurt and naan. And if you want to make it higher protein (as I do sometimes) then add chicken breast to your dish before you eat it, like this. Season the raw chicken breast with some remaining spices (haleem masala) like a dry rub. Fry a breast in about 1 tsp of olive oil (for up to a 7oz breast) until cooked through. Add to about 3/4 cup haleem and yogurt. For even more protein, substitute Greek yogurt. For lower carbs, cut the naan and just eat it with a spoon.

Ramadan Confusion

2010-07-29T05:28:00.002-04:00

Want to be confused? Read different fiqh opinions regarding Ramadan. It will just blow your mind.

After being volunteered to talk about the fiqh of Ramadan at an upcoming workshop (in addition to just Eid), I've spent a lot of time over the last week reading different fiqh opinions on Ramadan, and am terrified of presenting this weekend, and unsatisfied with the ability of Shaykh Google to clarify matters.

So what is confusing?

The time to start fasting--at fajr, is obvious. But should you start 10 minutes before "to be safe?" Some say yes, some say no. Can you finish eating or must you spit it out if fajr time comes with food in your mouth? I've heard both.

What should pregnant and nursing women do if they break the fast for fear for themselves or the baby? Make it up? Pay a ransom? Both? All opinions exist.

What about injections? Definitely yes because it introduces something to the body? Definitely no because it's not a normal way of eating food? Yes if intravenous but no if intramuscular? Yep, heard all of those too.

What if you accidentally eat or swallow something, though you knew you were fasting? (I.e., you didn't forget.) One school has the opinion that even accidental swallowing can break your fast, while others disagree.

And I guess what bothers me the most about these is that the stricter opinions tend to not make any sense, but just seem like they exist "to be on the safe side." But it just makes things seem so complicated. In reading these opinions, though, it seems like they all sort of bash the other opinions, insisting that they are wrong, or even "bid'ah" (innovation.) So what if people as me questions about these subjects? "Go ask a scholar, and Allah knows best."

Adabs of the Student of Knowledge

2010-07-27T15:53:00.003-04:00

Several years ago I listened to a lecture online between some classes on engineering, and even took notes. But I can't remember where I found the lecture or who it was teaching. But the topic was, as the title of this post, the Adab (Etiquette & Manners) of the Student of Knowledge.

Since I will become a full-time student again soon inshaaAllaah (less than two months, now), this post is mostly for myself, but anyone can take it as advice or recommendations. There are two parts--the first is etiquette of the student, and the second is etiquette with the shaykh or teacher.

Etiquette of the Student

Ikhlaas - Sincerity in intention, undertaking study to improve one's iman and worship of Allah.
Purify the hearts of evil feelings - like pride, arrogance, anger, etc.
Purify body from sins - by not committing them, and making sincere repentance
Conceptualize the importance of knowledge of the deen (Islam)
Maintain good studying habits
Choose proper companions
Study at the earliest age possible
Have patience
Take notes

Etiquette with the teacher

Choose proper teachers
Respect the teacher and treat him properly
Have proper etiquette in front of the teacher, by paying attention, not talking to students during the class, avoiding excessive jokes and laughter
Pray for teacher and love him for the sake of Allah
Be patient concerning the teacher's faults
Sit properly in front of him (i.e., don't point your feet towards him)
Speak with him in a proper manner, respectfully

The lecture also gave the following sample schedule for full-time student as part of good studying habits:

Morning: memorize Qur'an

Late morning: study new topics

Afternoon: revise Qur'an, review older topics

Evening: research for personal subjects

I think having a regular schedule is important, but I'm not sure why the shaykh picked this particular one. I think the philosophy was that you're most "fresh" in the morning, so that's when you cover new material and memorize. I've had to give some thought to my own schedule (so I can schedule proper meals and workouts especially, into the hectic study-day) and might post more on it later inshaaAllaah. But this format might be a good place to start inshaaAllaah.

Learning or Teaching Arabic?

2010-07-27T05:31:00.003-04:00

Alif, Baa, Taa, Saa, no, Thaa...

Learning Arabic to understand the Qur'an didn't seem like that big of a deal to me until I attended the 10-day Bayyinah grammar course (Fundamentals of Arabic, I think) a few years ago back in North Carolina. And afterwards I didn't really see how anyone could think otherwise about learning Arabic.

Consequently, it surprised me when I found new Muslims who wanted to learn conversational Arabic--local dialects to speak with their Arab friends--instead of focusing on just the Qur'an. But why should they, if they don't even know what kind of a treasure trove the Qur'an is for students of classical Arabic?

So when I started a class for new Muslims myself, a lot of the early feedback was that they wanted to learn Arabic. Nothing fancy at first, but they needed somewhere to start--how to read the language at least. And while teaching Arabic, my focus was learning the alphabet with the sole purpose of learning to read the Qur'an.

Over the past few weeks my attempts to teach have been plagued with various hurdles, including inconsistent attendance and lack of any practice or study between meetings. I'm thinking that the first problem should be fixed by having a class devoted to Arabic for a shorter duration (in terms of weeks of meetings) but with greater frequency, instead of having it appended to a class teaching Islamic studies. Students should know that they have to go a little bit "beyond" to learn Arabic--they need to study it, I can't give it to them.

The second problem could possibly be fixed by having weekly assignments, somewhat like back in second grade. Draw the letter, match it with the name, match it with the connected form of the letter, for instance. That might encourage students to pull out their notes between class times and review--the only way they'll learn it.

Since my in-laws are staying at my home right now (alhamdulillah, it's such a blessing) I've had the opportunity to work on Arabic with my nephew, who is about 5 years old. He's using a standard book that just teaches kid to look at each letter, say it, identify any markings on it (like a madd, fatha--zabur in Urdu, tanween) and then sound it out accordingly. And he's doing a pretty good job of reading and identifying. All he struggles with is proper pronunciation of some of the sounds, especially since many of the letters appear in the Urdu alphabet he's more familiar with but have a different sound in Arabic than in Urdu.

The new Muslim students I've been teaching Arabic are at a completely different place, but I wonder if it wouldn't be best to teach them the same way? Just looking at blocks and reading: alif-fatha "a," alif-kasra "e," alif-dammah "u," and so on. I really worry that I'm just confusing them more than helping them. I've expected that they will review during the week but when we meet again some students are missing, the rest haven't practice, and I feel like I'm back at the beginning. And the next week, it's a different batch of students and I have to repeat, without moving forward (or else leaving almost everyone behind.)

So it's become abundantly clear to me that I'm not qualified to teach Arabic, at least not yet anyway. I can help my nephew review but really I'm not teaching him very much, just reading with him and making him practice. I was teaching a student privately for a few weeks, and by meeting more frequently with her she was able to progress rather quickly as compared to the class. But the only reason she was able to at first was because she practiced everything we went over together during the days we didn't meet.

Any students of Arabic who are just getting started should keep that in mind--they'll only get out of it what they put in, and putting in an hour of class time once a week isn't nearly enough. But practicing and reviewing regularly, that will make the lessons stick so the student can progress to reading and eventually understanding inshaaAllaah.

Anyone have any tips for me for teaching Arabic to adults? The class is pretty much over, but suggestions are welcome.

Reaching Out With Hate

2010-07-24T22:27:00.002-04:00

An organization called "Dove World Outreach Center" is having an "International Burn a Koran Day." You don't have to guess hard to figure out which day (Sept. 11th) they picked. I won't post the links to their youtube video explaining their mission to be hateful (apparently that's how Jesus was) or their facebook page (yeah, that's professional) and I encourage you not to go looking for them (unless you intend to flag them as inappropriate BS which has no place in civilized discourse.)

But before you are outraged, just consider the irony. The name of the organization is "Dove World Outreach Center." The dove is the symbol of peace, so the name conjurs the idea that they intend to "reach out" to the entire world with peace. As Muslims constitute 20% or more of the world, they should reach out with peace to Muslims too, right?

In the video, a preacher tries to explain why real Christians should be burning the Qur'an. It's apparently because, according to him (and the organization, as it's stated on their website), "Islam is of the devil." Ponder for a moment what that means... "of the devil."

Does it mean that it originated with the devil? Is manipulated by the devil? Is a part of the devil?

If he believes that the Bible is the Word of God (which is what he calls it in the video) doesn't he consider how Muslims are not, ever, having "Burn a Bible Day?" But hey, every now and again some Muslims do something stupid, so I (for one) won't be holding this "International Burn the Koran Day" against my Christian friends and relatives. Mostly I think these folks want to just piss Muslims off and I see no reason to give them that satisfaction.

But what is it about the Qur'an which they really take issue with? The fact that the Qur'an wholly rejects the attribution of children (or partners of any kind) to Allah. And about Christians who claim it, the Qur'an says what means:

(9:30) That is their statement from their mouths; they imitate the saying of those who disbelieved [before them]. May Allah destroy them; how are they deluded?

Can you read this and say anything other than that Allah Almighty has spoken the truth? Seriously.

I also think it's funny that they decided to have this "International" day on September 11th--a day fixed in the American psyche specifically. And I would love to tell them how horribly they've distorted the teachings of their own religion (you get more bees with honey than vinegar--did nobody teach them this lesson?) but I should probably let other Christians do that.

But just a thought--who is going to think they are rightly guided if they go around burning other people's holy books? Actions speak louder than words, and their actions really say nothing of "love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control," but rather of "hatred." And possibly sheer stupidity, but maybe that can't be helped.

Either have a laugh, or just ask these folks--if Christianity is a religion of peace, then why are you reaching out with aggression? If Christianity is a religion of truth, why can't you just explain the truth? Why do you have to hate on Muslims--what's better about the message of Islam that people accept it instead of Christianity?

Be Batman

2010-07-22T05:18:00.003-04:00

I have never been a fan of Batman. My earliest memories of Batman involve my brother successfully commandeering the television after school and clogging the tube with comic book cartoons. And of all the shows on at the time, for some reason I hated Batman most--I always found it kind of weird and confusing, and incredibly dull.

My experience with the Batman movies has been pretty much the same--in general they seem to me to be dark but lame, and really boring when not deeply disturbing. (And I don't generally like "disturbing" films.) For me, just once of "The Dark Knight" was enough to last a lifetime--I'm not sure why that movie was so popular, really.

But if you're now feeling defensive about Batman, let me get in one more thought. I heard once in a lecture (about da'wah, actually) that Batman was a man of few words--especially compared to his enemies, and namely the Joker. And that the writers of Batman tried to emphasize this point. Using just a few words--being concise--can be more weighty than "watering down" the meaning of a statement with many more words.

It came to my mind recently since I saw someone on a forum with the behavior of the Joker--all talk, no meaning, frequently jumping topics or changing the subject when answered. You have to kind of step back to try and look at the big picture, then be as pithy as possible. Since I've seen many people who attack Islam to have this characteristic (talking too much, using words to trick an audience) and seen people respond to it with an equal number of words (usually unconvincing,) it's worthwhile to learn a lesson from Batman.

When conveying the message of Islam, be clear, be concise, and repeat, so the truth does not get lost in the mud and muck being thrown around.

Celebrating Eid and Ramadan

2010-07-21T03:49:00.003-04:00

In about 10 days inshaaAllaah I'll be giving a talk at a Ramadan workshop for new Muslims about celebrating Ramadan and Eid. I'm thinking it's probably the easiest part of the worskhop--other speakers will be talking about the virtues of Ramadan, the fiqh of Ramadan, and making the most of the spiritual blessings of Ramadan, topics that are deeper and carry much more weight in Ramadan discussions. But I get to tackle the little afterthought--it seems that way after 30 days of fasting and worship--called Eid. So I can't really treat it like an afterthought, can I?

Looking back through some old blogs I saw that when talking about Ramadan and Eid, some people commented that they didn't really know how to celebrate Eid, and despite having been Muslim for a while had never actually been to an Eid prayer or celebration. Thinking back on my own experience now, I realize that I was tremendously helped by other sisters who reached out to me and invited me (or drug me along) to various activities and gatherings. In fact, not only on Eid but throughout Ramadan I was able to experience a new level of sisterhood than I had previously.

So I think that I will spend some time talking about the Eid prayer in such a way that attendees feel encouraged to attend the Eid prayer. And then to talk about socialization to prepare them to actually celebrate the day of Eid instead of letting it pass by as a footnote.

Some suggestions I've heard are to mention a gift to neighbors or friends, like an "iftar bowl," a a festive, decorative bowl or box full of dates or fruits with which people can break their fast, but also including the du'a for breaking the fast prominently displayed. Another suggestion about "eid baskets," giving gifts to friends and family--several gifts grouped together in baskets for each individual.

Any other ideas?

Please Stay and Pray

2010-07-19T05:28:00.003-04:00

Have you ever been sitting in a class at the masjid scheduled around the prayer time? Like, it lasts until asr, or until maghrib, for example? It tends to happen a lot, I think, since the call to prayer necessitates a break in the class and makes for a good stopping point. More importantly, it gives you the advantage to pray that salah, at least, in the masjid. That is, if you don't have a habit of performing prayers in the masjid, it gives you a reason to do so.

In my time as a Muslim, I've learned that it's not appropriate to leave the masjid after the adhan is called unless you have prayed with the congregation. Why? Here's why:

Abu Hurairah (R.A.) said, "The prophet (S.A.W.) ordered us, when we are in the Masjid and the Salah is called for, not to leave the Masjid until we pray." [Ahmad]

See? And when I took the Fiqh of Salah class from AlMaghrib I learned that you should pray that salah with the congregation even if you've already prayed it! (For example, if you're travelling, or if you follow a different opinion for asr.)

But I have at times been sitting in a class or halaqah which lasts until a prayer time--at which point nearly everyone gets up to leave. I'm not sure if I think it's bad timing or bad etiquette--I'm sure that they don't know about this hadith, or else they might be inclined to stay. After a few years, I've learned to adjust my schedule to the prayer times, and absent any extenuating circumstances, will stay for the congregational prayer if I am there for the adhan.

But what's the best way to tell people, when they are getting up to leave, if they figure that the class is over and they need to get home. Will a few more minutes (20-30 max) make that much of a difference, at 9:00pm? Do many people just not know about this hadith and etiquette? I wonder, and also wonder the best way to share it. Thoughts?

Finishing the Qur'an

2010-07-18T04:08:00.004-04:00

A few weeks ago I met a sister who was planning to finish memorizing the Qur'an by the end of this year. I was at a halaqah where I was supposed to be "teaching," though I didn't feel like I had much to teach while she was there. She was about the same age as me, and didn't really know anyone else at the halaqah, and I don't know anyone there knew what kind of person was sitting among them.

I have a tremendous amount of respect for sisters who have memorized the Qur'an, and the magnitude of the endeavor. Over the past few years I have tried to memorize the Qur'an, little by little. I was embarrassed to spend time around my peers knowing only a handful of surahs from the end of the Qur'an. I heard Yasir Qadhi say about applicants to IlmSummit that the amount of Qur'an memorized was a factor in admission, and being a hafidh was ideal. After learning to read Arabic and studying tajweed, memorization became a bit easier, but I still wasn't really headed towards becoming a hafidhah or anything, and didn't even have one whole (or even half) juz in my head. I was just trying to learn about as much Qur'an as kids learn in Sunday school. And that's not exactly the same level as "serious" students of knowledge, even though I considered myself as serious as the rest. I've just gotten a late start and have to make up a few (like 20) years.

I still know about that much Qur'an, but for now my focus has changed. On applying to Bayyinah, while taking a reading/tajweed test, the sister I was speaking to suggested that I start reading the Qur'an in Arabic more frequently. She suggested I start with about half a page a day, and work up to two pages a day and just read every day.

So I started doing that, making gradual progress and trying to read a page or two daily. But on my recent trip back to North Carolina to visit my family, with plenty of time spent on planes and in airports, my reading of the Qur'an improved tremendously, just by reading it much more, and more often. When I left, I was still reading Surat al-Baqarah, and now alhamdulillah I'm reading Surat al-Ma'idah. Perspective? I had been reading Surat al-Baqarah since April.

And then I got this crazy idea that I would try to keep reading more, and try to have completed it by the end of Ramadan. I'm still not reading very quickly, and unfortunately I don't understand much, but I can tell that my reading has improved--speed and accuracy. Now that we're into the month of Sha'ban, I don't have much time to get there, but I think I'm going to at least try.

So for now I've stopped memorizing to focus on reading. And as I said, it is making a difference.

When I first came to Seattle, I talked to some other convert sisters about this particular struggle, reading Qur'an with enough proficiency to be able to read on a regular basis. For instance, there is a hadith about reading Surat al-Kahf on Fridays--but imagine if it took you from the time of jumu'ah until maghrib to finish it? That is, if you could commit yourself to sit there and struggle through the pages for that long.

And at the time, it bothered me that even though I was memorizing short chapters I still couldn't sit down and read something like Surat al-Kahf on Fridays, or Surah Ya-Seen in the morning, or Surat al-Mulk after 'isha. And I don't think I'm there yet still, but I am getting closer. Although, for now all my reading time is pretty much devoted to getting through the Qur'an the first time.

Even though now I'm reading it with understanding, I can't help but appreciate that I'm forming a habit that will continue through my study of Arabic. And once I have learned enough Arabic to understand it inshaaAllaah, I hope that the meaning will unfold as I continue to read it, over and over and over.

I have heard that the Companions used to finish reading the Qur'an in a week--though now we might finish it only once in a year at Ramadan, or less than that. And although I've read a translation completely, I don't think it's quite the same as reading the Arabic. So here I am publicizing my goal--to finish reading the Qur'an for the first (but hopefully not last) time. And then, to maintain a habit of reading the Qur'an daily, and eventually to memorize it in entirety.

Ramadan Over-Planning

2010-07-16T23:11:00.007-04:00

I just found out that on the same day I offered to help teach in a Ramadan workshop for new Muslims, there's an even better Ramadan seminar going on in another part of town. There's a very small bit of overlap, so I might go from one event to the next--should I suggest everyone do the same, I wonder, if they come to the first?

There's a big difference, I think, in the quality of a presentation offered by a da'ee, versus that by a shaykh. I hate to see Muslims having to compete with each other when events are offered at the same time (although this kind of seems to be directed to different groups of Muslims.) But it's one side effect of a larger community.

This Ramadan will be my first in Washington and I'm still learning about how things work here. There will be some different challenges here than I had in Raleigh--being further north, maghrib times comes much later, and so does isha, while fajr comes earlier, making taraweeh an even harder sacrifice. But I won't be working or in school this year so I should be able to be more flexible. (Sleeping during the day, for instance.)

Last year I saw one of my friends offering a weekly iftar for a group of convert sisters which seemed to me to benefit all of them. So I'm hoping to do something similar this year, here in Washington, by hosting a weekly iftar for ladies, especially new Muslims, and offering a short lesson before maghrib. Since in the Compass class I'm teaching we've covered salah, I thought it would help to review four different surahs, one each week, to explain the meaning and work on memorizing. So inshaaAllaah we'll do Al-Fatihah, mostly as review, then Al-Ikhlas, Al-Falaq, and An-Naas from the end of the Qur'an.

But again, I hope that my little iftar won't conflict with other events (iftars) that the sisters might like to attend, but there's only so much I can do. For me, visiting people for iftar in my first Ramadan was one of the best parts--I met so many new sisters and it really helped to increase my iman. Now that I have a place with my husband (who is totally supportive of my idea), I'd like to host other people and help make this Ramadan good for them, and a means towards an increase in iman and taqwa.

Day Dreaming

2010-07-16T17:54:00.000-04:00

Around the country, the instructors from Bayyinah have been helping Muslims to appreciate the Qur'an and Islam through understanding of the Arabic language. After offering traveling courses, weekend seminars, and summer programs across the US, now they are taking one more step--a full-blown full-time 10-month Arabic program. How many Muslims across the country have dreamed to be able to study Arabic at that intensity, at that level, without going overseas?

By the grace of Allah, I was admitted into this program, aptly called Dream. So I will be traveling after Ramadan from Seattle, Washington to Dallas, Texas for ten months. I've been in Washington only 7 months but have come to love it. I have made friends and gotten involved with the community, even starting a project that will probably stop for as long as I am away. And by the time I move back, inshaaAllaah, I will have spent longer in Texas than in Washington, and more time away from my husband than with him.

Unfortunately, he won't be coming with me--and that is the greatest drawback of all. But at the same time he's been incredibly supportive, even urging me to apply in the first place, when I didn't think I was likely to get in. Before we got married, we both stressed how learning Arabic was important for us, and especially for teaching our children (inshaaAllaah!) because of the impact it has on our ability to understand Qur'an.

For me the Dream program is the answer to a du'a I've been making for years--since the first time I took an Arabic grammar class with Br. Nouman. And my prayer is to understand Arabic so I can understand the Qur'an. Alhamdulillah, He has made it easy for me so far, and I pray that He continues to make it so.

A moment of sisterhood

2010-07-16T03:11:00.005-04:00

I was at the grocery store today and passed by a mother and daughter both wearing hijab. Even though we have never seen each other before, we greeted each other with a smile and the Islamic greeting "As-salaamu alaykum." The same thing happened yesterday at the gym--I saw another girl running on a treadmill while wearing hijab, and on my way out of the gym I passed her and greeted her--and she smiled to return the greeting as well.

We Muslim women can greet each other even though we don't know each other because we know that we are all Muslims, and admit it to the world by our choice of clothing. Even though we speak different languages, come from different countries, and our lives only overlap for that brief moment, we can still share a moment of sisterhood fostered by a simple greeting: peace be upon you.

Isn't it beautiful how we are connected, and how the connection can manifest even though we don't know each other?

Crash Course in Desi

2010-07-16T02:12:00.004-04:00

I guess that since getting married to a desi (he's Pakistani) my understanding of ~~desi~~ Pakistani culture has improved, but I think I'm about to get a real crash course in the coming weeks. Because my husband has lived in the USA for a few years now and is very accommodating to my American background, it's been easy to ignore much of his Pakistani heritage. Not that I do so intentionally, but in 8 months in the USA (and 0 days in Pakistan) it's hard to really understand his culture at any deep level.

But (alhamdulillah!) I'm excited to announce that his family will be visiting us (inshaaAllaah) in coming days to stay for a few weeks. And this means that I'll need to start practicing my Urdu, for starters. When we got married, my husband said he'd teach me Urdu when we went to Pakistan--but it turns out that his family is visiting first. So far, he speaks to me almost exclusively in English so I've only learned a few Urdu phrases--which is nice, since it gets a laugh from sisters and aunties at dinner parties, though seems to confuse children, who tend to give me odd looks without answering. (Are they thinking, "Uh, why's that white girl speaking Urdu?")

I also want to learn about practical customs so that I don't inadvertently offend my gracious in-laws. They're so sweet to me, I'm afraid not just of my own shortcomings but also that even if I try to be helpful it might not come across the way I intend.

So overall the visit is making me both happy and nervous--and slightly frantic as I try to get the house ready. Any advice will be welcome!

Moving to Eat Zabihah

2010-07-08T21:24:00.003-04:00

Since I became a Muslim, I followed a fairly lenient approach towards eating meat. While zabihah (properly slaughtered according to Islam) meat was available, I never purchased any at the meat market, and didn't make a particular effort to abstain from non-zabihah options, as long as I knew there was no pork or alcohol contained or served with it. But since my husband has always eaten zabihah meat exclusively, even since moving to the USA from Pakistan, we agreed before marriage that we would only have zabihah meat in the house.

And so my transition to eating zabihah has been relatively simple. I haven't decided to wholly exclude non-zabihah meat from my diet, but since I almost always eat at home, and when we go out there are almost always zabihah options, the occasion when I don't eat zabihah is pretty rare.

Since I have been on a high protein diet of sorts for several months now, you might think that choosing zabihah might have been harder--since I actually eat quite a lot of meat. But alhamdulillah, it has been incredibly simple.

Partly this is because my husband and I have a tacit grocery arrangement--usually I will buy all the other groceries and he will buy the meat for me. I've not yet gone to the halal meat shop (I should soon, to feel comfortable going there) but my husband has been able to find for me any cut of meat I wanted, ground beef and chicken, plenty of boneless skinless chicken breasts, and even halal turkey bacon. And as long as my husband takes care of the meat, making sure I've got whatever I need, I haven't felt the need to make any major dietary changes by switching to zabihah meat.

Also, I love seafood in general so it's not a problem for me to enjoy seafood entrées at restaurants if zabihah is not available--although my husband and I usually, if we do eat at a restaurant, opt for halal shops run by Muslims.

One of the few exceptions is when we eat on the road, and "fast food" is the only option. Because of the diet, it's important for me to have lean proteins, but if we pass a McDonald's or Burger King, the only fish on the menu is a fried filet. And while my husband will take that option, I find it healthier to order grilled chicken. Though I do usually pack snacks and meals for when we are on the road to avoid this occurrence most of the time.

Since the vast majority of my meals (I'd say all but one or two in a month) are zabihah, I feel like it would be relatively simple to decide to entirely restrict my diet, but I haven't done so. It has felt like a healthy and easy transition at this point, rather than an unforgiving change I might give up. Certainly, everything I cook and prepare at home is zabihah, and I know now that sticking to zabihah can be relatively easy (at least, as long as you live in a place with plenty of Muslims who demand zabihah and halal options.)

So rather than ever suggesting that someone make an immediate change in this regard, I'd say take it easy, and get there gradually. It can be easy.

Hate Crime or Dirty Prank?

2010-06-28T01:24:00.003-04:00

For the past few weeks I've been helping at some local halaqahs by teaching the Seerah--the biography of the Prophet Muhammad (saws.) And recently we've been discussing how the Muslims were persecuted by the Quraysh in Mecca before the hijrah (migration to Medina.) Some of the enemies of Islam would really go out of their way to attack and annoy the Muslims, and especially the Prophet Muhammad (saws.) They would drop the innards of slaughtered animals on him, and dump their garbage at his doorstep. It's not like they're just lazily opposed, but they went out of their way to cause trouble.

And that's what came to mind when I heard about this: Feces smeared on Muslim van near Bellevue mosque. I heard about it on Thursday before it was reported to police through the brothers who operate the van. The van is covered in advertising for the WhyIslam? project, with the website address whyislam.org and the hotline number 1-877-WHY-ISLAM on the sides and back. So it's not just a "Muslim van" but a van with messages about Islam, clearly owned by Muslims promoting Islam. So the first thought that comes to mind is probably "ew, gross," but I think it's hard not to assume that the van was targeted by whatever sick person rubbed their hands in dog poo.

The van was parked on a public street (where it is parked quite often, actually) across from the mosque in town. And Thursday afternoon someone spotted the muck on the windshield, driver's side window, and driver's door handle.

Thankfully, the van wasn't damaged in any way and we can just wash it off, so I understand the police reacting like it's not a very big deal--and realistically I don't think there's much that they can do. I live in the same neighborhood, and know how quiet it is at night, so I think it's likely that this happened while nobody was watching, so there's not a way to catch whoever did it.

But should we consider it a hate crime? Or just a prank by some kid or drunk who happened to drive by? I think it's likely that the van was specifically vandalized because of the message on it, and support the decision to report it to police. (Although involving the media seems a bit unnecessary, in my opinion.) Now in case there is any escalation (should the culprit become more bold and damage property), this previous incident will have been documented. In case that there are more incidents of vandalism and violence directed at Muslims, I think they should have the help of law enforcement to protect them. And since there does seem to be a national trend in that direction (more attacks on Muslims and mosques), it's better to be on the safe side.

(For picture, http://media.pnwlocalnews.com/images/14015bellevueMuslimVan2.jpg)

No posts for a month?

2010-06-22T19:30:00.003-04:00

What am I doing with my life?

Indeed, it's time to check-in. My husband keeps reminding me to blog, and I keep procrastinating. So don't blame him. I kept thinking that I wasn't busy (even though I couldn't find time to do even simple things!) and a little chat with my therapist helped me realize, oh yes, I'm stressed too!

Over the past several weeks I have been busy with just a few different things. The stress mostly comes from a likely upcoming move (which I'll have to write a lot about soon inshaaAllaah as things develop) and three different teachings engagements I'm involved in every week.

In this area, there are actually lots of different activities for new Muslims. Which one is best? So much depends on a person's situation, personality, schedule, and what they're really looking for. So it's nice that there's variety. And for those of us who attend them all--hey, it's nice to have something to do on a rainy weekend, right?

Two of these are evening halaqahs, one on a Friday and one on a Sunday. I don't run either one (which saves me the stress of managing and communicating with everyone who attends,) and only volunteer in teaching a few things. And right now, the only thing I'm teaching is the Seerah. I started at the Friday one first so we're a little ahead--which means that every week I have to prepare for two different lessons, instead of repeating the same. But on the plus side--how much more time I spent reviewing the Seerah for myself? Alhamdulillah, what an amazing review.

And then on Saturdays I run a class for new Muslims, called Compass. We have covered prayer and faith and started learning Arabic, with more subjects coming up in the next two months inshaaAllaah. For this class I'm preparing slides and materials for each weekly class, and since it's my first time teaching a class on my own this way, I'm learning a lot of lessons. I'm learning how much information students can handle in just an hour, and how to deal with absences and review. And how long it takes people to memorize. But some of my theories before starting were correct--if you push people to memorize something (properly motivate them), then they can memorize it.

But I spend a lot of time during the week preparing for these weekend halaqahs and classes.

Another major time hog for me has been my workouts and training sessions, and nutrition appointments. At first I didn't notice because I wasn't busy to start with, but now it makes a bigger impact. On the other hand, now the appointments have been scaled back. To give you an idea--I was seeing a trainer 3 times a week, for about 75 minutes each time, followed by another 30 minutes on my own in the gym, at least. So there goes at least two hours, not to mention travel time. And then the other two days in the gym took an hour and a half out of my day, each, at least. Now I see a trainer only twice a week, and each session lasts about an hour, with another 20 minutes I spend on my own afterwards. So it's not much, but it seems like I have a little more time these days.

Also, I used to have nutrition appointments every week, which are now every other week. And the therapist I mentioned earlier? I still see her but even less often (from every 3 to every 6 weeks) and group sessions which met every week are finished, although I might continue with another group since it was actually pretty helpful.

But now I'm doing much better with my time, especially since I'm trying to go to bed earlier. Actually, it's kind of difficult living up here (and worse, probably, in places further north!) to get the night prayers straightened out. These days are the longest of the year, and Isha isn't until 11:30pm, while fajr is before 3am! So if you stay up to pray isha, and then stay up just a little while afterwards, it becomes very tempting to just stay up for fajr, and sleep afterwards. That's a habit I'm trying to break, since it just ate up so much of the daytime by sleeping all morning. And I'm not nearly as productive at night.

So now I try to go to bed after maghrib (which is 9:30pm) or at the latest, right after isha. If I sleep after maghrib then I can get up around 1-2pm and pray isha a little on the late side, and stay up until fajr and then sleep again. Or I can sleep and get up around 12:30-1 to pray, sleep again, and get up around 4:30am for fajr. (Easier said than done: it's not easy to keep getting up when your body wants to sleep. It revolts.) And if I pray isha, then I try to get up around 4:30am to pray fajr, which is kind of on the late side, not much room for error, but I can still pray it in its time and get a few hours of sleep. I've found that if I'm only asleep for 2-3 hours I have an especially hard time waking for fajr (don't even hear the alarm), but after 4 hours I can manage it.

But with my newfound productivity I've been able to really clean the apartment (my kitchen and bathrooms haven't been this clean since we moved in!) And having a clean place to live and work makes it easier to be more productive.

And now I'm also getting ready for my in-laws to visit (I think nothing will make you clean house like a visit from your in-laws!) in a few weeks, so I'm trying to get the place really organized and less cluttered. So while I'm not blogging, that's what I'm doing. Most of the time.

Amusing Antagonists

2010-05-17T23:31:00.003-04:00

I can't help but be amused by the recent reporting about Ergun Caner--a man who claims to be an expert on Islam, having converted to evangelical Christianity in his youth. He's even written a few books on the subject, one of which I made a point to particularly refute in a separate blog (although that "project" of mine didn't get very far since I got bored/lazy/busy.) But in his books he kind of exposes himself (to Muslims, anyway) as not being an accurate authority. Not that Muslims would read his books to learn about Islam--he actually writes for Christians to help them guide Muslims to apostasy.

But anyway, when I saw this article today I had to stymie a laugh. A similar article has been published by the Associated Press saying much of the same. In short, he's being investigated to see if he's telling the truth about his personal biography. Personally, I don't think it's that big of a deal since I thought that a person would have to be pretty naive to take him seriously in the first place. And maybe he just made a few mistakes when recounting his past in different places so that the story became a little convoluted in the public view.

But it is fascinating, and I encourage you to take a look at this website to learn more about Caner's distorted past. It's actually pretty funny, I think. The man behind the site has done a fair job of listing all the "issues" with Caner's claims about himself and his family--many are the same things I recognized years ago just in reading his books. But the brother does a good job of organizing them and calling him out.

Although I'm sure there are some people who genuinely convert to Christianity from Islam, some of the prominent preachers and writers who claim to have been Muslim do seem suspicious, including the Caners. So I do find it amusing to see them get called out and questioned. It doesn't really have much of an effect on Muslims, but rather the Christians who have been listening to these guys and believe what they say about Islam. Because in fact they really do know Christianity very well and have studied it extensively--it makes them well qualified to be Christian preachers, right? It's just their knowledge of Islam which is lacking, making them ill equipped to explain Islam to Christians or anyone else.

Losing Touch?

2010-05-16T04:28:00.002-04:00

Alhamdulillah, I have been a Muslim for almost five years--just one month shy, actually. I've had time to avail myself of opportunities--classes and socials--for new Muslims, Muslim youth, and general Muslim communities here in Washington and back in North Carolina, not to mention a few events I attended out of town. My perspective on Islam has changed a little in that time, so that Islam is more comfortable to me and less intimidating, and I'm afraid that I might have lost some of my initial passion for the faith.

But what concerns me today is whether or not I'm out of touch with the needs of new Muslims. This issue in particular is one to which I've devoted many, many blog posts over the years, but something hit me today: I still am overwhelmed by thinking about the problems other converts face.

I know what my own problems were (and are) and how I faced them--for better and worse. And I feel somewhat equipped to discuss them with other converts facing similar issues. But since I've come to Washington, I've spent a lot more time with new Muslims--even now working on a class specifically for new Muslims--and I'm reminded that people do take different paths and face different challenges. And some issues facing other new Muslims just leave me overwhelmed, without any sensible advice or response to provide.

It's why I feel that I might have "lost touch" with new Muslims and the experiences they have, after spending so much time trying to get out of the "new Muslim" phase myself. So the last few weeks have been pretty enlightening for me, reminding me of the difficulties that people face when coming to Islam and also the dedication they have to their faith. And the amazing way Allah provides them with the resources to overcome their challenges.

Every challenge is a test--and we aren't tested unless we have what we need to pass the test. Knowing that, and knowing that with every difficulty comes ease (Surat Ash-Sharh.) I read this chapter to a Sunday school class one time, and I read it to myself pretty often as well.

So even though I can't solve anyone's problems, and often don't even have much in the way of advice to give, what I can (and should) tell new Muslims is that they can always turn to Allaah, and that they should always turn to Allaah, and He is the One who will ease their difficulty and reward their patience in dealing with it.

Hijab Blog

2010-05-04T14:43:00.002-04:00

Recently I discovered a blog all about hijab--a great resource for Muslimahs who cover, want to cover, think about covering, etc. Cleverly titled "I Got It Covered," it offers stories, tips, personal experiences and more on the issue of hijab.

For the month of May, they accepted reader submissions with personal stories about starting to wear hijab. So I wrote up a submission, and it was published today, May 4.

So head on over there and read it: Sorority President Dons Hijab. And then subscribe to their RSS feed or bookmark the page, and check back often. Enjoy all the reader-submitted hijab stories this month, and then the regular posting back in June inshaaAllaah.

Islam and my view on wealth and poverty

2010-04-30T03:13:00.003-04:00

There are some people of my acquaintance who sincerely oppose any kind of social welfare projects--along with (perhaps because of) some right-wing pundits. These folks believe that poor people don't work hard; at least, not as hard as the rich or middle-class. They believe that their own efforts (pretty much exclusively) contribute to their own success.

Islam prevents me from siding with that opinion. If I believe in Allah, Lord and Sustainer, and believe that He is responsible for providing sustenance for me and for everyone, I can't take credit for it. I can't take credit for my wealth, or blame someone else for their poverty. Just like I can't credit someone with their health, or blame someone for their illness--it's all from Allaah. Wealth is a test as surely as poverty, health as well as illness. And if I, for instance, am being tested with wealth, then it's my responsibility to distribute it as charity to those who are tested with poverty.

With this view of the world, how can people despise social welfare and social justice? How can they despise the poor?

Many people work hard and are blessed with wealth. Some don't work hard at all and still they're wealthy. And many people work hard and still live in poverty.

Unless we truly acknowledge the blessings that we have in life, and the source of those blessings, it's all too easy to blame people for their own troubles and refuse help. But if we understand that everything is from Allah, and understand that we're going to be accountable for how we handle our wealth (if we have it), then isn't it impossible to withhold from charity?

Calling on Allah

2010-04-21T05:14:00.004-04:00

I figured I would start the Compass class by talking about du'a. With agreement that Salah is the most important thing to teach new Muslims, I decided to first explain the concept of du'a, of calling on Allah. Essentially salah is both du'a and istighfar, a means of cultivating one's relationship with Allah. Our relationship with Allah is that of slaves and master--we worship Allah. And the very essence of worship is du'a.

We should understand that our salah is a way of calling on Allah, and that we can call on Him anytime we want--and really, the more the better. Just making requests of Allah implies and fosters our belief and reliance on Him alone. Asking Him means we recognize His Hearing, His Knowledge and Power, while also acknowledging our powerlessness. So it seems that du'a is a fitting place to start.

We can call on Allah whenever we want, and know that He hears us.

And when My servants ask you, [O Muhammad], concerning Me - indeed I am near. I respond to the invocation of the supplicant when he calls upon Me. So let them respond to Me [by obedience] and believe in Me that they may be [rightly] guided.

Moreover, we have the benefit of Allah's response to our supplications. Firstly we might get the thing we are asking for. But if not, if Allah withholds it from us, then instead He may protect us from some other hardship we might have to face, or else it will become a reward for us on the Day of Judgment. So there's no reason not to make du'a--it's a win-win-win scenario.

But in case a person's du'a is not accepted, there may be a sin from which the person has not repented. In which case, the solution is to repent. Repentance is a topic on its own, but briefly this means the person should acknowledge the incorrect or sinful behavior in which he is or was engaged in, and correct it, ask forgiveness from Allah for it, and abstain from it in the future.

There is also an amazing story from the time of Moses and the Children of Israel. While they were wandering in the desert and suffering from a drought, Moses prayed to Allah for rain. But instead of rain it only got hotter and dryer. And then Allah revealed to Moses that one man among the Children of Israel had been sinning against Allah for some 40 years, so Moses was instructed to have that man leave the group before Allah would bring the rain.

So Moses went to the people and explained--he didn't know who the man was, but asked that the man, whoever he was, would leave. But imagine if you were that man? You knew your sins but nobody else around you knew. How hard would it be then to expose yourself? But yet if you didn't, then you and everyone else might die of thirst. And he recognized that all this time Allah had covered his sins. So he prayed, sincerely, to Allah for forgiveness and for Allah to continue to cover his sins. And then it started to rain.

But Moses asked Allah why the rain was coming even though the sinful man had not left. And Allah revealed that the same man had repented of his sins so Allah had allowed the rain for all of the people. Then Moses wanted to know who the man was, because of whom all of the Children of Israel had been first deprived of and then blessed with rain. But Allah refused, telling Moses that He had hid the man's sins for 40 years, so would He now expose them after repentance?

It's such a beautiful story and filled with loads of reminders for us today. That no matter how long we have sinned, Allah still accepts repentance. That our sins might not just be affecting us, and that if we find our prayers not being answered, perhaps we should try to correct ourselves and ask for forgiveness. And remember that we may call on Allah at any time for any need, and we should. It confirms and strengthens our belief in Allah and as an act of worship it can nurture our relationship with Him. And once we understand that, we can discuss salah with an appreciation of it as an act of submission and worship and so much more than a simple ritual.

There is much more that can be said about du'a--be patient for the result instead of hastily anticipating it, or declaring that Allah didn't answer; the best times to make du'a are after performing a good deed, like after salah or before breaking one's fast. The last third part of the night is also a great time to make du'a, as is while one is in salah during the prostration. Moreover, there are some etiquettes about making du'a in the first place which I think I will not include in this part of the class. Mostly, I don't have very much time, and I also don't want students to feel bogged down in "rules" when it comes to du'a. Is there something I'm omitting but I should include? Please let me know!

Do the Healthy Dance

2010-04-13T19:01:00.001-04:00

Today I was watching a health and fitness video, one component of a fitness program I'm participating in, about three phases or stages a person will experience during weight loss. The first stage they called the "honeymoon" stage, followed by the "frustration" stage, and lastly the "acceptance" phase.

I thought it was kind of interesting, since I've spent some time thinking lately about how a person can maintain weight loss and changes in lifestyle habits over a long period of time. Most people who are successful in losing weight actually fall back on hold habits and regain the weight, regardless of the program or "diet" they were on to lose the weight in the first place. So it's worth considering.

The "honeymoon" stage is when a person is just starting on a program and is seeing plenty of results. The person is losing weight rapidly and usually with relative ease, is enthusiastic about going to the gym and meeting with trainers and dietitians, carefully tracks their nutrition daily and works out regularly. I'm probably still in this phase, actually; I even enjoy talking (and blogging, tweeting, etc.) about the program.

But after a while, the person will become frustrated, either with the work involved or maybe less drastic results, and might start slipping in their meal tracking and workouts. That's the "frustration" stage. Of course, that can turn the weight loss around or at the very least make it stall, which causes a person to become even more frustrated and start looking towards their previous bad habits, from when life was "easy."

The key to success, however (apparently, at least, according to this video) is reaching another stage, called "acceptance," when the person understands the body's needs and is able to make a real lifestyle commitment to health. Eating healthy becomes a way of life, and so does exercise, until it doesn't seem like drudgery (to quote the video) to have to work out and watch food intake.

Obviously succeeding at maintaining weight loss is complicated, with many factors involved. But thinking of it this way makes it seem that if you can just get through the "frustration" stage without turning back to food for comfort, or slacking when it comes to nutrition or exercise, then it can become permanent.

Married Life

2010-04-02T20:38:00.003-04:00

As soon as I got married, people started asking me all the time "How's married life?" as if I might have some cute quip about it. I never did have a good answer, but now I've had some time to think about it, at least. In the CD set 'Fiqh of Love,' Sh. Yaser Birjas mentioned how silly of a question this is to ask someone newly married. But as I said--I've had a little bit of time to think.

My married life--maybe not anyone else's, but mine--is fun.

It's been fun getting to learn more about Pakistani culture, as well. And I have nothing but praise for the women I've met here among the wives of my husband's friends. They've been very welcoming, considering that I don't speak their first language, know very little about their culture, and come from a completely different country. So I've had the opportunity to attend many weekly dinner parties--a new experience for me--and even a cook-out.

I never really had any experience going to dinner parties growing up, and even after Islam they were mostly with just single women, so the segregation in dinner parties was new. I'm sure that for Muslims who have grown up seeing adults segregation naturally it's not weird at all. For me it was just a little bit of adjustment, though I'm not sure it bothered me as much as it might some people (example).

The segregation makes things a little bit more complicated--you need an extra set of serving dishes, and there's never enough chairs, not to mention communication (we need more rice) barriers and who's going to ferry the food back and forth. For us it also meant hanging curtains in hallways so men couldn't see the women as they came in.

But I'll say that even though American apartments don't necessarily make it easy, I think desis have this concept right about segregation at dinner parties, keeping the men and women in completely different rooms. I don't think it's necessarily right for all gatherings (especially classes in the masjid, committee meetings, khutbahs and the like) but for a purely social engagement, what need is there that men and women be sitting and talking with each other?

I'll admit that at first it was awkward to be in social situations with complete strangers--since my husband wasn't around--but I got along, met new people, and now I am comfortable with them and they're not strangers any more. And, if I'm going to a dinner party to socialize, why would I want to socialize with my husband (who I see at home?) And there's no way I really want to socialize with the other men.

So I'm coming around to view it as the best, even though the first few times I was pretty chicken, not having my husband there to hold my hand. But now, thankfully, I'm over that stage (most of the time) and have a pleasant time visiting with some new friends--very kind, welcoming, hospitable people.

Compass: A Guide For New Muslims

2010-03-22T02:12:00.005-04:00

After finding and choosing Islam, many new Muslims are left with a community ill-equipped to help them fully embrace their new faith. Instructions following their shahadah might include tips on where to buy halal meat, or how to tie a hijab, which to the giver might seem like practical advice.

But stepping into the world of Islam can be overwhelming, with questions arising at every turn. These questions--from simple things like how to pray, to more complex issues about marriage and Islamic law--need answers, and explanations. To a new Muslim, even a simple khutbah (Friday sermon) might be misunderstood without the ability to recognize common Arabic words. Imagine someone mistaking "Rasoolullah" for "Allah," and the implications of that mistake.

Some communities of Muslims might have ongoing organized programs to accommodate new Muslims, by educating them in the religion and providing social resources, while others might have a loose social network that new Muslims might find shy to penetrate. When I was a new Muslim, I really wanted to be able to learn as much about the religion as I could--scattered bits of information were difficult to put together. I've seen other converts struggle with similar problems, and without having access to a basic guide about Islam to launch them towards their goals, and prepare them for the challenges they might face as a Muslim.

So I've given thought to the idea of classes specifically for new Muslims, or at least geared primarily towards new Muslims, and am hoping to implement one such class here locally in the coming months. I have some other ideas about providing resources for new Muslims, particularly in conjunction with the planned class--including a blog devoted to the project, podcasts, and maybe even a mobile app. Right now the project, which is going to be called Compass (logo above), is just getting started. But for now and in the future, helpful ideas and guidance from others who are approaching similar issues will be invaluable.

I have high hopes for this project--that inshaaAllaah it can continuously benefit new Muslims across the country, available as a resource and a path to help them understand and implement Islam.

Learning to Read

2010-02-12T03:17:00.003-05:00

It can be intimidating for a new Muslim to be told that the Qur'an has to be read in Arabic when he or she can't make heads or tails of the Arabic script in the first place. So learning not just letters but pronunciation, grammar, vocabulary seems a daunting task.

But if I may say so, it is one of the more rewarding endeavors in which a person can dedicate his time. And in actuality, it's not as difficult as it might seem at the start. In fact, throughout the Qur'an, Allah describes Arabic and the Qur'an as easy.

So, [O Muhammad], We have only made Qur'an easy in the Arabic language that you may give good tidings thereby to the righteous and warn thereby a hostile people. 19:97

Verily, We have made this (Qur'an) easy, in thy tongue, in order that they may give heed. 44:58

54:17, 22, 32, 40 And We have certainly made the Qur'an easy for remembrance, so is there any who will remember? 54:17, 22, 32, and 40

So before we start complaining about it being hard, we should remember that Allah, the Lord of the Worlds, is making it easy for us. Making it easy to learn to read Arabic, to speak it, and to understand it in the Qur'an.

Now, for some people the motivation for learning Arabic is more to learn spoken Arabic--perhaps to communicate with Arab Muslims, maybe new family members. In that case, I can't promise it will be as easy, but the person whose intention is solely for the sake of Allah, to learn the Qur'an, I know will have the help of Allah.

I think it's sad that to see Muslim who have had years of opportunities to learn and still haven't made any progress regarding the Arabic language. Do they know the blessings they are missing out on, that they can't even read the Qur'an in the original Arabic?

Moreover, I know many converts struggle in trying to memorize the Qur'an, and we know from a hadith that Allah will reward their struggle. But for years to go by having memorized only one or two surahs? Is it necessary to spend hours listening to audio over and over and over to try to pick up the sounds? For anyone who wants to start memorizing more Qur'an, I would say they should focus their energy on learning to read Arabic. I can say from my own experience that memorizing became much faster, easier, and fulfilling, once I could read the Arabic. Sounds became words, words became phrases and phrases took on meaning. Being able to read the Qur'an in Arabic while trying to memorize can only facilitate memorization.

So I have come to the opinion that one essential component of any program for helping new Muslims must be helping them to learn the Arabic language--not for speaking, not for conversation, but to start reading the Qur'an. And the minimum responsibility should be to teach them the letters--recognition and pronunciation--and proper recitation of the Qur'an.

A class for new Muslims to teach Arabic, starting with letters, should actively involve the students--reading writing words as soon as they know the relevant letters. Seeing letters on a board or in a book is not enough to learn them. Worksheets, tests and quizzes are good motivational tools to keep the students practicing the letters consistently. Consistency is the only way to make it stick--constant use.

For students trying to learn the Arabic alphabet, flashcards are an exceptionally useful tool. Correcting the pronunciation requires a teacher with a good ear and lots of practice. The articulation of some letters is an acquired skill--children can learn easily, but with dedication adults can become equally proficient and should not be deterred because a letter is difficult or not present in their native language.

But a person cannot stop their Arabic after learning the letters--they must progress immediately to learning tajweed. This is to correct and improve their articulation, and to help them begin in reciting Qur'an. When able to actually read and recite the Qur'an, even if only for barakah (without understanding), a person is at least establishing a connection with the Qur'an, and is consistently practicing the Arabic already learnt. This "practice" keeps the knowledge (of the alphabet, articulation, tajweed, etc.) in the front of a person's mind, building a skill that will undoubtedly brighten his or her heart and mind. It is a skill that opens up the Qur'an, and opens the heart to the Qur'an.

So I would suggest for new Muslims who haven't started learning any Arabic yet, to make it a priority. And for anyone involved in educational programs for new Muslims to incorporate some Arabic into those programs to help our communities build and strengthen their relationship with the Qur'an.

Should Women Attend Mosques?

2010-01-27T16:48:00.005-05:00

Yes. And I'll explain why.

Having lately moved to a new Muslim community, the subject of women in mosques has been giving me some thought. My recent post, A Mosque for Women Too, brought up a few of the issues on my mind, especially after reading another article discussing one facet of the problem, behavior and treatment of women in mosques, examining a cause and effect relationship. (I.e., the treatment resulting in the behavior.)

But lately it seems I have taken for granted the obvious reasons for women to be at the mosque in the first place. Or, in other words, it seems other people take for granted the need and benefit to involving women in mosques, and are oblivious to the damage resulting from their absence.

Allow me one disclaimer: I am not referring herein to societies in Muslim-majority countries, where a Muslimah is likely surrounded by other Muslims and Islamic resources. I'm more specifically discussing the situation occurring in Western non-Muslim countries, like the USA.

Inside our communities, there are basically four categories of women who I say should be attending mosques, either because they can directly benefit from attending, can provide benefit others, or might get lost in the unIslamic dunya. Moreover, the involvement that various women need might fulfill educational, social, financial, or emotional needs, but I think every woman has educational and social needs the mosque should meet.

Among the women, the categories I mentioned are as follows:

Non-Muslim women
Muslim women who practice a little or none at all
Practicing Muslim women with some knowledge and some weaknesses in practice
Muslim women who are strong in knowledge and practice

1. Non-Muslim Women

Firstly, I start with non-Muslim women, and make that a category, because it is not a rare occurrence for a non-Muslim woman to visit a mosque seeking information about Islam because she is considering embracing the faith of Islam. There are other reasons non-Muslims visit mosques, like school projects and to interview Muslimahs, but perhaps the most pivotal visits are for those women who are considering embracing Islam. Because she is considering becoming a Muslim, she'll want to ask questions and make observations, so is looking for both education and social interaction with Muslim women. These integral steps help her seek more information about Islam to determine whether she is being guided to convert.

Having spoken to many women in that position, and having been there myself, I know how critical this stage is. What if the woman finds no women at the mosque to help her? What if she is turned away, or even insulted by the men who are there? Do you think she is likely to ever return?

A couple weeks ago a woman visited a local mosque around the time for Friday prayers--she didn't know where to find any women, where to go, how to dress, whom she could speak to or what to say. She found brothers who were willing only to take her number to pass on to some sister who could follow-up later. A precious opportunity could have been lost! Alhamdulillah, this woman encountered another Muslimah while she was leaving, who invited her inside to listen to the khutbah and observe the prayers, and who continued the da'wah with her from that point on. Had that not been the case, the woman might have been turned off of Islam forever, and disinterested when she finally got a phone call or email. And the only reason this woman was able to meet that Muslimah in the first place is because women were allowed to come to the mosque, and had a place (though not ideal) to listen to the khutbah and pray.

The mosque is a should be a central pillar of the community, and a key location where someone considering Islam should feel safe to visit, either to observe, meet Muslims, or have their questions answered. If the prospective convert is a woman, she will need other women to talk to, and there should be classes and social events, not to mention regular services, which women can and do attend. These are the needs of a non-Muslim woman at the mosque.

2. Non-Observant Muslimahs

In addition to being open to non-Muslims, the mosque should be a welcoming place for Muslims who are not yet knowledgeable or observant in the practice of Islam. Suppose a young Muslim woman, who has been spending her weekends going to bars and partying, takes a step to improve her spiritual condition by and deciding to forego the club, and visit the mosque instead. In her mind she is doing a righteous thing--visiting the mosque--though she might not know the expectations regarding her dress and behavior while she is there. What would be said to a young Muslim woman walking into the front door of a mosque, dressed like she is going to a party? She might find someone yelling in her face, directing her to leave immediately.

Even though she came to the mosque looking for guidance, for help from the Muslims, she was rebuked, probably insulted, and essentially kicked out. She is looking for more knowledge about Islam to get on the right path, and to make friends with Muslimahs who can help her in practicing Islam, as her old friends were steering her astray. She had two primary needs, educational and social, for which she visited the mosque, assuming it to be the natural place to fulfill these needs. And if she is turned away, where will she go? More than likely, she'll be going back to the bar without any interest in returning to the mosque, and with less guilt about her behavior, thanks to how she was treated.

3. Observant Muslimahs

The third case pertains to women who might have once been in a previous category, but who now, maashaaAllaah, are learning about Islam and practicing what they learn. They already have some Muslim friends who they can socialize with, so do they still need to go to the mosque for social interaction? They already know the basics about Islam, so do they still need to go to the mosque for education? The answer in both cases is yes, and doing so will strengthen their connection to the mosque and to the Muslim community. They should be trying to constantly improve themselves in knowledge, and develop ongoing relationships with other Muslimahs in the community, offering support when needed.

The Qur'an is not silent on the importance of seeking knowledge:

Is one who is devoutly obedient during periods of the night, prostrating and standing [in prayer], fearing the Hereafter and hoping for the mercy of his Lord, [like one who does not]? Say, "Are those who know equal to those who do not know?" Only they will remember [who are] people of understanding. [39:9]

And among people and moving creatures and grazing livestock are various colors similarly. Only those fear Allah , from among His servants, who have knowledge. Indeed, Allah is Exalted in Might and Forgiving. [35:28]

In fact, if a person is struggling with weakness in iman, a common prescription is that they should increase their knowledge, and with knowledge comes taqwa. A person cannot simply arrive at a level of knowledge and assume that it is sufficient for the rest of their lives--rather, we should all spend our lives trying to improve ourselves. Women have even fewer opportunities to go study Islam full-time than men do, but the best option for them is ongoing education through classes and halaqaat with local 'ulama--and where else should these take place but in the House of Allah, the masjid? So the mosque should serve as a school and a source for the women to learn more about Islam even as their lives are busy with other responsibilities.

As for the social aspect, these women should still try to socialize with other Muslimahs on a regular basis, learning from those better than them, and helping those who are not. In particular, it is important for these women to form a connection with the mosque to cement their connection with Islam, and to protect them against diversions. While it is possible to socialize at places other than the mosque, meeting at the mosque strengthens the bonds of the community, establishing the mosque as a pillar of the community, uniting rather than dividing it.

4. Knowledgeable & Observant Muslimahs

The last category of women are those who have been blessed with knowledge and iman. Maybe classes at the mosque have little to offer them in the way of fresh knowledge--but at least they can be a reminder. But the greater reason women in this category need to attend the mosques is in the benefits they can offer to their sisters, as a good example. They can perhaps teach or just lead with their actions, and they can offer support to other Muslimahs. In this way, a community is not left with the blind leading the blind. With her knowledge, a woman becomes responsible for helping others (by teaching, volunteering, etc.), and doing so also benefits herself, by improving her own knowledge and as she does righteous actions which will benefit her in the Hereafter.

Children and the Mosques

After talking about the immediate reasons why women should attend mosques, it's important to mention children as well. I constantly hear Muslims wondering why their "youth" are not attached to the mosque--is it any wonder when they and their mothers, the people most directly responsible for raising them, are not welcome at the mosque in the first place?

If women are not attending mosques, then it stands to reason that children won't be attending either, at any age. That is, unless or until they begin going with their father. And in that case, if women are not welcome, it's likely that sons will benefit from the mosques but any daughters will be left behind with no incentive to attend. And if a girl doesn't attend as a child, why would she start attending as an adult?

On the other hand, if a child's mother does attend the mosque--for any reason--it offers him (or her, as I am talking about boys and girls here) an opportunity to socialize with other young Muslims, forging bonds with Muslims that will serve him as he ages. He also has the opportunity to observe how adult Muslims behave, to learn the etiquette of the mosque (more), to learn respect for the salah and the reading of Qur'an. And if children are coming to the mosque, it's likely their parents will try to have classes established for them to learn the Qur'an, Arabic, and Islamic studies with other children their age.

So with a mother attending the mosque, her children are already getting a foundation in Islam, and making a connection with the mosque that will support them throughout their lives. Because children grow up to be the men and women of our communities in years to come, we can't ignore them when they are young, unless we want them to ignore us in their maturity.

In this way, women's presence at mosques benefits not only themselves but the entire community, while their absence harms not just themselves but also the entire community. It is not sufficient, especially in Western non-Muslim societies, for women to seclude themselves from society in general, content to let others speak for them. That French people want to ban face veils, thinking that Muslim women are forced to wear them (rather than that they choose to do so) shows what can happen when Muslim women are silent and not active in their larger communities. And how can we as Muslims expect an entire nation to listen to a voice that is not heard, not even present in the mosques? If women are kept out of the mosques, kept from learning about Islam, then they are kept silent, and have no recourse against the oppression which will inevitably befall them.

Preacher's Wife

2010-01-20T20:50:00.005-05:00

Isn't it funny how our parents can make pretty good guesses about our future? My dad had figured out what kind of men my sisters and I would marry, or so he said. He had long thought that one of my sisters would marry a military man, and sure enough, she did. He thought he got my other sister right as well, but I'm not sure what kind of man he is. And for me, I got my dad to tell me, many years ago, what kind of man he thought I would marry. And he thought, for sure, that I would marry a man of the church, a preacher.

Funny how that works out, doesn't it? Obviously when I became a Muslim, marrying any kind of Christian was pretty much out of the question. And it's not like my husband is an imam. But I wonder why my dad figured I would marry a preacher? Because I had a passion for religion, maybe? Or just appreciated that quality in others?

It's not like I could be a preacher myself, because most (though not all) Christians don't have a place for women to be true leaders in the church, and certainly not to be preachers. So involvement in the church, specifically leadership, would probably have to be as a preacher's wife.

Now that I am married I can think back on this and really appreciate the respect for women in Islam, and how Islam has a history of women being scholars of the religion. And I can also think about what my dad's perception of me was then, and how (or whether) it has changed. Our parents know us better than anyone, so what was it my dad saw in me that led him to that conclusion? Because in the past few years I have tried to improve my knowledge about Islam, and I've even taken on some responsibilities in Muslim communities or organizations to help others, at least with respect to the religion. The religion is important to me, and it's important to my husband as well, a trait we share. So was my dad right or wrong?

A mosque for women too

2010-01-19T21:12:00.002-05:00

Alhamdulillah, I came across an article from altmuslimah.com today in my email, with a headline that immediately jumped out at me. Women Behaving Badly in Mosques. It made for a great read today, since I had recently considered writing a similar article myself.

Instead of just complaining about how women behave (which is an easy and unproductive reaction to the observation of such behavior), the article elaborates on the source of that problem, her own reflections parallel to my own.

Before now, there was really very little I could complain about with regard to women in mosques. When I lived in Raleigh, the accommodations for women were excellent, and women could easily integrate into the larger Muslim community, were active on committees and the board and their voices were heard by the administration. Similarly, they took care of some issues to benefit the women and the entire community, allowing resolution of most of the complaints people make about women in mosques.

But now I'm on the other side of the country with a different set of problems. The mosque I've been attending has consistently failed to live up to my expectations. Now, maybe I haven't given it a fair chance but it's hard to make myself go (I rarely, if ever, actually want to go) when I encounter dirty and smelly floors and never have the opportunity to see the speaker, imam, or khateeb. Overall the impression I get when I go is that it's a mosque for men that women are allowed to attend, although not encouraged to. There are some activities for women which I've attended but unfortunately found underwhelming. And I sadly found out just recently that of course there are no women on the mosque's board, and their voices are heard only through "the husbands."

The common response (among men) I've heard when making complaints about facilities for women is that there's not enough space. And as far as excuses go, this one is sickening enough to make me vomit. For men who don't see value in women participating in mosque activities, there will never be enough space. Space costs money, and why spend money on something that they don't need? If women don't need to attend the mosque (arguments being that it's better to pray at home and jumu'ah is not obligatory for them) then why spend money on facilities for them? That's the flow of logic I see when I hear this excuse, that there's not enough space. There would be enough space, I argue, if it were a priority, so clearly it is not a priority and that is the real problem, and not the space.

So because women aren't even welcome in the mosque, their facilities are usually sub-par. The article describes how women sometimes don't know how to behave in the mosque (due to not being welcome in their home countries, often), and often make some mistakes which causes men to further dislike their presence at the mosque in the first place. The author explains also the conflation of the cause and effect in the matter of women being ostracized in their mosques.

Right now I'm trying to come to terms with the situation here, and trying to find a way to improve it, though I lose hope every step of the way. If men don't want women there, and don't care what women want so they (the men) insist on running the show, how are women ever going to get fair opportunities at the mosque? This issue, more than any other, is what bothers me most about my new home.

Prayers for Travel

2010-01-13T21:13:00.001-05:00

There's nothing like going on a 2-week road trip to help you learn the du'a of the traveler. My husband and I tried to make it a habit so every day, several times a day, we would repeat this du'a. Unfortunately, we really only would say the short version, which is printed on this little card. A gift from Qabeelat Nurayn, I've kept this card in my car as a reminder, and to help me learn the du'a.

The full version begins with three takbirs ("Allahu Akbar") and then continues as below. The bold bold portion is the only section on the card:

How perfect He is, The One Who has place this (transport) at our service, and we ourselves would not have been capable of that, and to our Lord is our final destiny. O Allaah, we ask You for birr and taqwaa in this journey of ours, and we ask You for deeds which please You. O Allaah, facilitate our journey and let us cover its distance quickly. O Allaah, You are The Companion on the journey and The Successor over the family, O Allaah, I take refuge with You from the difficulties of travel, from having a change of hearts and being in a bad predicament, and I take refuge in You from an ill fated outcome with wealth and family.

So you see, the real du'a in the prayer is the part that comes after what we would read, which is praise and a reminder. The full portion we only read on occasion, when I'd dig out my du'a book. I think it's important to know this du'a and the meaning (translation) of it, to remind us especially while traveling that our welfare is not in our own hands. Firstly, our means of transport has been provided by Allah, whether we are driving, flying, etc. And we should try, regardless of where we're traveling, to continue to do good deeds, and try to maintain a life of righteousness (birr) and God-consciousness (taqwaa.) And it's good to remember that Allah can take care of us while we are traveling and our families left at home.

When arriving back home, we are supposed to read the above du'a followed by an additional line:

We return, repent, worship and praise our Lord.

Why? Repent for any sins committed along the way, maybe, and just as a general rule we should be asking forgiveness. And Allah has made us return so we should praise Him.

There's also a du'a, while traveling, to make upon entering a new town or village. Honestly we didn't make this du'a very much; the only time I can remember making it was in Sedona, AZ, where we planned to stay for a few days. But looking back, I think we should have made this a regular nightly practice, as we pulled in to our hotels. Maybe we should have even said it wherever we stopped for meals, prayers, or shopping.

O Allaah, Lord of the seven heavens and all that they envelop, Lord of the seven earths and all that they carry, Lord of the devils and all whom they misguide, Lord of the winds and all whom they whisk away. I ask You for the goodness of this village, the goodness of its inhabitants and for all the goodness found within it and I take refuge with You from the evil of this village, the evil of it’s inhabitants and from all the evil found within it.

It would have been good to recite this at our stops because we would have know way of knowing what in a town was good or evil, or which of the inhabitants would guide us in one direction or the other. A lot of times we didn't know what was a good or safe part of town, or what kind of trouble we might run in to.

There's another kind of du'a to make for the locals, which I wish I'd been more diligent about making. Honestly, we had a lot of help from locals along our trip: where to find a starbucks, a good breakfast, or a decent hotel, for instance. Also, which places had the best meals, where to buy particular souvenirs, reports on weather and road conditions. Was it too much to ask that we make du'a for them in return? I think not, and so that is one regret from my trip.

Here is the du'a of the traveler for the resident:

I place you in the trust of Allaah, whose trust is never misplaced.

There's also some supplications a resident should make for a traveler, which I hope to remember should I come across anyone traveling:

(1) I place your religion, your faithfulness and the ends of your deeds in the trust of Allaah.

(2) May Allaah endow you with taqwaa, forgive your sins and facilitate all good for you, wherever you be.

Traveling across the country, we drove through a couple mountain ranges, and I wish I had known about this narration:

Jaabir said: While ascending, we would say:
(i)‘Allaah is the greatest.’
…and when descending, we would say:
(ii)‘How perfect Allaah is.’

Driving through Shasta-Trinity and Six Rivers National Forests, this might have been especially nice--we would have been making dhikr all afternoon! And then come evening, there is a du'a to make while stopping for lodging.

I take refuge in Allaah’s perfect words from the evil that He has created.

This du'a kind of reminds me of the importance of Qur'an and reading it, and again a reminder that we don't know where evil might be lurking on a journey. There's also a prayer for the traveler as dawn approaches--I'm guessing a good time to make this du'a would be right after praying fajr.

May a witness, be witness to our praise of Allaah for His favours and bounties upon us. Our Lord, protect us, show favour on us and deliver us from every evil. I take refuge in Allaah from the fire.

Since it's most likely the traveler would be leaving his loding and accommodations in the morning, this du'a is nice to ask for protection as the beginning of the day. Any given morning we weren't sure exactly who or what we might encounter during the day. And the du'a ends with asking for protection from the worst affliction, the fire of the Hereafter.

These supplication translations are taken from Hisnul Muslim, or in English, Fortification of the Muslim, available online at makedua.com. The supplications about travel are numbers 89-99, although I didn't print them all here, and some I placed in a different order. All of these supplications should be listed there with English translations, and the Arabic forms as well.

I really hope that next time I travel anywhere I remember to make these prayers. Since I have a copy of the du'a book, I'm not really sure what my excuse is for not making them. And if I'm not making du'a, then the only one really losing is me.

Shahadah Reminders

2010-01-09T00:51:00.003-05:00

Last week my husband alerted me to a halaqa for sisters at our local masjid (i.e., the one across the street.) I've since been recommended to this particular halaqa by a few other sisters in the area, so I'm getting the impression it's supposed to be pretty good. I've been twice now--last Friday and this one--and don't think I've really gotten the chance to see what others see.

The first week, the instructor wasn't there as she'd recently been visiting with family overseas. This week's halaqa involved a little bit of catching up, and then it was planned to be short due to some activity at the Redmond Masjid--I can't seem to figure out what it was though. But it was further cut short (and mind you, I'm not complaining about this) by a new sister wanting to take shahadah. That actually took 15-20 minutes--even though the sister had studied Islam plenty before choosing to make this decision, I guess it is the protocol here to run through a crash course in aqeedah for anyone who wants to take shahadah, so the remainder of the halaqa was spent reviewing the articles of faith and pillars of Islam.

In Raleigh, we would basically quickly articulate the primary tenets of faith and practice if the convert was new to the masjid, but not nearly so extensively as I heard tonight. So I begin to wonder how other masajid react when someone wishes to say shahadah?

But more than the aqeedah crash course, a new shahadah is always a reminder of guidance in our lives, a reminder that Allah guides whom He chooses. Maybe if we busy ourselves with da'wah we start to think we have a hand in people finding Islam, but so often people just show up at the masjid, ready to take shahadah (this happens a LOT in Ramadan.) The guidance truly is from Allah, and He leads people to Islam. While we should definitely try to be as active in da'wah as we can (as it's from the Sunnah and has the promise of a beautiful reward), it's plain that we only inite, and we cannot guide.

Watching someone say their shahadah also brings to mind the overwhelming feeling of truly embracing Islam. From a hadith qudsi we know that Allah comes closer to us as we come closer to Him, and it's been my experience that certain acts of worship, performed with sincerity, nourish the soul beyond the imagination. For me, saying shahadah was the first such experience I had being overcome with faith in this way, and I've seen that experience reflected on the face (and in the tears) of many others when they also embrace Islam. Do you wonder why so often converts cry at their shahadah?

At the very least, their sins have been forgiven. Even if they don't know it, all their bad deeds are now written as good, and the effect of that beautiful purification--as we are being purified of our sins by Allah--is not merely academic. It can be felt in the heart, and so it's extremely emotional.

Tonight, getting to see that, just reminded me of what I should be striving for.

Blogging Troubles

2010-01-07T03:07:00.004-05:00

See, now you all realize why I've wanted to overhaul my blog--random things start to malfunction. For instance, the banner. You might have noticed, if you had visited in the last few days, that the banner image disappeared. So I replaced it with a picture from my honeymoon, but as I don't have any image editing software (other than paint) there's not much else I can do.

I'd like to post more, but now I'm getting embarrassed to put anything up with the way my blog is looking. So inshaaAllaah I'm going to go all in and get a very nice blog with my own domain and everything. So keep your eyes peeled for that inshaaAllah.

In the meantime I'm just trying to find my way around Bellevue.

ETA: Now I have picasa, but it didn't really do me much good. At least now there's a title up there with the image.

Spicy Spaghetti

2009-12-30T01:00:00.002-05:00

Now that I'm starting to feel a little more comfortable in my new Bellevue apartment with my husband, I'm trying to cook occasionally. My husband is actually quite a good cook and took it upon himself to prepare meals for our first few weeks together. I appreciated it, since upon arriving in Bellevue I was frustrated and disinterested and not really up to household duties.

But now I'm starting to share the workload. I just realized that I need to get a head start on dinner if I want to have a hope of cooking anything before he gets to working in the kitchen when he gets home. So tonight when he told me he'd be home around 8:30pm I was prepared. Since he had plenty of spaghetti noodles and a few jars of tomato sauce, whipping up dinner was relatively easy. But since I didn't have any meat to put in the sauce (hadn't had any picked up from the halal meat shop yet) I wanted to make it a little more interesting than just tomatoes (though I did add some extra tomatoes.) So I decided to add some oregano (I normally do), and some garlic powder (why not?) and some crushed red pepper (hey, husband likes spices!) and even some ground red pepper as well.

I let it simmer on the stove while I went to the masjid to pray. One nice thing about this apartment is its proximity to the masjid--a 5-10 minute walk. So I prepared myself and made wudu, and left the house about 6:50. But as I approached the masjid, I realized that the salah was not at 7pm, like I had mistakenly thought, but actually at 7:30.

Now, I haven't been able to find a table of iqamah times listed for this masjid, which is why I keep getting confused. I think it's something like fajr at 6:45am, dhuhr at 12:30, asr at 3pm, maghrib at 4:30, and isha at 7:30. But for some reason I just can't keep it straight. So I arrived at the masjid, prayed isha by myself and then left. While I didn't mind leaving the stove on for 30 minutes or so, leaving it on for an hour made me nervous. I do like being able to walk to the masjid, though. And since it hasn't been raining lately, it's been especially easy. Last Friday I walked to jumu'ah, happy to not have to worry about parking in an already cramped masjid parking lot. This way, someone else could utilize the space. Plus it's more environmentally friendly (they're all about that up here!) and healthier for me as well, since I get a bit of exercise.

Around 8pm I started boiling water for the pasta, and tossed it in after about 10 minutes. Unfortunately my husband was a little late (and I was very hungry) so I started without him but once he got home he was quick to eat everything left. And what made me most happy of all was that he really loved the spaghetti. First I had him put a lot more sauce on it than he was used to. So even though he had cooked spaghetti himself before, he assured me he liked mine better--though not because of the spices, just because it wasn't "dry."

A few days ago some sisters told me that it was satisfying to cook for one's husband but I was skeptical. I'm far from becoming some kind of foodie or gourmet chef but it's nice to have my own home, and someone who likes my cooking.

Welcome to Washington

2009-12-28T03:22:00.004-05:00

On Tuesday, December 15th, 2009, I entered Washington state for the first time. And I've been here since then. It was actually very late, and dark, so I couldn't see much other than the road. Since my husband had been driving for most of that day along a very rainy Oregon coast and was too tired to keep going, but yet insisted on making it the rest of the way, I drove from the southern areas of the state along I-5 northwards until we got to Bellevue.

The only thing I could really notice about the state, which I'd noticed in Oregon as well (and maybe even in northern California) was the roads. First, the use of these round bumps in place of white paint to mark lane divisions. Easier to see in the rain and dark, even with glare from streetlights, and also a way to make you feel if you've crossed into another lane accidentally. And second, that Washington highway shields are a very funny shape. At first I thought it was a bush--and from far away it kind of looks that way--until I realized it was actually a silhouette of President Washington's profile! See how the little things amuse me! Of all the states we traveled through, this was definitely the most interesting. Most states will use circles, diamonds, squares, or even the shape of the state. But I've got to say that Washington takes the cake on this.

The first thing we did in on Wednesday after breakfast was to go pick out furniture for our new apartment. My husband had heard good reviews about Mor Furniture in Kent so that's where we went, and were pleased enough with the selection to buy a dining room table with chairs, a sofa and ottomans, and some mattresses. These items were delivered the same day. We also bought a recliner, however, but that item was back-ordered and hasn't yet come in.

Our next step was to purchase some essentials for the apartment--silverware, and cookware, for instance, but also bed linens and towels. But after a lot of time shopping at Target and Bed, Bath & Beyond, we were mostly set for the first day. I had to make many subsequent trips to both stores, plus a stop at a Wal-mart and a Pier 1 Imports, before becoming mostly satisfied with the apartment. I have some more things being shipped from home which should arrive next week, and today we finally ordered the tableware that I really wanted, so it should soon be on its way.

Since arriving we've been able to dine with a few different families in the area, and it's been nice to meet some other sisters. So far everyone I've met has a connection with Microsoft--usually that their husbands work there, and that's how we are connected. Microsoft seems to import its employees from all over the world, allowing for a tremendous amount of diversity in this area.

The last few days have also had unseasonably (I'm told) excellent weather, with plenty of sunshine (during the mere 8 hours that the sun is actually above the horizon), despite being more on the chilly side. One plus side to a short day, on the other hand, is that it's very easy to fast. This Sunday was Ashura--the 10th day of the first month of the Islamic calendar, a day Muslims are recommended to fast in order to remember Moses, and the liberation of the Jews from Egyptian slavery. It's recommended for Muslims to fast two days, either Ashura and the previous or following day. And with a fast lasting from 6am (the start time of fajr) until 4:30pm (maghrib), it's hard to complain. Although the summer is surely going to be a completely different story.

Although there are many things I miss about Raleigh (I'm sure to elaborate on these in subsequent posts) there are some things about Bellevue which just can't be beat, like the view of the mountains on a clear day, or a Starbucks in every nook and cranny. And it's time now to make it my home.

The Journey North

2009-12-23T18:26:00.005-05:00

Once we hit Bakersfield, CA, we were pretty much just heading north. Because of snow, we weren't planning to make any stops in Eastern California, so we just drove north. From Sacramento, we went north to Redding, CA, but from there we went further west again because I wanted to see the coast. There's a scenic route up the CA, OR, and WA coastlines, highway 101. But the job on Sunday was to get to the coast. Traveling up I-5 to Redding wasn't a problem at all, but going westward meant driving through Shasta-Trinity National Forest. In the middle of the day, with clear skies and beautiful weather, it didn't seem that doing so would be a problem. But this "scenic drive" is not for the faint-hearted.

It twists, and it winds. And it is absolutely gorgeous--smoky mountains, giant fir trees, gentle rivers. (I take it those rivers aren't always gentle, given the number of rafting houses we passed.) There are tons of RV parks but not really any towns on your route once you pass Weaverville. It was really a beautiful drive--but not for the driver. And I'd recommend anyone who gets carsick to avoid it. But those obstacles aside, it is pretty beautiful.

Unfortunately, in Weaverville some locals told me that they were expecting snow that night, so husband and I wanted to get through as soon as we could. And we were out by the time it was dark--although every time we passed a snow plow we got kind of nervous. It wasn't a road to travel in snow. We stopped to pray in the forest, by a river. That was nice--another interesting place serving as a masjid. And by the time we were out of the forest we were almost at the coast. We decided to go north and stopped in a place called Trinidad, CA, for dinner.

We dinner ate at a local seafood house that was very nice, but our waitress suggested not staying the night in Trinidad and instead driving south to Arcata, which we did. In Arcata, we ate breakfast at a place called Toni's (finding an IHOP or the like in this area is pretty much out of the question, so we asked at the hotel for a breakfast place.) And honestly, the food was delicious. And the pancakes were huge. Seriously, huge. Being in the MM FitLife, our second habit to master is avoiding processed foods. I'd say pancakes are processed, so I wanted to have pancakes at my last opportunity. And it was worth it: they were really good.

Monday we drove north up the coast, and it rained. My husband especially loves the Pacific Ocean--and it is nice, but compared to what all we had seen I was slightly underwhelmed. Rainy and overcast conditions didn't make it easy to see much either. Along our route was Redwood National Park, so we stopped there. We even got out of the car this time and took a few side trails. The trees, in case you haven't been there, are huge. Some of the fallen trees you can take a picture beside, and as they're laying on the ground, they're still taller than you. It was pretty neat.

On the north side of the park was a little museum and shop (Trees of Mystery), with huge statues of Paul Bunyan and Babe (the blue ox.) We looked around, and the museum was particularly interesting. It was called the "End of the Trail Museum," and had a variety of different Native American displays and information.

This symbol is used to mean "End of the Trail." I learned that from a Navajo lady back at the Grand Canyon. She told me they use it for their children, their youth who end up leaving their culture behind, and so for them they are at the end of the trail.

It's sad to see what has happened to so many cultures, so I'm glad we stopped at this museum--it was interesting.

From there we went further north and made it into Oregon. We stopped at a vistor's center to pray shortly before they closed, and planned to drive a little further north Monday, and then head on to Portland the next day. So we stopped in a place called North Bend--actually we had a hard time finding anywhere to eat. It seemed to be a coastal town that was pretty much shut down in the off-season. For breakfast though we stopped at a place called the Pancake Mill, and had a really good breakfast (albeit, no pancakes, sadly.)

Tuesday took us the rest of the way up the Oregon coast--rainy, mostly, with a few scenic views, and some small towns along 101--and we went in to Portland for dinner. My husband wanted to eat at an Afghani place called Kabobi. So we stopped and ate, and then decided to keep going!

So that night, Tuesday night, we drove all the way to Bellevue. I drove most of the stretch between Oregon and Seattle so my husband could sleep--driving in rain really takes a lot out of you and he was exhausted. We then spent the night in a local hotel so we could get started with the apartment shopping on Wednesday.

So now I should be caught up, at least to the end of the honeymoon. So now I'm only one week or so behind. We actually do have pictures of all these things but haven't uploaded them yet, sorry.

Death Valley Rain

2009-12-23T17:47:00.003-05:00

After visiting the Grand Canyon, we had one more night in Sedona, AZ before heading further north and west. We intended to leave Thursday morning and visit Hoover Dam along our way to Las Vegas, NV. We ended up leaving later than we'd have liked, however, in part due to my insistence on stopping at one more pottery house (Kacina House) before leaving town. I guess it was worth it, I bought a few more things there. We also stopped for sandwiches that we'd take as our lunch from a shop called Sedona Memories. Those sandwiches, however, won't be our best memories of Sedona. They were just too huge. We each had a few bites of ours and ended up throwing most of it away just because we couldn't eat it--and it wasn't all that good to begin with.

But with all our (my) delaying, it was getting dark by the time we reached Hoover Dam so we didn't really see much. But the drive towards it from the Arizona side is just beautiful. On the other hand, traffic there isn't any fun--though it should improve by the time the new bridge opens up. We drove over the dam and onwards towards Las Vegas, which wasn't far.

Friday for jumu'ah we went to the Omar Haikal Academy, which had been recommended to me by someone who used to live there. Afterwards we went back to Hoover Dam to see it properly, and were there nearly until dusk. From there we went back towards Vegas and continued on towards a small town called Pahrump, NV.

The plan for Saturday was to visit Death Valley National Park, but we wanted to stay somewhere closer to the park than Las Vegas, and we actually had a hard time finding a hotel. But we stayed at a fairly decent place in Pahrump, and for the first time on our trip took part in the complimentary breakfast. (No pork served this time.)

On Saturday we drove up to Death Valley, and through it. One of the first places I was able to take off that new winter coat I'd bought. It was chilly in Death Valley (after all, it was December) but not like the other places we'd been. While I definitely preferred the Grand Canyon, Death Valley was certainly an interesting place to see. The mountains jut out of the landscape at crazy angles--you can see the lines of the different types of rocks, but it's all turned to an angle. And the colors were just shocking. And then there were sand dunes right in the middle--just weird, and alienesque. The colors and scale of the Grand Canyon, just the sheer immensity of it, keeps it at the top of my list.

On our way out of Death Valley we encountered some heavy fog, and even rain. But then we had a decision to make--after Death Valley, where to go? We had originally planned to travel north, towards Bishop, CA, but they were getting pretty heavy snow, so we took a turn south, went around towards Bakersfield, and then up north towards Sacramento. We actually stopped for dinner in Fresno, CA, but wanted to get as far north as we could, so made it 3 more hours to Sacramento, where we stopped for the night.

I've got to say, I saw some parts of California that day that I had never imagined could exist--the weirdest looking cultivated hills, for example, and driving for miles and miles in rainy deserts. It was strange. But thereafter everything was pretty much as expected. So Saturday night we stayed in Sacramento, CA, and Sunday went north from there. More to come...

The Grand Canyon Musalleen?

2009-12-23T17:15:00.006-05:00

Sorry for not writing in so long--it took us almost a week to get north and after leaving Sedona we had some pretty long days and by nighttime I was too tired to write much. So let me begin now where I left off.

We did have to buy new coats, and that was a really good decision--we would have frozen at the grand canyon with what we had. It had been really cold when we visited Petrified Forest National Park, and that was difficult with the coats we had. But we didn't suffer too much when actually visiting the Grand Canyon since we were bundled up pretty good.

As we traveled further north on Wednesday morning, and into higher elevations, we encountered more and more snow. First it was pretty, when the roads weren't too bad. We were driving through Coconino National Forest, which looked really pretty with the fresh snow. Closer to the canyon, roads weren't in such good condition. We had checked with the visitor's center in Sedona before leaving town and were told that all roads were open except for 180, which we could easily avoid. And alhamdulillah we didn't have any road problems on the way.

We did stop at Sunset Crater but found the roads along the route to visit there to be very bad (they hadn't been cleared at all, so the only clear sections were where the sun had melted the roadways.) It would've been nearly impossible to go see the crater anyway, so we went back to 89, the road we were taking northward to the canyon.

Around the Little Colorado River Gorge, there were a few Native American ladies who had set up their stands to sell jewelery and pottery. The piece on the right (the black one, glazed outside and inside) is one that we purchased, for about $50. The lady we bought it from also explained the meanings of all the different symbols on the pottery. My tip for anyone traveling to the grand canyon area and wanting to by some native-made (or "indian") pottery, is to buy it from stands like this one, off the side of the road.

We got a much better price from her (and from everyone there) than at any other shops we visited. We also bought a bracelet at a nearby stand. We did buy a few more pieces of pottery, but I'm really glad we stopped there and bought that particular piece. You can find basically the same kinds of stuff in tourist shops, trading posts, and these road-side stands, and you can still get the cards explaining the etchings, or how the pot was made, but I really think I had the best experience at the road-side stand. (And conveniently, the best price.)

Inside Grand Canyon National Park, the roads between those two extremes. Sections of the road which were in shade were still covered in snow, so it was at times a scary drive. When we arrived, we found about 2 feet of snow on the ground. While much of the parking areas at the scenic viewpoints had been cleared, the walkways hadn't. So if you wanted to get close enough to take pictures, you had to brave the snow. I tried that once, while my husband waited in the car, and after crossing the pile of cleared snow from the parking lot, I fell face first into that 2+ feet of snow on the sidewalk, camera and everything.

Fortunately it dried/evaporated pretty quickly, and I didn't get soaked or have to deal with freezing cold water melting on me. We stayed at that viewpoint for a while, as I tried to take pictures and then we prayed there as well. The Grand Canyon is probably the nicest of places where we prayed--on a road trip like this one, many different places can become a masjid. We took tons of pictures of the snowy Grand Canyon, but from the distance it looks like only a dusting of snow--seriously, there were feet of snow at the highest elevations.

Walking around at Desert View, it was especially nice to have the new coats, as the wind was intense. Seriously, every woman walking around there was a hijabi--the cold was nearly intolerable without wrapping up your head as well. But the view truly was beautiful. It's still my favorite place that we visited.

Laundry Day and Airport Views

2009-12-08T23:25:00.007-05:00

Yesterday husband and I had to do laundry together. After spending nearly a week on the road (and neither of us willing to carry more than a week's worth of clothes) it was time to get our clothes washed. And with nothing but rain and fog to see in the area (and roads too risky to try driving out of town), other than snuggling and watching Star Wars, laundry was pretty high on our priority list.

I actually thought it was cute. I'd never used a laundromat before, but it was kinda fun because it was something we did together.

Today we started with another gourmet breakfast--savory today, as yesterday's was sweet. There was snow on the ground but then the sun came out and most of it melted pretty quickly. That is, at this elevation. We were able to get some pictures of the red rocks with snow on some and not on others. Sedona is truly beautiful--even more so when it's not raining! Mostly we just stayed in town. We did a little bit of shopping and some sight-seeing (there a lots of scenic vistas here.) There is a church here that's built into a mountain which was neat to visit. Also, at the airport, which is on a mesa, we were able to look down on the entire town (photo above) and see many of the red rock formations from there very clearly.

Since Flagstaff supposedly had 26 inches of snow last night, and higher elevations will likely stay below freezing temperatures tomorrow, we bought new winter coats for our trip to the Grand Canyon tomorrow, inshaAllaah. If we can get there inshaaAllaah--roads clear and all--then we're sure to see a spectacular view.

The Plains Meet the Mountains

2009-12-08T11:54:00.009-05:00

Driving I-40 through Oklahoma and Texas is not very exciting. There's a lot of sky, a lot of wind, an occasional windmill and lots of flat land that's really just not very interesting most of the time. The further we traveled west the less vegetation we would see, the less cultivation, the less animals (mostly we just saw cows and horses anyway) and the less people. It was interesting to see how vast this part of the country is--the part I've only seen in Westerns and cowboy movies. The sunsets in the plains were lovely--a colorful sky in every direction.

New Mexico was nicer--a more interesting landscape--but just as bitterly cold as Texas, unfortunately. Especially on the Eastern side were people very friendly and helpful. By the time we got to Arizona the landscape of New Mexico seemed boring in comparison. Arizona has been nothing short of amazing. We visited the world's largest tepee (which definitely had the best gift shop at the AZ-NM border) and Petrified Forest National Park. I'm actually so unhappy with our pictures from there because they don't even begin to capture the stunning beauty of the Painted Desert (the northern part of the park.) I'm really glad we were able to drive through the park (about 28 miles, and our 2nd national park on this trip so far.)

A national park annual pass costs $80--but now we have access to all the nation's national parks for a year. Great Smoky Mountains National Park actually didn't charge, but now we've also been to Petrified Forest, and plan to visit the Grand Canyon and Death Valley. With regular admission at $20/car, it will be worth the cost if we can make it to any other parks this year, and that we certainly intend inshaaAllaah.

In general I'm loving the desert. Despite the cold, biting winds (Petrified Forest was so cold we barely left the car--one reason perhaps the pictures aren't all they could be) the views are amazing, all the way around.

As the sun set we drove onwards towards Sedona, AZ, taking a tiny little winding road (Hwy 89A) down from an elevation of about 7000 ft. to 4500 ft. Unfortunately it was dark, but I'm sure the view of Oak Creek Canyon would have been amazing. I'm hoping we can take that road back out of town during the daylight to see it.

We arrived in Sedona in the freezing cold to a wonderfully charming room at the Sedona Views Bed & Breakfast. We're staying here until Thursday inshaaAllaah, and it's really wonderful. Two nights so far in a lovely room, followed by two delicious gourmet breakfasts. The host even prepared turkey bacon and turkey sausage since I informed him beforehand that we don't eat pork.

The first day here in Sedona it rained pretty much all day. And with that kind of weather we didn't want to risk taking the Hwy 89A up the hill (it's very twisty, but one of the most scenic roads in America we're told.) So we stayed in town, but after all the driving we've been doing, it was nice to just chill for a while. We stayed in, watched some Star Wars (husband's first time seeing it--we brought all six with us) and ate at a few local places. We also did some laundry in the afternoon since we'd been traveling for almost a week, and it was just time. But all in all, a nice way to spend a rainy day. Last night we got a little bit of dusting snow and ice, that's pretty much all melted now. But apparently Flagstaff got about 26 inches of snow, so no plans to drive that way today. For the moment, we're hoping that the roads will all be open tomorrow so we can drive up to the Grand Canyon.

Today we'll stay in town, check out some local sites and do a little shopping. Oh yeah, and buy some warmer clothes because it is frigid!

Rockets!

2009-12-05T10:23:00.005-05:00

I think I had way more fun than any adult should be allowed to at the space and rocket center. I even bought myself a "rocket scientist" T-shirt. I was squealing and grinning the whole time, thoroughly amusing my husband.

The shuttle (which is actually not my favorite part of NASA) was over in the Space Camp area so we couldn't get in. I snapped this shot from the parking lot--this mock-up is called Pathfinder.

It was just so much fun, despite the gray cloudy skies and low temperatures. But it's only gotten colder the further we've come West. After Alabama (and hey, we actually went through Georgia for about 10 minutes before getting into 'Bama and we picked up a magnet there) we went through Mississippi briefly, and I've got to say, there wasn't much to see along the way. Could've been the clouds, but I'm not sure.

But then we made it back into Tennessee to pick up I-40 in Memphis, where we stopped for dinner. It was dark when we actually crossed the Mississippi, so no pictures, but we did pick up a few nice postcards to see and remember what it might have looked like. I love this picture that Umer took at the restaurant in Memphis, experimenting with the "close-up" feature on the camera. Meanwhile, I was showing him where we are on the map--we were planning a long drive, even after dinner.

We stayed overnight in North Little Rock, Arkansas, and on Friday we drove the rest of the way across Arkansas. We stopped in Fort Smith for Jumu'ah, as Friday is the day of Jumu'ah (i.e., the day of congregational prayers.) While it's not obligatory on the traveler to pray Jumu'ah, we thought that since we could, it would be a nice thing to do. And it was. We found this mosque on islamicfinder.org in a town along our route (I-40.) Fort Smith

There were only about 20 brothers, my husband says, and only 4 sisters, but it was nice. They did not have an imam so a brother from the community was giving the khutbah. MaashaaAllaah. We give this masjid a 10/10. It was small but it definitely had suitable accommodations. While the women were praying in a separate room (which is never my preference) there was a great sound system and a high quality television set so the sisters could see the khateeb as well. Plus there were chairs and pillows available for sitting on the floor, and a clean spacious bathroom for wudhu. When making announcements they mentioned their attempts to find an imam and also to expand the masjid (as for Eid and Taraweeh prayers it was becoming too full.) May Allah help them and increase them and bless their community.

After jumu'ah we asked about a halal restaurant in town, and there was one, called the Silk Road Grill. My husband, watching me write this, says he just felt a need to drink water, just remembering this place! This is the first desi-style restaurant I've eaten at outside of the Raleigh area, and really I felt spoiled by Olive Green.

This chicken tikka masala that my husband ordered was so spicy (the highest spice level on their menu) that even though it was four stars on the menu, he says it's like 20 stars. I asked if it was too spicy for him, and he responded that it's too spicy for humans. And I tried it. So... I agree with him on that. But the dish I ordered, chicken qorma, was pretty yummy. Oh, we also had some hummus there and tandoori bread--which I'm told was very close to the taste it has in Afghanistan or Pakistan.

After lunch, we went on towards Oklahoma. The scenery there wasn't very exciting, but the sunset alone made everything look just stunning. We had dinner in Oklahoma City (a shockingly Christian town, I think--as there were crosses on the downtown highrises) and kept going a little further to Clinton, OK, where we spent the night at a Days Inn. So far it's the cheapest of the hotels we've stayed at, has the nicest TV and a microwave!

Tomorrow or the next day we'll need to do laundry, either at a hotel or laundromat. But by tomorrow night we should be in Sedona inshaaAllaah! Yay!

Smokies and Rockets

2009-12-04T02:21:00.005-05:00

It rained most of the day on Wednesday--all through the mountains. We tried to drive some on the Blue Ridge Parkway--twice--only to find it closed down, and that we had to turn around and go back. So we had to take a different route. Getting to Cherokee, NC, was nice. It was a quaint little town, I wish I'd taken more pictures there.

We stopped at the visitor's center for the Great Smoky Mountains National Park, and then drove through it after buying a few souvenirs. It was beautiful, despite the rain. But we couldn't see much of the mountains, just lots of waterfalls. Coming out of the hills we went through Pigeon Forge, TN and stopped for lunch there.

Then we went on towards Knoxville then south to Chattanooga, by which time it was pretty dark. We actually made it all the way to Huntsville Wednesday night, so we were all set to visit the Space and Rocket Center this morning. That was super-fun. I practically squealed the first time I saw the rockets and who knows how many pictures of rockets I took while we were there. (Especially the super-huge Saturn V mock-ups!) We haven't uploaded those pictures from the camera yet, though.

Right now we just pulled into Little Rock, AR, and are about to fall asleep. We were planning to try to cross the entire state of Arkansas tonight and end up in Fort Smith but an hour before Little Rock sleep was knocking hard. This is our hotel (not our photo, however) and it's quite nice with a lovely staircase. As it's only two floors, there's no elevator! I think that's so cute!

But not cute enough to keep me awake for another minute. Goodnight!

Rainy Mountain Morning

2009-12-02T09:18:00.002-05:00

I have to admit: I cried. When saying goodbye to my parents the tears started to come--helped in part by my dad's emotional speech and my mom's sad face.

But after sharing a late lunch with them and after our heartfelt goodbyes, my hubby and I set out on the first day of our honeymoon. We made it as far as Asheville where we spent the night.

As expected, thanks to the Weather Channel app on my iphone, this morning greeted us with cold rain. We just finished eating breakfast at the IHOP and now are ready to get on the Blue Ridge Parkway!

Fwd: Suitcase

2009-11-30T10:54:00.001-05:00

How to pack for a 16 day trip to move all my belongings across the country? I'm trying go as light as is reasonable, planning to wash every 5-6 days.

I'm all about the Ziploc baggies, too, to keep certain items together--like laundry detergent, and scarves (though they took 3 bags total.)

This way it will be easy to find everything despite having to unpack somewhere nee each night.

My problem now is that all my clothes are packed either in my suitcase or in bags to be shipped once we arrive in Seattle. So what to wear? Another problem is what to do with my shoes... pack in an additional carry-on size bag those I frequently wear so I have them during the trip? Or "rough it" with just 2-3 pairs?

This is my first post by email. I'd like to see whether I can blog from the road or will need to post from my laptop at the hotel.

Any last-minute tips/advice are welcome!

Thirty-Two Hours and Counting...

2009-11-30T02:35:00.005-05:00

With my wedding already three weeks past, then Thanksgiving, Eid, and my brother's wedding also past, my heart has only one focus: my husband.

And he'll be here, in less than thirty-two hours inshaaAllaah. And then I'll have to say good-bye to my family and friends here in Raleigh. So in one sense it is bittersweet, but I fully intend to visit often and so the prospect of moving in with my husband, moving all the way across the country to Seattle with him, is more sweet than bitter.

Tonight I had one last little party with my friends before I'll be leaving inshaaAllaah, and it was so good to see everyone. After my brother's wedding (it was Saturday) I was able to say good-bye to him and to my new sister-in-law (the photo is her by the way, after she changed shoes...) and also to my sister and brother-in-law who will be leaving for the same cruise as the newlyweds. My other sister still doesn't speak to me but I gave a warm good-bye to my nieces and nephews.

InshaaAllaah, husband and I will be meeting with my parents for lunch on Tuesday before we head out, which makes everyone happy alhamdulillah. I was worried that we would need to leave right away (leaving on Tuesday already puts us slightly behind my previously planned schedule) but my dad gets off work at 2pm, and was really bummed he wouldn't be able to see us off. He loves my husband (alhamdulillah for that!) and my husband is looking forward to seeing my parents as well. So it's good all around.

But in the next day or so, I have pages of tasks crowding my to-do list, high-priority items that must be done before I leave. (So naturally I am blogging to further procrastinate.)

Please stay tuned to the blog, inshaaAllaah I'll be posting pictures and updates along the way. And who knows? Some pictures of me might actually end up on here too. :-)

Cluttered Thoughts

2009-11-26T01:54:00.003-05:00

On any given day, I'd say at least one, if not two distinct ideas for a blog post pop into my head, but most of the time I don't get around to actually writing the posts--or even writing down my ideas! What a shame!

I tend to blog about what I spend my time thinking about. And lately, I've been thinking about my move across the country. What will my life be like there? Should I start a new blog when I move, to be more anonymous? Are there other Muslim bloggers in the area? What are the Muslims there like? What will they think of me? And even: How will I decorate?

I've also spent some time thinking about my upcoming honeymoon, the actual trip across the country. Since I've been away from my husband now for two full weeks, I'm really starting to miss him. I missed him at first but three days together was not enough time to prepare me for this separation. Frankly it's just weird--I didn't realize how weird it would feel.

Alhamdulillah, at any rate. My husband (can you tell I like saying that?) will eventually inshaaAllaah make it back to my side of the country to drive me to our new home. When he hasn't been insanely busy at work, he managed to find time to lease an apartment and take some lovely photographs of it with his brand new fancy camera. I'm excited.

The next few days will be extremely busy. InshaaAllaah, tomorrow is Thanksgiving, Friday is Eid and my brother's wedding rehearsal and dinner, and Saturday is the wedding!

On Eid--did anyone see the Best Buy advertisement saying "Happy Eid al-Adha?" What I found more intriguing than the actual ad were the complaints from some "Christian Americans" on various blogs when the subject came up. Now, these folks were not in any sense the majority, but they were certainly the most amusing, from complaining that Eid was a goat-slaughtering holiday and that Best Buy had banned Christmas. (Rolling my eyes at that one.)

These proud Christian Americans are no doubt the ones who will gather around a festively decorated table tomorrow to chow down on a carefully cooked and carved turkey. In fact, it's almost more common to hear people say "Turkey Day" than "Thanksgiving." But Eid is a goat-slaughtering holiday? Excuse my rant, but seriously? When an animal is slaughtered on Eid (and it can be a lamb, sheep, goat, cow, or camel, not just goat) it is done with a pretty clear purpose--to remember how Abraham, with his tremendous faith, was willing to sacrifice his son. The sacrifice also keeps the family in touch with nature, at least in a sense that the animal has to be slaughtered a certain way and so forth. It's not bought in a grocery store. And then the meat from the animal is to be eaten, and shared, especially with the poor and needy. So it's also a charity.

I tend to view Thanksgiving more as an exercise in gluttony than one of faith, sacrifice, or charity. Now that's just my perspective, but I find it pretty laughable to hear those "Christian Americans" complaining about Eid.

But on the other hand, I could care less (and they probably should or they might wind up with high blood pressure) if Best Buy wants to wish anyone a happy holiday, regardless of what the holiday is, and regardless of how specific they choose to be when conveying the greeting. Meaning, it doesn't bother me one bit to hear someone say "Merry Christmas" for example. So I can just keep on laughing at the whack-jobs who need to bother about holiday greetings in sale papers.

So there... a few random thoughts to say I blogged today! :-)

Officially Alumna

2009-11-22T15:28:00.002-05:00

I am now officially an alumna. I graduated technically in August, received my diploma soon thereafter, and now have been initiated as an alumna of my sorority.

After a year as my sorority's president, I went way off the radar and had practically nothing to do with the sorority until now, when I had to ceremonially renew my vows in front of the active sisters. It was kind of weird--I was definitely the oldest sister present at the ceremony. There were some other alumnae who had been active while I was, and some actives as well. One sister from my candidate class was still active, the other two are alumnae now but only one was present. But most of the sisters I had never even seen before--nearly 60 of them.

When I was first initiated into the sorority, we had some of the lowest numbers in our chapter's history. One semester I served as membership educator, liaison between the actives and the candidates, and we practically doubled our membership. (I think from 11 to 21.) For the next two semesters as president, our numbers doubled again. (I think from 21 to 44.) So to see that they've only increased more since I've left is really exciting.

I would love to see this kind of growth from my da'wah. Of course it's not in my hands, but can you imagine if you had a few people giving da'wah, and those receiving the da'wah embrace Islam, only to start giving da'wah to more people, who also give da'wah to more people?

Looking back, I think that joining my sorority was one of the better decisions I made in college. It opened so many doors for me, helped me explore my personality and it exposed me to many different types of people. (Which is odd, considering that sororities tend to be comprised of only a few types of people.) But had I not joined my sorority, I would not have hung out with the people through whom I met Muslims for the first time. The sorority was an important part of my college experience, even though I only spent about 2-3 years really participating in it. It was nice to attend the ceremony, look back at all the faces, and finally bid farewell to a part of my life, a chapter drawing to a close.

And now I'm ready to move on, stronger and wiser for the experience.

Blog Update

2009-11-18T23:28:00.002-05:00

Since I've been on my blog now for a few years, I am really itching to overhaul it. To change the name, format, everything. Any advice?

I feel like I've outgrown what I can do with this particular set-up, and I want to make so many changes that I think it will be easier to start from scratch. I also want to focus on my writing like I haven't done before--I enjoy blogging but I think I would like to concentrate on it a little bit more. And in order to do that I think I need to find a nitch, but my interests are so varied it might be difficult for me to stick to any particular topic exclusively.

So I'd like to ask from my readers, what sort of updates should I make? What sort of topics are the most interesting and most relevant? From those who know me, what would it be best for me to write about? So far most of my posts tend to be miscellaneous musings, notes from lectures, classes, and seminars, and personal experiences.

Thanks in advance for all the tips!

Let Them Eat Cake

2009-11-18T23:12:00.003-05:00

(Post to be updated in the future inshaaAllaah with pictures of the actual cakes.)

I've been holding off on some wedding posts since I'd like to include pictures but I'm afraid if I wait much longer that I'll forget to write at all! InshaaAllaah the pictures will come soon--I know I've got two great but incredibly busy friends working on the project.

Last night at dinner a friend asked me about any "craziness" that happened at my wedding. And the first thing that came to my mind was the wedding cake. Since my brother's fiancee has been learning cake decorating so she and her dad can make her own wedding cake, she's been looking to practice on other people's cakes. But I'd seen a previous cake and she did a fabulous job and was excited that she offered to do mine as well, so I readily took her up on the offer.

And she absolutely did a fabulous job. The cake was beautiful, and tasted just superb. Unfortunately it had a little bit of a rough ride to the reception and got a little messed up, frazzling my dear soon-to-be sister-in-law who felt compelled to present perfection. I had organized the tables in the room so that the cake (which I knew would be lovely) would be a centerpiece among all the other trays of food--so in addition to being food, it would also be decor. (And yes, some guests even thought the cake was from Edible Art!)

But the really funny part was that about an hour before the wedding I got a phone call from one of my guests, telling me that despite the late notice, she would be bringing a wedding cake! Really I had no idea what to expect, or what to say. These cakes take days to prepare so I couldn't very well turn her down an hour beforehand when she was presenting it as a gift and only right before the wedding.

So when I arrived at the wedding reception, there were two cakes. Surprise! And the second cake was a full wedding cake as well, set up on an adjacent table looking oddly out of place. A groom's cake? Hehe, perhaps. What confused me is that the guest who brought the cake expected my husband and I to actually cut her cake as well (we had engaged in a typical American cake-cutting photo-op) which to me felt supremely odd. So I didn't do it.

But since the first was so delicious (some guests informed me that they found themselves eating several pieces) it was handy to have a second cake. One of the brothers actually asked me if he could go ahead and cut the second cake--because the first one had vanished before everyone had tried a piece!

So in the end it worked out, but how awkward to have a second surprise wedding cake. A nice gift, to be sure, but one which should be announced beforehand. And a word to the wise about wedding cakes--fondant may be easy to decorate with but truly guests will appreciate the taste of home-made buttercream.

Taking Back the Gym

2009-11-13T20:20:00.004-05:00

Alhamdulillah, my masjid has a basketball court--although depending on who you ask, that could be good or bad for the youth. The good is that it brings youth to the masjid, but the bad could be that it takes them from the halaqaat and into the gym, giving them an excuse to avoid the blessings of the masjid. But today I'd say it was mostly good.

A friend of mine, one of the more athletic sisters in the community, has organized some weekly basketball time for sisters, on Friday afternoons. Last weekend with the wedding and everything I was much too busy, but this week I wanted to give it a try. Six sisters showed up, and found the gym occupied for about a half hour past the time we had planned to start. So we tried various stretches and exercises using body weight. Then we had to basically kick some brothers out of the gym so we could play.

Honestly, I didn't feel too bad about it since pretty much it's almost always just brothers playing basketball in there. There should be time for sisters too. When we came back to play again after breaking for maghrib, however, a larger group of guys (including an adult, unfortunately) were not interested in letting the sisters play at all. To be honest, though, they did have a point because the gym wasn't officially reserved, and so I'll imagine that if it had been (and that next week when it will be inshaaAllaah) they won't mind clearing out for a little while so sisters can play.

As I haven't played any basketball in over a decade, I thought I'd be pretty much useless on the court. On the other hand, while I couldn't quite run as fast as the other girls and had little experience in practical maneuvers, I wasn't a terribly bad shot. So I had a lot of fun (it's so fun when you score!) and really enjoyed the workout (mostly running.)

I hope that other masajid with gymnasiums and basketball courts make arrangements to ensure that sisters are also able to play. A lot of times sisters aren't given the chance to exercise--sometimes it's even frowned upon or considered too masculine--and that only makes it more likely for sisters to turn to other, unhealthier avenues to vent their frustration. Exercise promotes health, no doubt about that. And if we as Muslims promote health, we should also promote exercise, even, if not especially, for sisters. And having an environment where it is "safe" to exercise (without the leering eyes of men) is just one important step.

Aggressive Da'wah

2009-11-13T00:26:00.004-05:00

I don't think it's in the nature of most people, at least here in the US, to aggressively push their beliefs on others. And I think it's quite natural for someone to feel defensive in a situation where someone is being pushy in the matter of faith. At the same time, I think an effective da'ee avoids putting anyone in a defensive position, at least on a personal level. That's because if someone is defensive they have basically closed themselves off from your position, and they won't listen to your point of view.

Imagine, if you are Muslim, how you might feel if someone comes to you telling you about your own religion. Imagine someone who isn't Muslim telling you that Islam teaches this, preaches that, and you believe thus-and-such, and that this person is actually wrong. Because you don't believe whatever it is he's saying you do believe.

In fact this happens quite a lot--many people like to get up and say what Muslims believe. Usually it's in the context of trying to blame Islam for terrorism (or even to use Islam for terrorism.) It's popular to hear people who aren't Muslim saying "Muslims believe that..." and launching into an absurd rant about killing infidels or something equally ludicrous. Because this happens, as Muslims we should be easily able to understand the sentiment I am about to describe.

Imagine now a non-Muslim being told about his beliefs by a Muslim. In other words, the Muslim is telling that non-Muslim that he believes something in particular--and the Muslim might even cite the Qur'an--but that non-Muslim actually doesn't believe it. For example, I've yet to come across any Jews anywhere who say that Uzair (I guess in English it is Ezra?) is the son of God. And I don't mean to dispute the Qur'an on the issue at all--though it certainly doesn't say that all Jews espouse such a belief. And without bothering to really listen to our Jewish neighbors about their beliefs in the first place, it's kind of arrogant, I think, to try to prove what they believe when we are in fact the ones in error. It does nothing to strengthen the position of Islam or Muslims, or to further the da'wah.

I can't imagine it to be anything but rude or offensive to tell a person what he believes. Now that is just my opinion, but does anyone have reason to believe that such bullying da'wah techniques could ever be effective?