tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20631069.post8837668504897518823..comments2024-03-28T03:20:17.335-04:00Comments on Ibnat al-Hidayah: Daughter of Guidance: The Bottom of the WellAmyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15177578450022894894noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20631069.post-60527423489779391512008-01-02T03:56:00.000-05:002008-01-02T03:56:00.000-05:00Amy - you're right - meeting your fiance would cer...Amy - you're right - meeting your fiance would certainly ease their worries! I'm so sorry that you don't have many people in your family to reach out to - no worries - I'm just around the corner if you need a shoulder! :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20631069.post-81391670143082522932008-01-02T03:51:00.000-05:002008-01-02T03:51:00.000-05:00As-salaamu AlaikumThanks for the confidence boost,...As-salaamu Alaikum<BR/><BR/>Thanks for the confidence boost, I appreciate it. I am trying to show the real face of Islam, but it would be a lot easier to show the face of a red-eyed monster sometimes. The bleeding is not actually painful, of all things, though it is uncomfortable because I can feel it. InshaaAllah I'm going to have it looked at in the morning.<BR/><BR/>Naeem,<BR/><BR/>Jazakallah khair. It was nice to read your post, when I was really afraid that I was not doing what I should be doing, and that perhaps the more gracious thing to do would have been to stay away. So thanks.<BR/><BR/>L, <BR/>Unfortunately, it's most of my family who is acting silly. My parents, my two sisters and their husbands. My brother isn't so bad, though, and his fiancée has become a very dear friend of mine. I have one cousin I know of, but who I haven't met except once when I was much younger, and the only aunts or uncles I have are very far away and not close at all in relation to the family. We practically never see them, and the most contact is perhaps a few holiday phone calls between my parents, or updates when someone gets married, goes to the hospital, etc. My family does know I want to move abroad but they haven't had the good fortune to meet my fiancé, which I think might ease some of their troubles. I don't know if I'll have a strong desire to be with them. It's hard to want to be in the presence of people who have insulted you to your face on several occasions, not to mention who have belittled your faith, and your friends. Thanks for your comment.<BR/><BR/>Maya,<BR/>I appreciate your comment, but I actually do feel some responsibility to maintain the ties of my family even if they choose to neglect them. In fact, I am afraid that if I don't, I will be accountable to Allah for that and I don't think being uncomfortable, sad, or angry are good enough excuses. Moreover, it may be that by being persistent I am doing more good than harm (even for myself.) My dad has been in the hospital a few times recently and went back in at the end of December, and will shortly have an operation for another stint to be put in for his heart. It's a reminder that we don't live forever, and I might lose any one of my family members in the near future, and just waiting for things to cool off isn't an option. About the bleeding, thanks. I'm 24, but I guess hearing from you is a reminder that I'm not too young for things to go wrong. Will be in to see a doctor as soon as possible inshaaallah.Amyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15177578450022894894noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20631069.post-58612075272917460582007-12-29T12:41:00.000-05:002007-12-29T12:41:00.000-05:00There's a difference in trying to maintain ties an...There's a difference in trying to maintain ties and putting yourself through too much psychological and emotional stress. If your family is unwilling to accept you, you should of course continue to be kind, but do not allow hateful speech to go uncorrected. We should never put ourselves in situations which harm us, and we should never allow such situations to continue without criticism. I'm a firm believer in correcting bad behavior, albeit kindly. If your family is so willing to cast you aside simply because of a difference in theology, it's their loss, and you shouldn't subject yourself to pain because of their narrow mindedness.<BR/><BR/>Concerning the reproductive problem, you should definitely see a doctor. I have several issues (polycystic ovaries, tumors on my ovaries, upcoming surgeries, and a biopsy to test for cancer for the third time), and I'm 22. Catch the problem before it's too late.<BR/><BR/>My thoughts are with you :)Mayahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04888511922890235023noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20631069.post-4699484456788948512007-12-29T03:57:00.000-05:002007-12-29T03:57:00.000-05:00So sorry to hear you're going through this with yo...So sorry to hear you're going through this with your family. I hope that there is someone you can reach out to (perhaps an aunt / uncle / cousin)! <BR/><BR/>I think it's wonderful that you are doing your best to try to maintain ties with them - it shows a lot. Like a previous poster said, it will eventually dawn on them that you are the same person they really do know and love! <BR/><BR/>Were you very close to your family? Do they know you intend to move abroad? This could all just be a 'front' they're putting up and they could really just be hurting! Not to side with them, but I went through something similar (but no where near as intense) and once you all just admit that it's a new transition in life and yep - it's scary because it's nothing you've all experienced, things sort of work themselves out. <BR/><BR/>Back to the first comment I made - I'm saying I hope you have someone to connect to within your family because while it may feel like now you don't need them, years down the road after you've lived in KSA, you're going to have a strong desire to be with them. I've been away from my family for five years now and my heart burns to just be in the same room with them! I've got two sisters who've turned their noses up at me (after my last visit home) and I really miss that bond we had...<BR/><BR/>L - OmanAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20631069.post-34233691187523530152007-12-28T23:51:00.000-05:002007-12-28T23:51:00.000-05:00AA- Amy,Congratulations! You truly seem to be pas...AA- Amy,<BR/><BR/>Congratulations! You truly seem to be passing this test with flying colors. I appreciate your proper understanding of Silat-ur-Rahim (maintaining the ties of the womb), as too often people only keep ties when things are going well.<BR/><BR/>May Allah strengthen you and keep you firm in sticking this through!Naeem:https://www.blogger.com/profile/15397380149160556040noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20631069.post-45194434936013708312007-12-28T19:42:00.000-05:002007-12-28T19:42:00.000-05:00Aww *hugs* Keep ya head up Amy. Sometimes, it take...Aww *hugs* Keep ya head up Amy. Sometimes, it takes a while for families for to come to grips with a revert's decision. Insha'Allah, your family will come around. I think you're taking the right steps. Showing them the real face of Islam by still staying in contact with them despite them not wanting you to, by still showing them that you care for them. It will eventually dawn on them that you are still the same Amy they love. As for the feminine issues, I hope you get comfort for that as well. It sounds painful but Insha'Allah, the doctor will be able to help.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06484040395145769274noreply@blogger.com